Welcome To Earth
by Mistflyer1102
Summary: Mishaps and adventures follow the Autobots and Decepticons as they try to adjust to blending in with the human society in an effort to remain a secret after the events of Mission City. Too bad that is easier said than done. -07/09 Movie-
1. Crickets

Chapter One

Crickets

The afternoon sun was high in the sky when Bumblebee, in his Camaro form, pulled up to Sam's friend Miles's house. It appeared that his charge's friend needed a ride to a location called 'PETCO'. A quick scan of the World Wide Web revealed that the place was actually a pet shop, where they sold animals and supplies. Bumblebee felt slightly sympathetic to the animals' plight; the confining cages had to be as painful as the torture that Bumblebee had received from the human scientists at the Hoover Dam.

Miles was just as heavy as Bumblebee remembered him, since he did have to carry both teens to the pool of liquid that was later named as a lake. The adolescent's weight sagged as he slumped in the seat, feet propped onto the dashboard. Bumblebee scanned the radio for an appropriate song that could get his irritation across; he couldn't speak to Sam with the other adolescent right there. Finding none, he slowly came to a halt in the middle of the road.

"Whoa Sam. Are you sure the mechanics got _all _the kinks out?" Miles asked as the car ground to a halt.

Sam frowned. "Yeah. Let me see what's up." He said, leaning down and pretending to check something right underneath the radio. "What's up Bee?" he muttered as he pretended to study the wiring.

Instead of verbally answering, there was a _whish_ and Miles let out a "Whoa!" as his seat flipped back and he was lying down instead of sitting. Sam sighed and sat back up.

"Sit straight man. You're like a sack of potatoes when you slump." Sam said. "Sorry about that Bee." He muttered to the radio. The car engine roared back to life in response and continued on down the road.

Miles muttered about how Sam had such a picky car as they headed to the only shopping center that Tranquility had, and a small one at that. PETCO was only one of five big stores there, and smaller stores and shops consisted of the rest of the center. Bumblebee slid nicely into the parking slot between a menacing monster truck and a familiar Escalade.

"Let's make this fast. I don't want to be around when Trent gets back. He's still mad at me about Mikaela dumping him for me." Sam said. He and Miles vanished into PETCO.

Bumblebee contented himself with watching the people passing, and those entering and leaving the pet store. For some odd reason, the four-legged animals began making loud vocal sounds and scrabbling towards him. It wasn't until Sam and Miles (with the coveted crickets) came out and practically threw them-selves into the Camaro did the animals leave him alone. As Bumblebee was backing out, a very angry Trent DeMarco came out, yelling and cursing while covered in what looked like feed or grain of some sort.

Sam and Miles didn't stop panicking until they were far from the shopping center. They only slowed down when Sam was sure they weren't being followed anymore. Bumblebee could now hear faint chirping in his backseat, and remembered the last time they were in his backseat, a few weeks ago when he first had arrived and met his charge.

"Thanks for the ride dude. It's pretty sweet that they were having a sale on crickets." Miles said as they came up to his home. He leaned back and took the bag. Only Bumblebee felt the slight resistance the bag gave, since it was snagged on a nearby clip.

"When are you getting your ride?" Sam asked as Miles climbed out.

"Soon I hope." Miles said, looking at the Camaro. "Dude, you need to give the name of the mechanic who worked on your car. Looks like it just came off the assembly line."

Sam smiled enigmatically. "Sorry, I promised to keep his name quiet," he said. Somehow, he suspected that the answer 'government' was not going to fly very well with his childhood friend.

Miles frowned for a moment, and then asked, "Is this the same car you called 'Satan's Camaro'?"

"Not exactly." Sam admitted, wincing slightly.

"How did that end?"

"Umm, turned out it was some guy was pulling a prank." Sam replied. Bumblebee wondered when this incident happened, and then remembered chasing his charge down the street and through town. The same chase had ended with Barricade confronting him in the junkyard.

"Whatever dude. See you tomorrow I guess. You still don't want to give the name of that mechanic?"

"Yes Miles." Sam replied patiently.

Miles just scowled before smiling again. He waved as Sam left.

The rest of day consisted of a few things. First, they had to go to the store for food because Mrs. Witwicky had hassled her son about groceries. Sam had created a scene by running out of the store for his life when Trent had appeared out of nowhere and chased the hapless teen in cold vengeance for the second time that day. The second thing was a car wash for Bumblebee, and the Autobot decided that mechanized car wash wasn't as good as the washes Sam gave, because at least Sam remembered not to be so rough. The third thing was picking up Mikaela for something called a 'date' with Sam, and Sam had to explain the whole thing to Bumblebee the whole way to her home because the whole thing was unusually confusing. What was the point of having three or more different meanings for one word?

So he was reasonably tired when Sam finally got home at 10:55 PM that night. They both needed recharging, the boy more because he had been chased twice that day.

It must have been early in the morning when he jerked from the recharging cycle. Something wasn't right.

Bumblebee ran a personal diagnostic and found that all his systems were running fine. That was when he felt the irritating sensation, similar to what humans called 'itching'. It was coming from under his backseats and slowly spreading into the components underneath.

_Now_ it was starting to really irritate him.

He checked the chronometer that humans called 'clocks'. The digital display read 3:45 AM. He knew that Ratchet would either be recharging or patrolling Tranquility. Either way the medic would not want to be disturbed unless it was a life-threatening emergency.

The itch was now near his back suspensions. Bumblebee mentally reviewed his day to try and pinpoint when something foreign could have gotten into his systems.

Nearing the end of his patience, he gave three short blasts on the horn. He and Sam had devised a code that would allow one of them to alert the other to something that was amiss. The one they had come up was actually the human Morse Code.

Sam came running out of the house onto the still-destroyed lawn, still in the set of clothes called 'pajamas', barefoot. Another thing that Bumblebee couldn't understand was the necessity of constantly wearing clothing, even while swimming.

"What is it Bee?" he asked, unlocking the door, no doubt as a show for the observant male and female that constantly kept an eye on him.

Bumblebee quickly and quietly explained the problem. Sam opened the back door and climbed in. He bent over and examined underneath the backseat. A growl betrayed Sam's anger at the sight before him.

A couple of streets down, Miles lay awake in his bedroom. He just couldn't figure it out. He was sure he had paid the saleslady for fifty-two crickets, but when he opened the bag to feed A-Rod, he had only found two in the bag. He planned to pester Sam into another ride.

He jerked in his bed when he heard Sam yell "_MILES!"_

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A/N: Welcome to the first of a series of short stories chronicling the adventures of the Transformers, Autobots and Decepticons alike after the events of Mission City. Some will be entertaining, others will be meaningful. This first story is referencing to an incident in the book Transformers in which Miles expresses his unhappiness at the fact his pet toad is still alive and so he still needs to feed it.


	2. A Lasting Partnership

Chapter Two

A Lasting Partnership

The hot Nevada sun beat down on his hood as Barricade crept along the congested highway. He never knew how much the insects enjoyed super-natural events. They treated it as though it was once-in-a-lifetime opportunity… actually kind of appropriate considering their pathetic life spans compared to his. At the moment, the creatures were crowding the Hoover Dam and the surrounding roadways, intent on seeing the destruction that Starscream had wreaked upon the facility before escaping with Megatron an Earth month ago. It was also driving the human authorities crazy.

At the moment, he was just blending in.

Despite the overall curiosity level, the human government was intent on hiding it all. Even Barricade had to admit they were doing a good job.

He supposed he was lucky, since the police car he had scanned had apparently been equipped with an air conditioner, and that was currently cooling his interior down.

Irritated, Barricade moved off of the main road onto a smaller ramp that was marked for authorities only. This was one of those few times that being a flyer would have worked in his favor. But there were only a few.

He was here in an attempt to recover Frenzy… or what was left of him. He had picked up snippets of conversation between humans on the radio and heard that the irksome Autobot Bumblebee had been subject to human experiments and had been at the mercy of the so-called scientists. He wouldn't have wished that fate on his worst enemy, much less his partner.

No one challenged him as he came closer to the self-proclaimed Sector Seven base in the basement of the dam. It was sad really to see how much faith and trust went into the law enforcers. He suspected he could get away with murder as long as he had a passable excuse.

The government agent acting as a security officer gestured for him to halt. Barricade resisted the urge to simply run him down (the guard was in the middle of the road after all) and came to a grinding halt. His holo-form flickered, and then held as the guard came around.

"ID please." The soldier grunted.

ID? Unfamiliar with the acronym, Barricade ran a quick search on the World Wide Web for the meaning. The holo-form arched an eyebrow and said in a cool tone, "My 'ID' is unnecessary."

The guard frowned. "I need to see some form of identification," he said.

The driver reached into the pants pocket and pulled out a piece of plastic the humans called a 'driver's license'. "I'm escorting a requested guest for the director." Barricade lied.

Instead of being challenged like he expected, the guard just waved him through. As soon as he was out of sight, the holo-form disappeared and Barricade resisted the urge to gloat over the man's stupidity. If all humans were this gullible, then he was right at home and would have no problem.

Then again, the Witwicky boy had been intelligent enough to deal a double-blow to the Decepticon legions by defeating Megatron and destroying the Cube. Then there was that Lennox human who had thought to take the Cube to Mission City. Okay, so maybe there were intelligent humans. As he pulled up to a makeshift parking garage, he wondered if the dumb ones outnumbered the smart ones or vice versa.

He activated his holo-form again, and soon enough a uniformed police officer was walking calmly through the halls. He wondered how the onlookers would react if they could see the internal destruction that both Megatron and Frenzy had wreaked in the place. The place was a mess, with cables hanging from the ceiling and panels ripped from the walls.

"Officer!"

He kept walking until he realized that he was the officer that was being addressed. He turned to see an enraged male coming. He tensed; if it came to a fight, he supposed he could leave the human alive, but barely.

"Officer, will you please watch the communications room? There are some freaking civvies in here." The man growled, pointing. Barricade only agreed because he sensed a faint, pulsing electronic signature in that direction. He waited until the other man was gone before entering the room. As he searched through the destruction, he pondered on the term 'civvies'. A quick search on the World Wide Web revealed that it was another, harsher word for 'civilians', or all non-military people.

Which to say was there was a lot of civilians on this particular planet. Barricade wondered how the government managed to keep about 250,000,000 civilians under control. And that was in this particular country alone.

He finally located the signal and reached in, pushing debris aside. It was the main torso of Frenzy's body; his head was missing but his spark was still pulsing despite the abuse the outer armor had obviously received.

He gathered up of what he could find of Frenzy's body, and placed it on a black cloth on a steel table. Then he stood and said aloud, "Frenzy?"

He waited, knowing the little Decepticon would recognize his voice anywhere. He was confident that Frenzy would come, for Barricade had lost track of how many times he had to save Frenzy from the fury of the older and bigger Decepticons. Loyalty always paid off if you stuck to it.

There was a rustle of machinery after a few minutes, and Barricade watched as the head came inching across the floor. Frenzy's unusual blue eyes glared furiously at the older mech.

"Let's go. I sense that they are discovering the ruse I used to get in." Barricade hissed, picking up the head much to the indignation of the smaller mech. He put the head on the cloth and wrapped it all… tight, just to muffle the Cybertronian and human curses coming from Frenzy. He then briefly searched for any more pieces of Frenzy's body, and tossed everything he found into a bag with the Sector Seven logo on it, including Frenzy's head.

His holo-form was beginning to flicker. He tried to hurry, but his load was slowing him down. On top of it all, Frenzy was still shrieking curses that still could be heard, but barely. It was a small wonder the humans got anything done when they moved slowly.

"Halt!"

Cursing in quiet Cybertronian, he turned to see Agent Reginald Simmons, ex-Sector Seven leader, coming towards him… and he looked rather angry. Barricade had had limited experience with this particular human, but knew a pain in the neck when he saw it.

"Where do you think you're going?" he demanded, and then he noticed the bag. "What's in there?"

"Nothing. There is a pack of civilians that got into the base." Barricade lied smoothly.

Simmons looked furious, if that was even possible in his current, agitated state. "How many times have I got to tell security _not to fall for their tricks?"_

While he ranted, Barricade backed up and tried to walk normally, but failed miserably as Simmons noticed. "Hey, what are you doing?" the agent demanded, following him.

At this moment, Frenzy threw a particular vile Cybertronian curse, and it was loud enough for Simmons to hear. The man went sheet-white as his brain made several connections with his past experiences and the present time.

"Oh… my…" Simmons stammered. "You're one of those… transforming N.B.E. things…"

"Surprise." Barricade hissed, and then escaped from the hall.

So Simmons was smarter than he looked. Barricade would have to be more careful next time.

The man was determined to catch him, for Barricade practically tore out of the parking garage, a pack of green army jeeps right behind him. Now he had to leave or risk getting dismantled. It all depended if he could out-run the humans... which he definitely could, but he was thinking about possibly bringing a few of them down first, and then running for it. No need to have the Autobot Ironhide get involved in this already-messy situation.

He could handle it.

There was a series of ripping sounds, and then a disgruntled Frenzy pulled himself out of the bag in the passenger seat. He must have unwrapped his head to fix himself a bit. "You go too slow!" he screeched. Irritated, Barricade activated the lights and sirens that cleared the human cars fast. With a screech and the smell of burning rubber, Barricade tore down the highway, Frenzy yelling at him the whole way. Expressing gratitude wasn't something either mech usually did.

Talk about a bad day.

Captain James Lamarck watched as the rouge police cruiser vanished into the recovering Mission City. The bad... problem had been identified by a custodian in the parking garage all the way back in the Hoover Dam, identified by the cruiser number and distinctive motto. Lamarck slowed his jeep, and the other soldiers obeyed as well. They had promised the city mayor not to tread on city borders, just to keep the media and civilians calm. They would have to head him off on the other side.

His second-in-command Lieutenant Thomas Johnson joined him, and neither man said anything. But they did wince when they heard honking horns, crashes, cats, and other sounds of out-of-control road rage. A recovering city didn't need _this._

Not that Barricade really cared.

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A/N: I apologize if you think if any of the characters is OOC.


	3. Baby Blues

Chapter Three

Baby Blues

"Be safe." Lennox said, kissing his wife lightly on the cheek.

She offered a cocky smirk. "Don't think I can handle the truck?" she asked, gesturing to the black GMC truck that was sitting in their driveway. She laughed lightly as she placed a sleeping Annabelle in the car seat in the back and began strapping her in. "Relax Will. It's just a truck. I can handle it."

U.S. Army Captain William Lennox glanced at the truck, and he knew that Ironhide was listening to the conversation. "Right," he finally said, feeling slightly uncomfortable, as if he was being closely examined. "What if it was more than 'just a truck'?" he asked. He grimaced when he remembered having to explain the necessity of a car seat to Ironhide, who had been insulted thinking that it meant Sarah didn't trust him with taking care of the baby

"What else could it be? An alien in disguise?" Sarah asked as she shut the doors and came around to the driver's side. She grinned at Will's grimace, assuming it was all an act. "Relax, it's just groceries. I'm kidding about the aliens. It's not like meteors aren't going to just come down and crash."

Will just nodded absently as he pretended to check the grille plates. "Just to warn you, Sarah hasn't driven a truck this big before." He muttered.

The car engine just revved in response. Will knew he was fretting over nothing; Ironhide would never let harm come to Sarah or Annabelle since it was clear that if Ironhide was going to be guarding him, his wife and baby daughter had to be included.

Sarah hummed along to the radio as she headed into town. The truck ran like a dream; she still couldn't believe that the government had allowed Will to keep it for no apparent reason. She knew that the truck had to have been pricy since it was such top quality.

But then again, their smaller Toyota had been top quality until Annabelle ridden in it.

First stop was the electronics store since the baby monitors needed new batteries. That was a quick trip, to the point where she left Annabelle in the truck with the air conditioner running. Then she headed over to her second stop, the grocery store. This time she took Annabelle with her.

Ironhide watched as the two females headed in. He never knew that a sparkling could sleep through so much. He shuddered at the memory of when Bumblebee had been at that young age, and then nearly switched offline when he recalled the twins Sunstreaker and Sideswipe when they were younger. Sadly, there had not been much improvement in their behavior since then.

It felt like hours of sitting and waiting in the sun. He noticed then that a car had just vacated a spot that promised shade underneath a tree and closeness to the store entrance. Very slowly and discreetly, he pulled out of the slot he was currently in and moved into the shady spot. A Prius honked irritably at him, since its driver had wanted that spot.

Sarah came out soon enough, and was rather surprised to see him sitting there instead of the spot she originally had chosen. Ironhide made a mental note to ask Will to tell his female to park in the shade rather than in direct sunlight next time.

She cautiously checked the license plates, and then the interior, as if making sure that it was the same truck. Then she unlocked the doors and carefully placed and secured a fully-awake and squirming baby in the car seat again. She pushed the rattling cart back to a line of other carts, and then returned to the truck. Then she got back into the driver's seat and left the parking lot and headed back on the road that should have taken them home.

That was when Ironhide's misfortune began.

Something must have happened to Annabelle earlier, for she began to wail uncontrollably. Ironhide wished he could easily shut off his audio receptors, but he would have to transform back to his original form and do it, but sadly that wasn't an option.

Sarah clearly interpreted the piercing wails correctly, for she pulled over at a gas station to help the upset child better. Seeing the gas prices, she muttered her thanks to Will for always keeping the tank full for her, and then slid out. Ironhide sank noticeably on his tires in relief as Sarah took the wailing child away. He was extremely lucky that the humans Samuel Witwicky and Mikaela Banes were old enough to control themselves or he would have short-circuited during the rescue for Bumblebee and the battle for Earth. That wouldn't have been really helpful to Optimus at all.

He could now see Sarah returning with the blotchy-faced youngster. There was a white substance around the child's mouth, which Sarah wiped with a white rag. The mother was cooing to the child the entire time, keeping the screams at bay.

"Awww someone doesn't feel well do they?" she cooed, visibly calming the child down. "I'll set something up with the doctor tomorrow okay sweetie?"

The promise of a doctor visit calmed Annabelle down. Smiling, Sarah climbed into the driver's seat and resumed the trip home. Annabelle remained quiet, nestled in her car seat, surrounded by grocery bags on the floor and on the seat next to her.

Ironhide saw it coming before Sarah even realized something was wrong. Annabelle's face scrunched up into a scowl and her lower lip began to tremble. From his brief excursions onto the World Wide Web, Ironhide knew that the expression was one of the universal human signs of displeasure. Typically, crying followed, especially in younger humans.

Annabelle took a few audible sniffs, and her eyes began to take on a glass-like appearance. When Sarah didn't notice either of the warning signals, Annabelle burst out, bawling again. Sarah didn't pull over this time, only took her eyes off the road to soothe the youngster again.

It was a wonder the human race made it this far if they didn't pay attention to what was happening to their surroundings. Ironhide swerved, under his own control this time, to avoid a hulking SUV and its adolescent driver. Sarah let out a yelp and Annabelle only cried harder. Sarah cursed under her breath and focused on the road again, but still trying to soothe the child with vocal sounds, and failing miserably.

It happened too fast and Ironhide didn't have time to protect himself… not that he could in the end. Annabelle began hiccupping, and next thing he knew, she had spit up a liquidity – mass-like substance onto herself, the car seat, the back of the passenger seat and the seat the car seat was sitting on. Ironhide almost braked completely when he felt the mass hit him. Trying not to recoil in disgust, he forced himself to focus on the road.

No need to look _that_ one up on the World Wide Web.

Sarah was too distracted by her sick daughter and her own headache to notice that she had let go of the wheel completely and the truck was now driving itself home. She only expressed surprise when she realized she was now in her driveway with a concerned husband on the porch waiting anxiously for her return.

Sarah got out of the driver's side and went around to Annabelle's side and moaned. "Just like the Toyota," she muttered, pulling a screaming Annabelle from the car seat.

Much to Ironhide's irritation, Lennox was stifling a laugh as he saw the extent of the damage that Annabelle had wreaked upon the interior. When the back was cleaned of groceries, Will leaned in and began wiping down the back seat.

"Not a word." Ironhide snarled, loud enough for just Will to hear. It was embarrassing that a veteran weapons specialist was covered in human discharge. He would never hear the end of it from either of the humans that were staying with them if they heard about this.

Lennox only laughed.

From the porch, Sarah just stared at her husband, wondering what on earth could be so funny.

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A/N: Forgot to say this, but Transformers and all related characters and media belong to their respective companies, not me.


	4. Area 51

Chapter Four

Area 51

After fleeing Mission City, he had left Earth for a while. Finding nobody of use, he had returned back to Earth, and learned that due to the form he had chosen, there were few places he could be without being under suspicion. So he had flown to one of those places, easily blending in with the other F-22 Raptor jets that were safe under the roofs of the military bases.

To this day, Starscream seriously regretted that decision.

His holoform at the moment was standing beside the plane and 'listening' as another pilot regaled him with a tale whose subject he had long forgotten, since it wasn't that important to begin with. He had also forgotten the pilot's name as well… Tom Catticus was it? He was succeeding where Megatron had failed; he was boring Starscream to death.

He was itching to take flight again. The United States government rarely allowed F-22s to fly on their own for no apparent reason. So Starscream had taken the time to spin an elaborate story that got him the desired permission, utilizing the human weakness of impatience. The attendant in the 'air traffic control' hadn't been in the mood to listen to his story… which was fine with him.

"That's nice." He finally interrupted, shutting the human up. He knew that the humans had a saying that went, 'it was the quiet ones that required the careful watch', but it appeared so did the loud ones. "I have a five minute window to take off, and you are wasting my time." He said, trying to control his temper.

"Oh, that's too bad. Why, there was this one time that…" the human said, rambling on and off again.

Starscream considered taking the man's head off, just to shut him up. This was worse than Frenzy on an energy rush – the little mech had this bad habit of taking more energon than his body could handle, and he would be out of control for the next few cycles. The only way to take care of him while this was happening was blasting the little pest into the nearest wall… several times. Okay, this human was definitely worst than Frenzy.

That was saying quite a bit

Ignoring the human now, he made a show of the holoform climbing into the cockpit and closing the hatch. The engines powered up.

The observation tower watched and monitored as the F-22 Raptor jet took off, with seconds to spare in the small granted time window.

Starscream found himself calming down as he shot above the desert that encompassed a major part of the country here. He was relishing the feeling of wind running by his wings, so therefore was distracted that he didn't notice the approaching stealth bombers from behind. He only noticed when the two missiles barely missed him by inches.

Enraged, he swerved to avoid them, and resisted the temptation to blow the bombers from here to Cybertron. Instead, he barrel-rolled and nosedived towards the ground, bombers keeping pace with him. He was now getting a bad feeling as two more joined the original pair.

Growing desperate, he accelerated and continued going straight, now focusing on just out-flying the attackers. The insects puzzled him. Why were they attacking one of their own?

He let out super-sonic screech as one of the missiles grazed his side, cutting through the armor and exposing the delicate circuitry underneath. He very nearly submitted to the temptation of turning and blasting them all out of the sky, but the small reminder about the nearby Autobots popped up in the back of his processor. He needed to maintain his cover as an innocent F-22, and not expose himself as the conniving Decepticon.

Starscream then realized that he could not go any faster; normal F-22s could not break the sound barrier like he could. The bomber pilots would instantly suspect him.

That was when it occurred to him that the bombers were no longer following him. Instead, they seemed to be hovering, as if guarding. Starscream performed a flip and headed back, skirting the edge of some invisible line. That was when he noticed the small white building in the middle of the desert. Two of the bombers returned to a hangar near the building while the other pair kept an eye on him. They were clearly guarding the air over the building, which was a mistake since Starscream now knew that something important. Something he didn't know about and decided that he _should_ know about.

But today was not the day to antagonize the bombers. True, they were slower and clumsier than him, but they did land a lucky missile on him, and his side felt like as if a fire had lit to it. Grumbling he turned and took the long way around this apparently forbidden area. He went slower, as to not aggravate his injury further and cook up a reasonable explanation for the humans back at the base.

Perhaps he went too slow.

It was around midnight when he finally touched down onto the landing strip. Grumbling about having to rely on inferiors, he sent an encrypted signal on a secure link. The receiver was not going to be happy about this… then again, she rarely was.

His assigned 'wingmate', a human female named Alexis Preston was waiting by the other jets, waiting for him. She was the only human at the base who knew of his true identity, and he had to threaten a slow and _very_ painful death in order to guarantee her silence. However, as bothersome as she could be, she could be extremely useful at times.

Her sharp brown eyes followed him in, and he see that she had been in the middle of her sleep cycle when he had signaled her. The long hair was tied back out of her eyes and tucked in the baggy mechanic's clothes that she wore when she was working on her plane. She scowled when she saw the damage on his side.

"Do I want to know?" she demanded as she pulled a ladder next to him, keeping her voice down low.

"If you ask me, I was just flying, minding my business. They started it." He snapped. He could feel the metal regenerating itself, already aware that the circuitry underneath hadn't suffered any damage, just a slight singeing.

"Where were you flying?" she asked, already attempting to scrub at the burn to remove all visible traces of it. Starscream refused to admit this even to himself but the scrubbing was a little relaxing.

"Over the desert, near some white structures that you call 'buildings'," he replied sarcastically, thinking of the skyscrapers on Cybertron. Earth buildings were pathetic compared to the spires of his homeworld.

The scrubbing stopped. "You did not," she whispered, horrified.

"Did too," he retorted. "Do you humans have certain rules about which buildings to fly over or something?"

She ignored the jibe. "That was Area 51." She replied, scrubbing again. "A top-secret government facility. Not even the United States Air Force is allowed to fly over it. Only certain planes they have cleared are permitted. I'm surprised they left you in one piece," she paused, and then said, "Then again, you weren't here for the review of the rules during orientation here."

Starscream snorted. "You expected me to sit and listen through _that_?"

She finished and said, "There. Done." She climbed down the ladder and came around so he could see her visually now. "As for the orientation, well, I would expect you to go, just so you can find out which rules were worth breaking."

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A/N:** Constructive **flames welcome


	5. Another Kind of Rescue

Chapter 5

Another Kind of Rescue

Sirens wailed as two police cruisers passed Ratchet on the highway. This was the third pair to pass him that night heading in that direction. Based on his previous observations on human behavior, he was able to infer that there was yet another emergency at hand.

Emergencies seemed to happen quite often.

Slightly concerned, Ratchet switched into the emergency radio frequency, wonder what on Cybertron could be the matter.

'…_car topple on Route 54…confirmed passenger…five-year old girl…disappeared just yesterday… possibly dead…'_ announced a garbled voice over the radio, broken only by bursts of static.

Ratchet may have not been on Earth long, but he did know that human protoforms generally required parental attention for eighteen years. It usually did not end well for those neglected for at least four to three days, especially for the younger ones.

Activating his own sirens, he accelerated and followed the two cruisers, the drivers being kept up-to-date by the dispatcher, who also supplied better details about the location. Ratchet then sent a brief message to Optimus as to the reason for his tardiness to arriving at the new base in southern California.

He followed the cruisers as they left the main highway and went onto a dirt road that saw very little activity, for there only faint tracks in the mud. It soon grew darker as woods, unusual for the Southwest, appeared on either side of the road, a thin metal guard rail acting as the only barrier between life and almost certain death.

An orange barrier appeared out of nowhere, cutting across the road. Both cruisers came to a sudden, screeching halt in front of it, spraying mud everywhere. Having sensed the barrier ahead of time, Ratchet was able to avoid a collision with the cruisers.

A human dressed in an orange vest appeared from behind the barrier and removed a section, big enough for one vehicle to pass through at a time. He chatted briefly with both police drivers while shining a flashlight into the car as if to see the driver better. He then allowed both cruisers to pass. He turned when Ratchet pulled up.

The man shined his flashlight into the cab of the yellow Hummer as it pulled up next to him after the two police cruisers had left. A man with somewhat tidy brown hair and unnaturally blue eyes gazed steadily back at him. A brief check on the vehicle's side revealed the Hummer to be a local Search & Rescue vehicle.

Perfect.

"Nice job on the timing. The dogs just got here and the ambulance is late," he said to the driver, who politely nodded. "Just move along please. Park near the edge so we won't have to carry the victim far," he directed.

He didn't see the driver disappear.

The floodlights at the scene provided more visibility as Ratchet parked near the guard rails as directed, prepared to leave the second it was necessary. He noted the gaping hole in the guard rail, with both ends curled outward into darkness. Using his sensors, Ratchet was able to discover that the road was on a small hill that had a steep slope. Trees dominated the ground below.

A growling sound diverted his attention. Dogs. A pack of dogs, and not Mojo – sized either. These dogs came up to the handler's waist, and were golden with shades of brown and black. He tensed, waiting to see what they would do.

To his mild surprise, they only ignored him. They were more interested in sniffing their surroundings than harassing him. Ratchet had learned, in a conversation with Mikaela, that animals in general had a sixth sense, along with the original five senses that humans used to interact with the world around them. Apparently, animals used this 'sixth sense' to detect abnormal or unnatural things in their environment.

He watched as a pair of humans approached the handlers and offered something to them. It was a piece of child's clothing that was light blue. The second handler took it and knelt so the dogs could smell it. The animals slowly but surely grew more excited at the scent, and then the first handler released the dogs. The barking pack ran for the edge of the road, past the damaged guard rail and quickly disappeared from view. A group of men armed with flashlights followed the dogs shortly afterwards.

Ratchet gently opened the back doors when nobody was looking so he was ready for the injured patient once said patient arrived. As he waited, he wondered as to what purpose the canines would serve in this situation. All he had seen of them so far were dogs wreaking havoc and leaving a trail of destruction behind.

The family nearby was not taking the waiting very well. The maternal parent clung to her partner, who was doing everything in his power to keep her calm. The police officers present were chatting in low voices, and only Ratchet could hear them He heard what they were saying and what they were hiding from the small family unit. They did not expect for the young one to still be alive after all this time. They were debating the best way to break the news to the family without creating an even worse situation.

A long and loud howl split the night air, echoing among the trees. The cry was picked up by the dog's pack members, and startled the humans who had been waiting. Ratchet listened to the symphony of barks and howls that rang through the night. He realized that the dogs must have found the victim and were alerting the humans following them to the fact. The waiting parents were growing hopeful, and a few officers looked baffled at the fact that the child had survived and been found.

It was only a few minutes later when the dogs and humans re-emerged from the ravine. The last man was holding a large pink bundle, a particularly large dog at his heels. The mother – the only female present, made a noise in her throat as though she was being strangled when the male carried the bundle over to Ratchet.

He jumped into the back, and the dog followed, faithful to the end. "Driver, take us to the nearest hospital and step on it!" he called through the dividing wall between the back and the cab of the Hummer.

Ratchet did a quick GPS scan and swiftly located the nearest hospital. As he headed to Mission City Memorial Hospital, he ran a quick scan over the young one. The child was cold, dehydrated, and starving but very much alive. The human was already using the supplies Ratchet had put there for such an emergency to help the child's recovery. The dog, the child's rescuer lay down on the floor, ears relaxed against its head.

Perhaps the canines weren't so useless after all.

-----------

A/N: I got the idea for this piece from the song 'Innocence' by Avril Lavigne


	6. Caffeine Craze

Chapter Six

Caffeine Craze

"_Would that be all sir?"_

The police officer glanced at the little creature beside him, who nodded. He leaned over and said "Yes that's it."

Frenzy glared at the officer. He wasn't ordering the stupid drink himself because he was too small to have a solid-matter projector in order to project his own holoform and therefore alter his voice to a normal volume level, and speak proper English. Barricade looked pained at having to be at what the humans called a 'fast-food restaurant', especially in his vehicle form. People were staring. Apparently police officers didn't stop at this particular place enough.

After being chased out of the Hoover Dam, the pair had taken refuge in Mission City until local authorities recognized the cruiser number and chased them out. Then the army had ambushed them at the city outskirts. They had recently lost the army in the twists and turns of the city the humans called Phoenix. Before they had vanished, however, Frenzy had done a human action called 'flipping the bird' on them, only enraging them further.

Humans were unusually persistent.

Now they were at a place called 'McDonalds' to grab Frenzy a human drink. Barricade had only recently learned that the little mech had been consuming human products after sampling a product the insects called a 'Ding-Dong' aboard the Air Force One plane. Something called coffee was the latest thing to try.

"Here's your coffee sir, with extra sugar. That will be $3.95." the girl in the window said in a cheery voice. Barricade was clearly grateful for the tinted windows as he leaned over and took the cash from Frenzy. The little mech had 'borrowed' a man's wallet only because the owner had accidentally left it on the table near the picnic area at this place. Using the 'borrowed' laptop, Frenzy had calculated how much each bill was worth and handed over the money to Barricade's holoform. He handed the girl the five-dollar bill, and she gave him one dollar and a five-cent coin back, along with the desired coffee. The window rolled back up, and the car peeled away, the officer vanishing, but not before putting the cup into a cup holder. Frenzy was at the moment figuring how much money was on the man's credit card.

He finally shut the laptop and took the cup and cautiously sniffed it. He had lost track of how many times Blackout or Bonecrusher had to tried to poison his energon. No longer suspecting a trap, he downed the cup in two gulps. Then he tossed the cup into the back of the car, ignoring the clattering sound. "Barricade, we need to stop again." He hissed.

"Need to relieve yourself?" came the sarcastic reply.

"No, need more of this 'coffee'. Very good stuff." Frenzy said.

Silence. Then, "Is it absolutely necessary?"

"YES!"

Grumbling, Barricade drove on for a few more minutes and stopped again at another McDonalds. For the second time in an hour, he got in line at a drive-through. And for a second time people stared as the Saleen waited for its turn at the speaker.

"_Hello and welcome to McDonalds. How may we help you?"_

"Get nine." Frenzy hissed.

Willing to do anything to get the little mech to shut up, Barricade obeyed. "Nine coffees, tall, and extra sugar and nothing else. That is all." He ordered, feeling more like an idiot than a Decepticon soldier. For once he was glad Megatron was gone; it would not do to have the powerful Decepticon leader to see one of his best soldiers ordering from a human restaurant for an oversized little mechanical runt.

For the second time the desired coffee came. "$36.50." the cashier asked. She got $37, and Barricade growled, "Keep the change." Before tearing off onto the main road.

Frenzy guzzled the liquid down while tossing the empty cups into the back seat. Barricade growled when cup number seven hit the back window and then landed into the back seat. "You're picking those up." He growled.

"Says who?" Frenzy retorted. That was when he picked up on the familiar camouflage patterns of the army trucks. "Hurry up they're catching up!"

Activating the lights and sirens, Barricade accelerated. There was nothing he wanted to do other than turn around and viciously attack the soldiers, but like Starscream, they needed to maintain their cover.

The whole excitement finally got to Frenzy as cup number nine was finished. He began moving restlessly in the front seat, starting to irritate Barricade. Finally he just sat down, but the energy in his system was now building up. Finally he exploded, "_FASTER!"_

The police car spat a series of Cybertronian curses before accelerating, mowing down a few cars in the process. Frenzy could feel the energon pumping at a faster rate, and it felt as though he had gulped down more energon than his body could handle.

And Barricade wasn't going fast enough. Did he want the both of them to be captured? Growling, Frenzy began working away at the passenger door locks – Barricade wouldn't notice because he was too focused on the road and escape.

He did notice when the door violently swung wide open. On a normal car, even a normal police cruiser, the door would have ripped completely off at the speed they were going. But then again, Barricade wasn't a normal cruiser. Before the older mech could react, Frenzy let himself go and he flew towards their pursuers.

Unwilling to lose what he had just gained, Barricade executed a neat 180 before tearing after the loose little guy.

Frenzy had chosen to take Starscream's advice for once and focused his energy on something constructive. He smashed through the windshield of the first jeep, startling the occupants. He then tore straight through and out the back end. He held onto the next jeep and ripped the hood off and began tearing away at the engine.

The jeep careened out of control and smashed into the car next to it, into a very surprised Captain Lamarck. Five minutes later, there was a lovely pile of jeeps and banged fenders. A very battered and tired Frenzy stumbled off to the side and waited for his lift.

Barricade carefully inched past the junk pile and opened the passenger door. To Frenzy's delight, there was another coffee cup in the cup holder. To his disappointment, it was decaf.

While Frenzy had been wreaking havoc on the army jeeps, Barricade had done a bit of research. He learned that McDonalds coffee had a ton of a substance called caffeine, which was a chemical that apparently made humans hyper as well. Downing ten big-sized cups of the stuff was probably not the smartest thing to do.

At least Frenzy had the human-termed 'sugar rush' outside on the road, and not in him.

Now to deal with the rat for leaving trash in his backseat.

----------------------

A/N: I know Frenzy and sugar/caffeine is a popular theme here. This is just my take on it.


	7. Oblivious Bait

Chapter Seven

Oblivious Bait

It was late at night when the rumbling truck came to a full stop in the residential neighborhood in the California town of Tranquility. Somewhere a dog began barking. A rattling could then be heard as the dog began straining on its chain.

Optimus Prime finally turned off the external light and waited. For several days now a pair of unfamiliar humans had been persistently following him, all the way from Mission City to here. He had tried many tactics of eluding them, including hiding among other trucks and attempting to lose them on the highway, but nothing had worked so far. They didn't seem to want to quit. Humans were apparently very stubborn by nature.

Perhaps humans and Cybertronians weren't as different as he had originally thought.

He heard it before he saw it. A flashy, neon-orange Porsche crept around the corner and then parked at the end of the street. A medium-sized human and a short human got out of the vehicle and walked over to him.

Using his sensors, Optimus carefully determined the mood of the approaching humans, trying to discern their intentions. The short one was completely calm, but the other was what the humans would call a 'nervous wreck'. His eyes were shifting around, he was wringing his shirt hem in his hands, and overall acting very jittery, jumping at every crunch they made while walking on dry twigs and branches.

His friend had had enough. "Jack! Will you _please_ calm down?" he hissed, causing his partner – Jack – to jump and yelp at the sound of his voice. "We aren't doing anything wrong! We're just giving the boss back his truck."

"Yeah, but I could've sworn I crashed it into a ditch… and there weren't flames on the side either last time." Jack said slowly, voice still shaking.

There was a momentary silence. "Call the boss. The point is we found a truck that fits his qualifications," the short one said. "We don't have to tell him it's not the original. Plus, you were drunk when you lost the truck, remember."

"You do that. Max would never believe me if I said I found the truck. _I'll_ make sure that there's nobody inside the truck." Jack corrected. "Tell him you helped me find the truck okay?"

"Whatever." Optimus heard the short one mutter to himself as he headed back to the Porsche, presumably to get the 'boss' on the phone.

Jack peered into the cab, using a flashlight to look around the cab. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he leaped down from where he had been standing. He paced in front of Optimus, his anxiety levels skyrocketing as time wore on.

"Okay we got lucky. The boss was on his way to the headquarters in L.A. from a business meeting in Santa Rosa. He's willing to make a detour to get the truck back," the short human said, tucking the cell phone into his back pants pocket. "He's gonna be here in one hour."

"Good. One hour to work on our alibi. It'd be better to have a solid, logical, _rehearsed_ story than a wimpy, improvised excuse." Jack said, nervously wringing his hands.

Optimus suppressed a sigh and decided to wait this one out. He had learned very quickly that one must have an extreme amount of patience when dealing with humans. One example was their language. It left plenty of room for misinterpretation, and it took the humans a while for to understand particular concepts, such as questions with no real answers. Then he reverted his attention back to the pair before him.

From what he was able to learn from these two, humans also had a dark side to their societies other than what was seen every day. Jack and his short friend, named Larry, were part of a group of humans called a 'gang'. This 'gang' apparently lived on the 'other side of the law', as human law enforcement officers called it. In other words, the gang dealt in the illegal activities that were available to them. Jack had the apparent misfortune of using and then completely wrecking the leader's personal 18-wheeler, and then claimed he lost it. In retaliation, the leader put a massive bounty on Jack's head, and Jack was rather adamant about returning the truck. Jack was fortunate in the sense that the leader was unaware of the fact that the original truck was actually destroyed.

Optimus prepared to contact Ironhide in case he needed immediate backup.

Soon, a sleek, black Rolls-Royce pulled up to them. Already Jack had frozen in his place and was visibly shaking. Larry was now anxious due to the fact he was about to tell an obvious lie to his master. The two of them put on what the humans called a 'brave face' and prepared to speak with their master.

Optimus admittedly was expecting someone a little more taller and dominant-looking from the exaggerated descriptions of him from Jack. In reality, Maxwell Cornipicus was a short, stout human with slicked-back hair and a permanent scowl etched onto his facial features. He glowered at the two original humans.

As Jack and Larry began to spill their story, Optimus became suddenly aware of multiple human presences behind him and on his side that was closest to the curb and darkness. His sensors revealed that all the humans were heavily-armed and were creeping towards the trio, careful to stay out of the light provided by the Rolls-Royce's headlights and the flashlights. There were also humans on the other side of the road and inside the jeep that had snuck up to them while the discussion was taking place. Each human was on full alert, prepared to react at a moment's notice.

Suddenly a siren ripped through the silence of the night and lights everywhere flicked on. Police cruisers came around the corner as the humans that were previously hiding leaped out of their hiding places and tackled Jack, Larry, and Max. It took about seven other humans to fully bring Max down, and they placed links of thick metal around the criminals' wrists, all the while ignoring the pleas of mercy from Jack.

"You are under arrest! Put your hands up above your head and face the truck!" a human from the jeep announced through a megaphone. The jeep's side was labeled 'SWAT TEAM', and more black-clothed humans were coming out from its back. Optimus winced when the three criminals were slammed against his side and the police began checking them for weapons while a fourth officer read them the Miranda Rights, a list of rights that the American Constitution apparently granted to them.

Yes, this was something Ironhide might have wanted to see.

---------------

FBI Special Agent Peter Sadusky watched with grim satisfaction as the LA crime boss Maxwell 'Max' Cornipicus was hauled away and thrown into a FBI van. They had been hunting Max down for months ever since the crime spree happened in the major city in California. They finally got a break when one of Max's lackeys, 'Lucky' Jack, had accidentally driven the prized 18-wheeler into a ditch and made a run for it. The FBI quickly found an extremely similar 18-wheeler on the highway a few days after the Mission City fiasco, and tailed it, hoping to 'borrow' it for an operation to draw Max out. Just imagine their luck when they found Lucky Jack and Larry following it too for a similar purpose.

"Sir, what do we do with the truck?" asked one of the agents working with him.

Sadusky looked over the front, noting the lack of license plates. Then he spotted a special symbol on the front grille, usually where the manufacturer's logo went. He knew that symbol; the Secretary of Defense had sent out an email to FBI department heads, saying that any vehicles with that symbol were under government jurisdiction were to be left alone.

"Leave it be," he finally said. "I'll contact Keller to tell the owner we said thanks."

As the truck left, Sadusky swore that the vehicle honked in response to his earlier comment… even though he was pretty sure there was no driver.

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A/N: Here we go. Although I still have no Internet, I was at a friend's and decided to get this up. By the way, does anybody remember when and where in the movie Optimus got the scan for his truck form? ;-)


	8. Chicken

Chapter Eight

Chicken

"_Ooof!"_

Sam stumbled backwards onto the ground as Trent DeMarco advanced on him. Sam was slowly beginning to realize that paying a freshman to publicly humiliate Trent was a bad idea, despite the fact it was Miles who originally came up with the idea. Miles unfortunately didn't take in the possibility that the freshman would squeal when Trent tortured the poor kid for information, information that would lead Trent back to Sam and Miles.

Trent towered over Sam, blocking the sun from Sam's views. "I swear." Trent hissed, "I swear that you are _begging _me to kill you. First, you steal my girlfriend, then you dump bird food all over me, and _then_ you purposely spilled ice cream on the floor at the grocery _just_ to see me slip, and then finally, to top it all off, you try to publicly embarrass me in front of the _entire _senior class." Trent rolled up his sleeves, keeping pace with Sam as he scrambled to stay out of Trent's reach. Sam could vaguely see Trent's cronies

"Actually, the ice cream and the bird feed were an accident," Sam muttered, but suspected that it didn't really matter when Trent was involved…

"Trent, leave him alone! You already punished the freshman and Sam gets the message. So back off!" Mikaela snapped, approaching the boys with Miles close behind. She pulled Sam to his feet and said, "Come on, let's go. Trent was never mature to begin with, so why should we expect him to be mature now?"

"Mature? _I'm_ not the one who paid a freshman to pull somebody's pants down in the school cafeteria!" Trent snapped, shoving Miles roughly so he could easily get to Sam.

"Well, you're being immature right now." Mikaela snapped back. "Now go away."

"What does Witwicky have that _I_ don't?"

"For starters, Sam has a hot girlfriend, a nice sports car, and a lot more guts." Miles piped up from behind them. "Plus, he also has a second car which happens to be a bigger truck than yours."

Both Sam and Mikaela turned and Sam could only gape in terror as Trent first towered over Miles, and then slowly advanced on Sam. He towered over Sam, clenching and un-clenching his fists. "You think you're better than me… _don't _you?" he hissed, making Sam get that smallish feeling he always got when standing right next to Optimus Prime.

It was then when Sam remembered what truck Miles was talking about. A few days ago, Ironhide had arrived to the Witwicky driveway, saying that the Lennox family was heading to a relative's house for a couple of days. Due to Annabelle's ability to easily get carsick, Ironhide had been presented with the opportunity of staying behind, and had selected that option. Sam had been forced to lie to his parents and say that he was just watching a friend's truck for a few days.

Sam was screwed and he knew it.

"Nope, I know…" he began, voice high and squeaky due to his terror. He was planning to deny the accusation

"He's better than you." Miles interrupted, helpfully filling in the blank.

"I could just knock your lights out here and now." Trent snarled, arm going back. Sam closed his eyes and braced for the punch.

"Trent, you're all talk and no action." Miles interrupted again, slipping between Trent and Sam. Sam breathed a sigh of relief as Trent's arm came back down.

"You want to settle this the _right_ way?" Trent snarled.

"Miles, you don't want to do this _his _way." Mikaela warned, and Sam enthusiastically supported her by nodding mutely in a vigorous manner.

"Yeah, we'll do this _your _way." Miles said, accepting the challenge.

Trent nodded grimly. "All right. Do you know where the road that goes to Doyle is?" he demanded. When Miles nodded, he said, "Meet me at the junction near the railroad tracks tonight at eleven. Winner gets Banes." As he turned to leave, he paused, turned, and said, "Oh, and Witwicky? Don't forget to bring your truck." With that, the three of them watched Trent leave and join his buddies.

"What did you just get me into?" Sam demanded.

"I dunno. I figured if you survived whatever he's got, he'd stop bothering us." Miles said, shrugging as if that would explain everything.

"If? _If?"_ Mikaela shrieked, waving her arms around in anger. "God, forget about you being killed, but your 'friend' is going to be pissed when he finds out _exactly_ what truck you're going to be using to play 'Chicken'!"

"_That's_ how he settles grudges?" Sam asked. When she nodded, he moaned, "I'll make sure to have you mentioned in the eulogy at my funeral, Miles."

--------------

Crickets chirped as a black GMC truck silently trundled along the road that led to the railroads. Sam was holding the steering wheel in a death grip, still shaking. Mikaela was stony-faced in the passenger seat while Miles hummed a tune in the backseat. Not wanting to wake up Ironhide, Mikaela finally told Miles to please kindly shut up. Then she settled back in the seat, knowing she reacted more out of nerves than annoyance.

"Forget that we're doing this without permission. We are so doomed if Ironhide gets so much as a scratch on him and he wakes up before we get him back to your place," she whispered, rubbing her arms nervously.

"If Trent doesn't kill us, then Ironhide will. If he doesn't, then we'll have to run from Ratchet." Sam agreed, thoughts of death and gloom clouding up his thoughts.

"No," Mikaela disagreed. "Since we altered Ironhide's gasoline intake a little just to keep him quiet is enough for him to hunt us down later."

"So who would you rather prefer?" Sam asked, glancing at her briefly.

They both thought for a moment, and then they both said, "Ironhide," at the same time. "At least he would make it quick and painless." Sam remarked.

They were all silent when they pulled up to the junction where Trent and a few of his cronies were waiting, the Escalade gleaming in the moonlight. Mikaela, having explained the rules to Sam on the way there, slipped out of the truck after lightly kissing Sam on the cheek, wishing him luck. Miles was ashen-faced as he too got out of the truck and moved off to the side beside Mikaela.

Nobody saw the keys get ejected from the ignition.

Sweating, Sam closed the car door and absently eased on the gas, too distracted to realize the truck was moving under its own power. He was thinking about what kind of story Trent would tell Mrs. Witwicky after tonight if any.

The railroad tracks were the dividing line between the two combatants. Sam could faintly see Trent and the Escalade on the opposite side, fired up and ready to go. He kept an eye on the digital clock and on a burly teen standing nearby on the track holding a white cloth in his hand. Three… two… one… _go! _The white cloth fluttered to the ground.

Sam panicked at the last minute, and scrambled to get out of the truck before Trent crushed him, but to his dismay, he found that the door was locked. He yelped as the GMC suddenly accelerated and kept a straight course for the oncoming Escalade. He didn't care about his 'manly pride'; he just wanted to live to see Mojo again!

He tried turning the steering wheel to pull out at the last minute, but the truck was having none of that. Sam covered his face and braced for the impact, wishing that Ironhide was awake and not knocked out for this. Ironhide would probably get them out of the jam.

There was a squeal of tires, and Sam looked up, expecting to see angels. Instead he was staring back at his starting point, the truck having done a 180-degree turn on its own. Trent's Escalade had the back end sticking up out of a ditch that bordered the farther side of the railroad tracks. Miles was whooping in delight as Mikaela sassed a few of Trent's buddies, who were just standing there, flabbergasted at the language she was apparently using and the fact that Trent _lost_.

The black GMC trundled slowly under its own power back to where Mikaela and Miles were waiting.

"Dude that was super awesome! Trent practically freaked out when you didn't turn away!" Miles cheered, climbing into the backseat.

"Please tell me we won't do that again." Mikaela whispered a while later when Miles was fast asleep.

"Promise." Sam assured her. They looked in the back at Miles, and Sam muttered, "I'll take Sleeping Beauty to my place."

"Not a word to Ironhide." Mikaela whispered.

Sam nodded.

--------------

A little while later, Ironhide finally relaxed when he saw the light in Sam's bedroom go out. He himself was still cooling down. He checked himself over for any damage; Ratchet could become rather frightful and dangerous when he suspected that his patients were getting banged up while they were up to no good. He supposed he could feign ignorance about this night's escapade, it had been rather entertaining that he could amuse himself and get some kind of vengeance from the DeMarco kid that Bumblebee kept complaining about at the same time.

Ironhide wondered, how exactly did humans upload videos onto the World Wide Web? He had a delightfully wonderful, entertaining, high-quality video of a cranky human adolescent driving straight into a ditch by the railroad tracks.

--------------

A/N: I hope everybody is having a restful break. I got the idea for this from the movie _Footloose._


	9. Break Ups

Chapter Nine

Break-Ups

"…and I told him to scram and never come back," Alexis was saying as she closed the refrigerator door in the kitchen of the military base, cell phone tucked in between her ear and shoulder. She made a noise of agreement over the phone as she opened the tub of chocolate frosting, which had been placed on the countertop. Reaching for a spoon, she finally said, "Well, I have to go; it may be nine in the morning in London, but it's midnight here… yes, I'm sure I'll be fine. Don't worry about me… okay enjoy the rest of your trip. Bye."

Alexis sighed, tossed the phone, and watched it skitter across the countertop and fall off the other side. She took the spoon and began digging into the frosting tub.

"What are you doing?"

Starscream refused to let the female before him intimidate him. He had been standing here throughout her phone conversation, and she had been oblivious to his presence. Normally she would have spotted him much earlier. When she didn't immediately respond, he asked again, "What are you doing?"

"Eating," she said, waving the chocolate-covered spoon as if for emphasis.

He eyed her suspiciously. "Why?" he asked. "You can't possibly be hungry at this time of night."

"I'm eating 'cause I want to," she managed to say around a mouth full of thick frosting from the tub. She was going to get sick from eating that. Peering at him, her eyes narrowed as she asked, "What's it to you anyway?"

Now Starscream was wary. Alexis was acting a little more aggressive than usual, but he knew she wasn't intoxicated… at least he hoped she wasn't. He'd had a bad episode with a few drunken pilots whose drunken tempers were nowhere near Alexis's sober temper. Which reminded him… where was that human male that had been courting her for the last couple of months? The pair was inseparable, and was rarely seen out of each other's company. Now the male was nowhere to be found. Starscream wondered if Alexis was suffering from what the humans called 'separation anxiety', or if she was just feeling ill. "Are you feeling unwell?" he asked warily.

"Never better," she said, but her voice cracked at the end of her sentence. She avoided talking to him further by shoving another spoonful in her mouth while looking down at the counter.

Where was that accursed Autobot medic when Starscream needed him? Starscream may be a stranded soldier on an alien planet surrounded by potentially hostile territory, but he knew an ill human when he saw one. What made the situation even more frustrating was that only the Autobot medic knew how to treat humans, and Alexis would fight Starscream if he tried to bring her to a human doctor for examinations. "Where is the male that was courting you?" he asked.

He apparently missed some warning sign. Alexis's eyes flashed as her head snapped jerked up at the mention of aforementioned male. "Mention _him_ again and you can go join him in…" she snarled, but interrupted herself off in an effort to keep her temper under control. "He's around here somewhere, I'm sure," she said instead in a sudden pleasant voice. She was quiet for a moment, and then she said, "You know, it's kind of late, so I'm going to bed. G'night Screamer." With that, she slid off the stool she had been sitting on and made her way to the kitchen door, the tub of chocolate frosting in hand. Starscream winced when there was a _thunk_ as she walked into the doorframe by accident, dizzy from the lack of sleep. Muttering a few profanities under her breath, she stumbled out the door in a half-drunken manner. Just to be on the safe side, Starscream ran a scan on her; there were no intoxicants in her bloodstream, but her heartbeat was slightly faster than normal.

With humans, that could mean anything.

Starscream retracted his hologram and then settled in his jet form in the hangar. It was going to be another long night. He had difficulty recharging in the hangar because it was cold, too quiet, and a little lonesome. He would never admit that last fact to anyone though, he could easily wear it out like all the other nights in his long career as a soldier. The quilts on his exposed joints were an acknowledged plus to being inside the military base and not outside in the cold of space. He remembered when both he and Alexis had to explain the quilts to curious passersby; the issue was finally settled when Alexis vehemently informed onlookers that the quilts were _hers_ and that _she_ could do whatever she wanted to do with them. That was one of the few times he'd ever seen her lash out at someone other than him. He snorted; Megatron would _never _have stood for something like a femme stepping out of line. It was a wonder the base commander put up with attitudes like Alexis's.

He finally drifted off into recharge.

It had to have been at least three Earth hours when he suddenly came back online. He wondered what could have woken him up this time. Something had triggered his sensors, and he was rather wary after Alexis's change in temperament. He tensed, listening while slowly and quietly bringing his weaponry online. If it were an Autobot saboteur, well, there wouldn't be much left to identify him in the morning.

He heard a slight shuffling sound, and then heard faint breathing. His sensors then picked up Alexis's heartbeat near his wingtip, where the faint breathing was. Starscream relaxed; she was smart enough not to do something to him when he could easily finish her off.

He felt her light footsteps walk along the back and around the closed cockpit. Using sensors, he was able to determine that she was wrapped up in another one of her quilts… although she may have taken one of the ones that she let him borrow. One of his joints suddenly felt exposed. He settled down and waited for her to speak first.

"Starscream?" came the soft whisper from above.

He sighed, and activated his hologram so that he was standing right next to her. She didn't jump anymore; she was too used to him popping up out of nowhere. He hesitated, and then sat down next to her where she was wrapped in one of the quilts.

"Did I wake you up?" she asked.

No need to lie. "Yes."

She pulled her knees to her chest and stared ahead, her face vacant and devoid of any expressions. "Sorry," she finally mumbled. "You can go back to sleep. I'll put the quilt back before I go."

Starscream almost took her up on that offer… almost. What stopped him was that she wasn't her usual, sarcastic, independent, self right now. Instead she was more like a ghost of her former spirit, something new and unusual to him. Something was definitely wrong. "Alexis, tell me, what is wrong? Are you sick?"

Alexis snorted softly. "I swear Screamer, that's the first time you _ever _said my name without screaming in my face," she remarked, snuggling closer to him, although he doubted that she was aware of her actions. Finally, she admitted, "Dan broke up with me." She smiled sadly up at him and said, "No more annoying human males mussing up your armor plates."

Starscream was glad that it was dark so that she couldn't see his puzzled expression. He'd figured that Dan was here to stay for good and would continue to be a pain in the aft for a long time. Now that the male was gone for good, he wasn't sure to be relieved or angry. On one hand, there would be no more armor plates getting scratched up, but on the other hand, Alexis's temperament could permanently be subdued. Megatron may mind out-of-line femmes, but Starscream certainly didn't.

"Is it common for you females to react this way?" he asked, and then waited. That alone should be enough to aggravate her back into her old self.

"I dunno. Some women resort to violence, others just stand there crying, and some women do something about it instead of moping around. I'll do something about it when I get past the moping stage," Alexis said, sitting up straight again. "When he told me, I just told him to get out of here and never come back. He actually had the gall to take me out to dinner before telling me afterwards." Her sarcasm was returning now. "Turns out he had someone else for a while."

Human relationships were too complicated for Starscream to follow, way too complicated. He didn't even try to follow them, and he worked sometimes to deflect female attention from his hologram because he didn't want to be caught in their tangles. It all gave him a massive ache in the processor.

"There he is now," Alexis murmured, jerking Starscream from his thoughts. They watched as a tall male walked into the dark hangar, his frame silhouetted from the light in the doorway. Alexis remained stubbornly silent as the male called out her name several times, and then he finally turned and left. "I'll kill him later," she mumbled. "Then I'll be over it."

Another reason to stay out of a human relationship. Death was always a guarantee when it came time for separation.

"Hey Screamer?"

"What?"

"Thanks for listening." A stifled yawn, and then, "Okay, I really mean it this time. Night Screamer."

Starscream flicked the hologram off. He could feel her warm weight on his back, but it felt insignificant. He frowned as another thought occurred to him. "Alexis?"

"What?"

"Does this 'break-up' have anything to do with the eating earlier in the kitchen?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Eating is another post-breakup activity. It helps dull the pain, especially chocolate. I like chocolate; it's good stuff…" her voice trailed off as she fell asleep, curled up on his back.

This would be an interesting spectacle in the morning.

------------------

A/N: I know I took forever getting this up. I just couldn't decide what topic I wanted Chapter 9 to be because I had about three separate ideas. Sorry if Starscream is a little OOC, break-up details are inaccurate, and anything else that seems off. Let me know if you see something and I'll fix it. Thanks!


	10. Another Day Another Try

Chapter Ten

Another Day, Another Try

He was surrounded.

The thick crowd of humans surged around him, parting only to allow him room to past. Barricade felt as though he was in a giant bubble, with the humans on the edge and only sounds permeating the invisible cover. Thick red, blue, and white streamers flowed through the sky around him in a disorienting fashion, and balloons floated in his face. Little pieces of paper the humans called 'confetti' floated down in lazy circles from the buildings on either side of him, decorated in the same three colors as the streamers.

Barricade was tempted to turn around and head for the safety of the countryside, but Starscream would have his hide if he did that and messed their plan up. The jet was finally taking the time to haul his own chassis out of the Nevada desert to help pull off the operation this time. In fact, Starscream was still seething from the previous failure to eliminate the human leader. It forced them to postpone other plans that involved the death of the leader.

Barricade snorted at the memory; the assassination attempt at Mission City would have worked if the dratted Autobot Ironhide hadn't come barreling out of a nearby parking lot and rammed him in the side, throwing him off course from the presidential motorcade. Then Ironhide had decided to continue the chase from earlier that day and tricked Barricade into going onto a roadway the humans called 'Devil's Run'. The chase had ended with more than just a fender bender for Barricade.

Then the media pinned the blame of the incident onto three humans, one male and two females.

Shielded by the heavily tinted windows of the police vehicle, Frenzy watched the passing humans with disinterest. Both Barricade and Starscream had promised him a lot of chaos and destruction in exchange for his cooperation, but so far neither promise had come true. He restlessly moved from the driver's side to the passenger side, as if hoping for a change of scenery. More humans. Frenzy moaned and ducked underneath the dashboard on the passenger side. He was surrounded by the insects… _there were so many!_

Barricade carefully powered down his electronic signature to creep by the Autobot leader, Optimus Prime, who was in his truck form near an elaborately decorated stage. The stage had been set up right in front of the Los Angeles City Hall, and a few humans scurried around it, checking electronics and other small details. Humans swarmed and packed themselves in front of the stage, causing Barricade to wish again that he could flee for the countryside, where the numbers of humans weren't so large.

The next two Autobots to creep by were Ironhide and Ratchet, also in vehicle form. Barricade vaguely recognized the two humans with them, LadiesMan217 and the female that seemed to follow him around. He tried to take small comfort from the fact that all they would see was another LAPD security vehicle, not a disguised Decepticon trying to sneak past.

Barricade finally angled himself towards the stage in the direction of where the humans were setting up the podium. Starscream was somewhere outside the city, timing his arrival so that the Autobots would be sufficiently distracted while Barricade demolished the stage… during the human leader's speech.

"Officer?"

There was a loud rapping sound on the driver's door. Frenzy flinched, and muttered some human profanity while Barricade's hologram flickered into existence. "Yes?" Barricade answered, rolling the window down while trying to regain control of his irritation.

A female peered into the car. She seemed rather peeved that he hadn't automatically responded. "There is a yellow Camaro that banged up my brand-new Ferrari and the driver said it was _my_ fault, and I told him that I was allowed to park there and…" she prattled on and Barricade tuned her out. He had better things to do than worry about a human's precious car. He just hoped the Autobot scout put a good dent in it.

"I think that teenager knows the driver. Talk to him," Barricade said lazily, gesturing to LadiesMan217 near the yellow search-and-rescue vehicle. "Now go away. I'm working." With that, he rolled the window back up again, and he heard the woman mutter something about useless law enforcement before the window snapped shut and the hologram flickered out of view. Frenzy of course was still snickering and mimicking the female's whiny voice, and Barricade mulled over the possibility of throwing his old comrade out of the car itself and leaving Frenzy to fend off the humans. The idea had merit.

"_**Barricade, what is going on?" **_Starscream demanded over the secure link. Barricade personally thought Starscream needed to learn a little patience.

"Nothing much. I'm right next to the Autobot medic and weapons specialist, and the humans are still getting on the stage. Oh, and Frenzy is getting bored," Barricade reported, watching as several dressed-up humans got up onto the stage. Thanks to Frenzy's tinkering, Barricade was cut off from the World Wide Web, and so therefore he didn't know what the human leader looked like. He was relying on Starscream's entrance to know when to attack. Timing was everything.

There was a hiss over the link, and then silence. Barricade knew Starscream had signed off, and wondered again why he was in a rush.

Finally, _finally,_ the humans began the ceremony.

After the long introductions of upcoming speakers, through which Barricade scanned the crowd for any potential threats, the first speaker came to the podium and began speaking about something related to Mission City and expected recovery.

How the humans tolerated these speeches was beyond Barricade. Most of them were paying strict attention while others were still snapping photographs with their little devices. Only the young humans displayed signs of boredom. Around the ninth speaker, one of young humans even had the audacity to put sticky, cream-coated fingers on his side, leaving streaks on the door.

Ugh.

A faint whine in the air suddenly caught his attention as another speaker came forward. Using his sensors, he detected Starscream's rapidly approaching energy signature. It was time. He gunned the engine a little, just to be ready. Frenzy eagerly leapt onto the dashboard to watch.

_Slag._

He forgot that he was right next to Ironhide, who was rumored to have extra-sensitive audio receptors. Barricade mentally cringed when he heard Ironhide's engine start in response to his.

The stupid humans of course thought that Starscream dive-bombing them was just a part of the event, an attraction to alleviate the boredom of listening to speakers drone on and on about something that didn't concern them.

"_**Barricade, kill the human leader NOW!"**_

Barricade winced as Starscream's shrill voice cut through the interior. The humans in front of him panicked when it became apparent that Starscream wasn't going to pull out of his dive, and became even more terrified when Barricade revved the engine, aiming for a quick shot to the podium.

The police Decepticon shot forward in a similar fashion to bullet from a gun. People screamed as the car nearly ran a few stragglers over. Barricade heard a grinding of gears behind him as Ironhide transformed behind him, and Starscream let out a shriek as he pulled sharply from the dive because of the cannon that was aimed directly in his face.

Barricade got the chance to see his victim, standing there as if rooted to the spot. Then he plowed into the stage directly underneath the human, wood and brick flying into the air. He felt a rattling sensation as he plowed up the stairs of the City Hall. Nope, stairs wasn't his thing.

The screams seemed to have intensified as Barricade backed up out of the wreckage. Frenzy was going haywire inside, and it hurt Barricade a bit to have something small and metallic rattling around in his interior.

Suddenly Barricade felt himself being lifted from behind, and immediately transformed to escape. He had to twist himself out of Ironhide's grip, and fell to the ground, smashing the entire front of City Hall. Getting a little nervous, Barricade ran a quick assessment of the situation.

The Autobots had transformed as well, and the humans stupid enough to stay and watch were gaping at the spectacle. The Autobot leader was challenging Starscream, who was still swooping down from the sky. Both Ironhide and the scout were attempting to cage him in, and the medic was nowhere to be seen, as well as the humans that accompanied them. Frenzy was also missing.

Snarling, Barricade charged at the scout and managed to shove him towards Ironhide, distracting the weapons specialist. Then he charged the leader just as Starscream decided to do the same thing.

They needed to coordinate a little better.

As if sensing their plan, Optimus Prime had the common sense to get out of the way of both Decepticons. A loud _crash_ echoed for blocks as the two Decepticons collided into each other, and then a second crash was heard as they both fell back onto the ground.

Starscream didn't move from his position on the ground for a few seconds; he was still in his jet form and Barricade guessed that he must have taken the brunt of the attack. To make things worse, some of the human spectators were howling in laughter. They only became quiet when Starscream angrily fired a missile in their direction.

"_**Retreat."**_ Starscream choked out over the link, and took off for the skies, narrowly missing Ironhide's attack. Barricade winced as he watched his comrade nearly collide with a Goodyear blimp that had arrived to catch the confrontation on camera. Barricade fired at the scout who had attempted to sneak up from behind, but was immediately seized and rendered immobile from behind.

It was the Autobot medic who had arrived at some point. He held Barricade while the other three Autobots surrounded him. Barricade wondered briefly where Frenzy had gone off too; now would be a good time to make himself useful.

"You know Barricade, you had been so quiet for the last couple of months that we thought you had left Earth with Starscream. I had my suspicions when I saw you in Mission City, but the humans were convinced that you were an ordinary police officer," Ironhide remarked, approaching the Decepticon with his cannons drawn. Barricade growled when he saw the smirk on his enemy's faceplates. "Oh well, I guess now is the time to join your leader," Ironhide said, powering up both cannons.

With a high-pitched shriek, Frenzy launched himself from his hiding spot and climbed up the medic's back, tearing out random cables in the process. Caught off guard, the medic let Barricade go, and the giant Decepticon swung a punch at Ironhide, sending the weapons specialist into the building across the street, spraying rubble onto the ground and crowd below. Barricade instantly transformed, and allowed Frenzy to climb in. Then he tore out of the city, tires squealing.

It was slowly getting dark outside. He didn't stop until he arrived to a semi-quiet place the humans called 'Pasadena'. Barricade limped into a darkened alleyway to nurse his physical and pride injuries. Frenzy climbed out, chattering to himself as he checked over the extent of the damage. Barricade was missing two doors, had scraped paint, and bent fenders and bumpers. All in all, Barricade felt as though he had just gone down Devil's Run again.

"B…B… Barricade. Look. Human leader never in city. Human leader back home in… _White House_" Frenzy chattered, gesturing to the TV screens in a electronics store directly across the street from Barricade. "We got leader's second-in-c…command."

Barricade kept his dark thoughts to himself as he focused his receptors on the TVs, just to catch the story. The anchorwoman's voice flooded his audio receptors, saying:

"…_and the vice president was the victim of a terrorist attack just this afternoon. He was checked into the Harrington Memorial Hospital this afternoon and is expected to recover and live. According to official spokesperson for the government, Tom Banachek, the attackers are very same who are responsible for the Mission City attacks a few months prior. There is an alert for a police cruiser with unknown license plates and LAPD identification…" _

Megatron would be mightily displeased to learn that his soldiers were incapable of getting the correct target. Again, Barricade was grateful that Megatron would never hear of these… _accidents._ Barricade liked being in one piece.

He attempted to contact Starscream. All he got was static, which meant that Starscream had invariably found another unlucky slagger to vent his anger out on. Barricade felt sorry for the little slagger… he wouldn't be surprised if it was the nosy female that listened in on the conversation between him and Starscream that one time.

-----------------

A/N: This particular incident is mentioned in Chapter 16 of Air Force One, just in not so much detail.


	11. Babysitting

Chapter Eleven

Babysitting

"Eeek!"

Sarah Lennox bit the inside of her cheek before she said, "It's okay sweetheart. Mommy will be home soon." She turned to the two teens with her and said, "Don't feed her anything with sugar; you'll never get her calmed down for hours."

Mikaela Banes nodded while Sam Witwicky smiled, clearly trying to hide his panic at having to watch a baby for several hours. Mikaela was the one with the experience, not him. Sarah smiled, turned back to her daughter, and kissed the top of Annabelle's head. "All right sweetie, Mommy will be back in couple of hours. Be a good girl okay?"

Annabelle just smiled her big grin that always won people over. "Unkle Ide!" she shrieked suddenly.

Sarah sighed, and then answered, "He'll be here soon sweetie." She turned to Sam and Mikaela and said, "Uncle Hide is her imaginary friend and something she and Will made up when I was out shopping a couple of months. Just be tolerant of it; 'Uncle Hide' has to do everything with her or she won't do it."

"Okay Mrs. Lennox. Don't worry, we've got it." Mikaela enthusiastically assured her. Sarah looked pained, and Bumblebee wondered if she was suffering from what the humans called 'separation anxiety'. It had been Will who recommended Mikaela as a babysitter (although why humans called it that when there was no sitting involved was beyond Bumblebee) and Sarah had been reluctant to entrust her only offspring to two virtual strangers, one with almost no previous experience.

Whatever the problem, Sarah just put on a smile, and said, "Thank you Mikaela for doing this on such short notice. Will and I will be out until ten or so, and the little missy here has to go to bed at eight, all right?"

At the mention of her nickname, 'the little missy' cooed and gave her babysitters and her mother a big grin.

"One thing: is uh, _Uncle Hide_ with us now?" Sam asked, feeling like an idiot for asking the question when the giant black GMC truck was sitting right there in the driveway in front of the yellow Camaro.

Sarah shrugged. "Who knows? Annie thinks that he's always here, but I never 'see' him, so just go with it," she said. "Now, all of the phone numbers are posted on the refrigerator, and Will and I will have our cell phones. Call if you need anything. Annabelle's dinner is in the refrigerator. Oh, if she plays with her finger-paints, don't let her near Will's truck. She painted all over it the last time, and even attempted to write 'Uncle Hide' on the side, but it came out as chicken-scratch. The truck had bright streaks all over it, but the strange thing is that Will was more amused than angry," Sarah told them. "But try not to let it happen okay?"

"Okay," Mikaela enthusiastically agreed, but Sam just whimpered.

"All right. Mommy loves you Annie, and will see you tomorrow if you behave okay?" Sarah said to her daughter, kissing Annabelle on the forehead. "Have fun you guys!" she called as she headed past the GMC, past the Camaro, to the family Toyota that Sam was sure wasn't a giant robot. Will waved from the driver's seat as his wife got in, and then they drove off to their destination.

Annabelle kept smiling and giggling as Mikaela carried her back into the house, Sam leading the way. Annabelle kept an eye on the two cars in the driveway, content to watch them until the house door suddenly closed, leaving the cars outside and them inside.

Looking back on the night, Bumblebee swore that was when the problems started.

Annabelle was quiet for a few seconds before she began wailing loudly in Mikaela's ear, startling the teenage girl. The baby squirmed in Mikeala's arms, crying for her mother, her father, and even 'Unkle Ide'. Mikaela immediately set to work trying to soothe the youngster while Sam wandered off to get some aspirin for an oncoming headache. Sam wished more than ever that Miles hadn't canceled on him; if he hadn't canceled, the two boys would be on their way to Las Vegas for a rock concert that was tomorrow evening. He paused in the bathroom, seeing an open window. He had an idea.

There was a faint _pop_, and Bumblebee's hologram appeared in the living room. At the sudden appearance of a stranger, Annabelle began screaming again, only louder. Mikaela scowled at Bumblebee; she had just calmed the baby down when Bumblebee had appeared. "Um, what is making that high-pitched sound? Ironhide went into recharge as the parents left and I don't want to wake him up again."

"The _baby_ is _crying_ because you scared her," Mikaela snapped, glaring at Bumblebee. "Where is Sam? God, that boy can be so _useless_ sometimes. I'm going to go find him. Here, take care of her while I'm gone." She placed a sniffling Annabelle in Bumblebee's arms before dashing off in the direction of the bathroom. Bumblebee suspected that he would be stuck watching the baby when he heard Mikaela scream, "SAM! GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW OR I'LL BANG YOU UP SO BAD THAT NOT EVEN RATCHET WILL BE ABLE TO FIX YOU UP!" Then he heard sounds of something climbing a wall and then silence, announcing Mikaela's departure from the house.

He was now stuck with a human protoform and had no idea what to do. He looked down into the baby's wide blue eyes, which immediately filled with tears. Bumblebee braced himself as the bawling began.

Okay, what to do. He'd read somewhere that human younglings cried when they wanted something, and would not stop until they had the desired object. He knew he could just wait until the baby screamed herself hoarse or until she fell asleep, but self-preservation said that if he wanted to keep his audio receptors intact, he should find the baby the object of her desire fast. Besides, if Ironhide were to be rudely woken up, he'd blame the scout, not the youngling.

He carefully walked to the kitchen, adjusting the baby so that she was in the proper position in his arms. He used his scanners to read the contents of the cabinets, looking for anything that resembled baby food. To his dismay, he found a whole cabinet full of jars labeled as such. He gingerly put Annabelle onto one arm while he opened the cabinet with his other arm. To his shock, as he did so, Annabelle jerked violently and slipped from his grip.

Bumblebee thanked Primus that his reflexes were good enough to catch the baby around the middle, which caused the screaming to increase in volume. He propped her up on the counter in the middle of the kitchen and then showed her the jars.

Annabelle's curiosity softened the screams to cries and then merciful silence. She sniffled as she reached for one of the jars, which Bumblebee pushed closer to her. She picked up the jar, and then gave him a huge grin.

Bumblebee was happy; he got something right.

The baby seemed to examine the jar before scowling again. In a fit of temper, she screamed and then threw the jar across the room, where it smashed against the wall. Baby food and glass oozed down the wall, and Bumblebee hoped it wouldn't stain. According to what Ironhide had observed in the past, Sarah was very protective of her home, and disliked anything that wrecked any component of it.

He groaned as he scooped the baby up from the counter; she had grabbed a jar in the process and was now waving it around in anger. Only Primus knew what she was going to do with it.

Bumblebee carried her into the living room and placed her down on Sarah's homemade activity quilt. Babies should be easy to distract; why should Annabelle be any different?

Annabelle once again quieted when she saw the toys on the floor. She squirmed on her stomach to get to another part of the quilt. Bumblebee relaxed when he saw that all he had to do now was watch her and make sure she stayed out of trouble.

Annabelle picked up a few toys and shook them, giggling whenever they made a ringing sound. She fumbled with another object before it fell to the ground out of her reach. Bumblebee's head jerked up when he heard the familiar sniffling sound. He quickly pushed the toy back into Annabelle's reach, and the sniffling stopped. Next thing he knew, the toy was sailing in the air and bounded off his holographic head.

Instead of crying Annabelle began giggling. She then pointed to the family room TV and shrieked, "Goah!"

Bumblebee ran through online English dictionaries to find the word, but none appeared. He could only frown as she pointed to the TV and shrieked, "Cuh Goah!"

Neither word was in any dictionary online.

Uh-oh, he had to find out what she wanted fast. The sniffling was coming back. "Cuh Goah!" she shrieked again.

He walked over to the TV and turned it on, and the sniffling stopped again. The two of them watched as a show called _Judge Judy_ came on. Bumblebee glanced at Annabelle. She was scowling again.

If he weren't so afraid of Ironhide, he'd ask what 'Cuh Goah' was so that she could get it. Mikaela or Sam might be able to figure it out, but he had no idea. The words made no sense… unless they were a part of a secret code.

He looked at the baby, whose frown was getting deeper as he took longer to figure it out. Nah, she wasn't that smart yet.

"Mah!" she shrieked again. "Cuh Goah and mah!" The sniffles came on faster than Bumblebee could anticipate and she began bawling once again, her toys and jar of baby food promptly forgotten.

Desperate, Bumblebee changed the channel. He knew the TV was the key, but to what he didn't know. He flipped through the channels, pausing for a few seconds to see if Annabelle quieted down. He began considering on trying ten more channels before waking up Ironhide.

On the eighth channel, there was an animated show in progress. Annabelle immediately stopped crying and paid strict attention to the screen. Relieved, Bumblebee backed away from the television and settled down to watch as well. He assumed that the show was engrossing enough that Annabelle wouldn't cause any mischief.

From the snippets of the show he caught and understood, Bumblebee realized that the main character was called 'Curious George', and Annabelle wasn't old enough to properly pronounce the term. 'Mah' must have been 'man', seeing as the main character's companion was a man dressed in yellow. How little kids found this all amusing was beyond him.

"Hee hee hah hah!"

Bumblebee jerked to find that Annabelle had grown bored of the TV and had squirmed her way to the front door, giggling. She soon started wailing when she realized that the door was not open for her.

_Well, if you wanted to go out in the first place, why didn't you say so?_ Bumblebee thought tiredly before remembering that humans were incapable of any kind of understandable speech when they were extremely young. He figured that the reason that Ironhide was cranky most of the day was that he had to spend cycles deciphering the child's needs.

He walked over to the front door and opened it for her. He wondered what she could be up to as she watched the baby food jar roll down the steps before half-crawling, half-dragging herself down the steps after it. Exhausted, he checked his internal chronometer. It was eight in the evening, Earth time. Sarah had said that eight was bedtime for the 'little missy', so he supposed that he would let Annabelle have a little fun before taking her back to bed.

"Uh!"

He looked to the baby, who was gesturing that he picked her up. She had made her way to Ironhide's side, and a quick scan of the older mech revealed that he was still in recharge. Bumblebee walked over and picked up Annabelle, who screamed when she realized that her jar was still on the ground. Sighing, Bumblebee picked that up too, and handed it to the girl. She scowled and handed it back.

This frustration of raising a child could be the answer as to why adult human females were generally crabby for a good percentage of the day. He balanced a quiet Annabelle in one arm while he easily opened the jar, assuming she was hungry. She hadn't eaten at all that evening, and it was important that humans were well fed before going to sleep.

Annabelle grinned and took the open jar from him, poking three chubby fingers into the jar. She twirled them around in the sticky mass, smiling the whole time. Bumblebee had no idea as to what she wanted to do.

He found out about a moment later.

With a loud squeal, she plastered her fingers against Ironhide's side, smearing the thick green mass all over the black paint. Bumblebee yelped and then pulled her away, which in turn caused her to start screaming at the top of her little lungs again. Bumblebee whimpered when he heard the truck sigh.

"Give her to me."

Bumblebee willingly passed the baby over to Ironhide's hologram, and carried the baby in the apparent correct way. Annabelle immediately quieted and snuggled into Ironhide's arms.

"Come on kid," he grumbled to Bumblebee, who obediently followed.

The two Autobots stayed at the Lennox house, even when Mikaela returned, flustered from chasing Sam all over the city. She apologized profusely, but allowed Ironhide to care for the baby. Bumblebee guessed that Will must have taught Ironhide a bit about caring for Annabelle, for she went to bed without a fuss.

At ten in the evening, the Lennox parents returned home. Both Autobots promptly vanished, and Mikaela received the pay from a grateful Sarah. Mikaela later explained to Will that Ironhide had to pitch in, and Will only found the whole thing entertaining. He also admitted that he hadn't told Sarah a thing, but planned to do so soon. "It'll be hard telling her even with Prime around to help," he grumbled.

"You'll be fine," Mikaela assured him.

They were driving home when Bumblebee asked, "Question."

"If it's a tutorial on babies, we're going to pass." Sam said, effectively cutting off the conversation.

Bumblebee wondered if human babies were an off-limits topic with human adolescents. He wondered why.

Humans were too complicated to understand.

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A/N: Curious George and all related media is the property of the appropriate owners.


	12. The Last Voluntary Theft

Chapter Twelve

The Last Voluntary Theft

It was approximately five thirty in the evening. The sun was still above the horizon, but behind the major apartment buildings. Luigi swung down from the apartment balcony and waited as his minions landed around him. They had just raided the home of Malcar, the other contender for power in the Mission City criminal underground. He tried to suppress a snicker; when Malcar woke up in the morning, the missing plasma screen TV was going to be the last of his concerns, seeing that his secret armory also went away without leave as well.

Luigi signaled to Ragno, who was waiting patiently in the apartment complex across the street. True to his name, Ragno used the bars of the fire escape to carefully scale the side of the building while holding a long sniper rifle across his back. In Luigi's opinion, it took true skill to pull a stunt like that off.

"_Capo,_ I hear of a big stir in the area. _Polizia_ everywhere… swarming to the desert," Ragno whispered. Luigi nodded… nighttime operations were okay because the police could be spotted and heard for miles, but daytime operations were trickier because the time increased the chance of witnesses, and police cruisers were harder to spot.

"Maybe Crowley is finally getting arrested. Maybe he'll send us a postcard from prison," another minion suggested hopefully. Several people snickered at his suggestion. Luigi grinned; nobody liked the penguin-suited security captain at the nearby, supposedly 'top-secret' military base.

"We will celebrate his ill fortune later. First, goods to the hideout, and then we move out again," Luigi said, grinning. He tossed a small black bag to Ragno, who swung the stolen goods up over his shoulder, the one that wasn't supporting the sniper rifle. Then Ragno darted away into the night, the other minions dispersing as was custom to prevent people from following the thieves.

Luigi himself darted towards the city outskirts. Thankfully, the terrorist attacks had spared the gang's ratty home in the abandoned junkyard. The attacks had also exposed a lot of stores, leaving them open for free pickings. Unfortunately, the same attacks that had benefitted Luigi and his people goods-wise also annihilated the gang's small fleet of vehicles. So he would have to replenish the vehicles somehow, and he wasn't exactly the most patient man when it came to purchasing vehicles.

Stealing was so much simpler because there was much less paperwork that way.

Luigi easily slipped into the afternoon crowd of people heading home for the day. Lucky them. They had a definite schedule. His job lasted around the clock, around the city, and around the law enforcement.

In other words, it was just another ordinary routine.

Luigi sighed. He would probably have to do an auto theft that night, just to spice things up for him and his men. Auto thefts required vigilance and common sense… especially since they accidentally stole General Stanton's Lexus for that one particular sting operation. She wouldn't have figured it out if the authorities hadn't snatched the vehicle from the gangs and identified the owner. Luigi shuddered; he had been thrown in prison for three hours on that one. He also owed Ragno for springing him out of that one.

He breathed in the clean air with delight as he walked towards the outskirts of the city. It was amazing how he was able to connect with ordinary people, and hide his criminal persona at the same time. Luigi easily scaled the iron-wire fence that wound around the junkyard, and walked calmly towards the hidden entrance.

"_Ragazzi!_ We're getting us some cars tonight!" he announced as he ducked underneath the scrapped car that served as the door. He grinned at the cheers from his men, and then called, "Raoul! What do we need?"

Raoul, a swarthy man who used to be a car dealer until the government busted him for accepting bribes, took out an electronic PDA and began checking through the current inventory compared to what they had before the terrorist attacks. "Hmmm… we are going to need a Lamborghini, a Ferrari, and a Fiat to clear our gambling debts with those rowdy bikers downtown, an eighteen-wheeler to lug the three vehicles to them, and a Lexus because I promised my girlfriend I would get her one as a wedding gift," Raoul reported. Ignoring the snickers from his teammates, he continued, "Other than that, we still have to replace everything damaged in the terrorist attacks."

"Signora Stanton threatened to have our hides as wall decorations if we stole her vehicle again… although it is a nice car," Luigi mused aloud, remembering the woman's furious expression. "That's too bad… we got along so well before."

"You also got along with anyone who paid enough," Raoul observed, ignoring his boss's cross expression.

Luigi jerked as his cell phone tittered, announcing a text message. As his minions bickered over what to get in the upcoming car raid, Luigi checked his phone, read the message, and tucked the phone away once he was done reading it. Then he allowed himself to interrupt the arguments that were in full swing among his minions.

"_Signori!_ We have a run in a few hours, but we can start collecting the vehicles we need for the debt first in the meantime," Luigi bellowed, silently thankful when the room became quiet. "Now, we will have to wait for the sixteenth annual car show to lift the sports cars, so I suppose we can get the eighteen-wheeler now. There are a few privately owned trucks in the vicinity, aiding in the clean up. Their owners will head in soon for their dinners, leaving the trucks unprotected… and that is when we will strike."

"Luigi, we have to be careful. There is one eighteen-wheeler under the protection of Signor Keller… military protection. We should avoid them… unless you want the _militare_ involved…" Ragno warned, slinking towards his boss on the ceiling. Luigi watched as his second-in-command flipped gracefully to the ground.

"What makes you say it's under special protection?" Luigi asked, interested.

Ragno straightened to his full height of six-and-a-half feet. "I know because I poked around during the day, and found that there was one particular eighteen wheeler that has no license plates," he said. "Signor Keller is not known for playing favorites, but he was spotted this morning speaking with the driver." Ragno turned his head slightly, and then said, "Signor Keller was acting rather odd actually this morning. Went from the private airport in Mission City to the hospital, and from there went to the desert."

"Maybe Captain Crowley finally committed that federal crime that we've been hoping for," a minion spoke up, earning laughter from his compatriots. Luigi grinned; none of them had good relations with anyone in the army base in the desert, especially the irate captain. This corner of the Southwest would be much more safer without Crowley.

Luigi glanced out the 'door' and saw that the sky had grown significantly darker. "_Ragazzi,_ if we want that truck, we need to get it now," he said. "We'll target the military one… just to show Keller that we are capable of such feats."

Delighted, his men filed out into the darkening junkyard. Ragno hesitated, and Luigi knew that the man was uneasy about going after the military vehicle. Ragno in fact hated doing anything that roused the military's anger because Ragno had been dodging the army for years now after playing a few commanders off each other. Those commanders were still alive, and half of them were still in power. Now Stanton hated him because he'd encouraged Luigi to play her and Simmons off each other.

"_Prossimo ora il mio fratello. Siamo migliori dei militari e riusciremo,"_ Luigi assured his comrade. Ragno finally relented and ducked outside as well.

The twilight air was cool against his face as he stepped outside into the dimly lit junkyard. His men were anxious, pacing like a pack of dogs eager to get on with the hunt. "The truck we want is blue with fire," Ragno said, slinging a sniper's rifle over his shoulder. "I think it was going to leave the city soon, so all we have to do is jump it."

Luigi raised an eyebrow. Stealing vehicles was easy, but jumping them while they were in motion was trickier. Ragno evidently did not want any witnesses to this. Plus, Luigi supposed that it could be a warm-up for the real event later that evening.

The men silently moved out to the edges of the junkyard, where a busy road ran past. As the night approached, the road would slowly become emptier and emptier. Luigi didn't have to give orders; the men knew their jobs well despite the fact they hadn't jumped a car in months. They spread out along the long fence so that they were away from the city entrance, and prepared for their cue.

A heavy rumble announced the presence of an oncoming vehicle, a truck from the sounds of it. The men assembled their positions, and Manny tensed… his job came first. The headlights soon came into view, and the man holding Manny knelt so that he would have maximum power when he threw the smaller man onto the side of the cab. He did that just as the headlights passed, and Manny landed in the space between the cab and trailer... although there seemed to be no trailer at the moment.

While Manny clung on for dear life, others were lunging for the truck. Ragno, on a high enough position to pull his leap off, leapt down from a stack of scrap cars and landed on the roof of the cab. Without hesitating, he jammed the muzzle of the rifle onto the roof of the cab, planning to open fire.

That was when Luigi realized that the truck was slowing down. "Careful boys! The tiger is angry!" he shouted, remembering the last time they had jumped a vehicle. Turned out the driver was an avid animal hunter, and had no qualms about attacking gangsters who were hassling his vehicle. This was a military truck… of course the driver would have weapons. Luigi needed to stay alive for the operation after this.

His men retreated, weapons drawn and trained on the driver's door as the truck came to a shuddering halt. Finally, it came to a stop, and just sat there with the headlights on. That made it difficult for Luigi to see if there was a driver or not. He glanced around, observed the desertedness of their surrounding environment, and then turned around to face the truck again. "There's no one around… Ragno! Open the door and haul the driver out!"

Ragno scooted to the edge of the cab and then dropped down to the ground. He grasped the door handle, and pulled. The door didn't budge. Frowning, Ragno tried again, but still with no success. Growling, he handed the rifle off to a nearby gangster, placed both feet on the metal step that boosted the passenger to the door, and pulled even harder. He even grunted a bit from the sheer effort.

Still nothing.

"Move aside weakling," Manny snapped, and Ragno relinquished the door handle before stepping off to the side to watch Manny. Meanwhile, Manny pulled out a paperclip as he approached the truck. Seeing that trying to open the door failed, he unfolded the clip and stuck one end into the door lock. Luigi made sure the other men kept their weapons trained on the cab as Manny worked away at the lock. Satisfied, Manny tossed the clip to Raoul, and then tried to pull on the handle.

_Pop!_

Manny hadn't been expecting it to be that easy, so he had exerted a large amount of force on the door. Unfortunately, the door chose that moment to come free, sending Manny backwards into Ragno and throwing the pair to the ground.

As the two men began swearing at each other, Luigi approached the open door, flanked by two of his minions. He wouldn't have cared too much if a military officer or a lowly civilian had been in the cab, but what really bugged him was that there was no driver to speak of.

"Uh, boss? I may have not lived in America long, but I think that there is supposed to be a driver in there," one of his minions carefully ventured from where he was standing near Ragno and Manny. The two combatants were sufficiently distracted for the time being, and Luigi knew he had to let them duke it out now rather later.

"I know," Luigi said, his suspicions growing as he carefully edged towards the empty cab. "Any thoughts?"

"Remote control? Prank? Military trap?" Raoul suggested, backing away from the car. He lowered his voice and whispered, " A vehicle possessed by Satan himself?"

There was a collective hiss and the men backed away from the possessed truck. Luigi began to wonder if there was another reason to keep the headlights on, a reason other than the fact it was slowly getting dark. "This truck is not possessed," he snapped at his men. "The driver is only playing with us, and is hiding." He turned towards the truck and yelled, "Show yourself coward! You will not leave until we have spoken with you!"

The truck seemed to sigh, and a deep voice rumbled, "Very well." Luigi only took one step back at the sudden sound; his men took five. To Luigi's surprise and curiosity, the metal plates on the cab suddenly began moving on their own accord.

Luigi was no stranger to giant mechanical items… in a previous life he had worked with giant monster trucks, in this life, he had nearly discovered the business end of a military F-22 Raptor weapon with an enraged pilot at the controls. But this… _thing_ made working with the giant monster trucks look like an easy cruise. A F-22 looked like a small friendly machine next to this monstrosity.

"May I please continue on my journey? I have, as the humans call it, a tight schedule to keep," the giant rumbled, looking down at Luigi.

"Yeah… sure…" Luigi stammered, shaking slightly. His minions had become extremely quiet. "Eh… sorry for the delay… we were just working to maintain the security of the city," he finished lamely, making up the excuse as he went along.

"Your personal security or the security of the people?" the giant politely asked, two small blue lights looking down at Luigi. The gangster leader assumed that those had to be the eyes.

For the first time in decades, Luigi was lost. Lying would only make him and his 'respectable' reputation look bad, but the truth was too exposing to the nature of the gang. Luigi was pretty sure it was impossible to take this thing out, just to guarantee silence to the police from this giant.

"Awkward," someone muttered loud enough for Luigi to hear, earning a few coughing fits and mutters of discomfort.

"Where are you headed my good friend?" Luigi asked, carefully avoiding the question while quelling the growing panic in his chest.

The giant paused, and then said, " A place far from here. That is why it is imperative to depart now."

"Then good luck on your travels my good friend," Luigi said, hoping that the giant would leave as peacefully as he had come. The giant seemed to sense that he was causing distress among the men, for he calmly folded back down into the cab that the men had worked so hard to break into. The men were careful to give the cab a big berth as the headlights flickered on again and the engine restarted. The men watched as the giant left, once again as unassuming as the surrounding desert.

"_Il mio dio,"_ Ragno breathed. "Definitely a military trap," he said, grinning. "Does Area 51 not deal with technological secrets and handling of extra-terrestrials?" he asked, glancing in the direction of the hidden military base, which was located on the opposite side of the city compared to the gang's hideout.

"If it was, we walked straight into it," Luigi growled. He checked the text message he'd received earlier that evening. "At least we still have a chance to retaliate against Crowley. He has arrested an assassin earlier today, and they are sending him via armed escort to Washington to await judgment," he said. No need to mention the fact that there was a benefactor who had alerted him to this development, and was paying him several hundred dollars to pull this job off.

Ragno grinned, catching onto his comrade's thinking. "We jump the armed escort, and pray that it is not a giant too," he said grinning.

Luigi nodded as he spotted approaching police cruisers. The targeted van was within the circle of cruisers, betraying the importance of the cargo. "Yes," he murmured nervously, thinking of the giant. "We pray that it isn't a giant in disguise." Then he tensed, ready to spring onto the armored van.

Months later, during the sixteenth annual car show, the police were prepared for Luigi's raid this time, unlike last year. Fortunately, neither Luigi nor his gang showed up to steal another car. This of course prompted the chief of police to wonder if the rumor that was swirling in the underworld, the one about the truck giant, did indeed have a grain of truth to it. Luigi meanwhile had made a private oath never to steal another vehicle again... he didn't know if there were other vehicles that could also turn into giant robots. As long as there was no driver, the vehicle would be safe from harm.

----------------

A/N: Wow, two months. Sorry about that guys... I was waiting for a little inspiration, and then it finally came. For anyone who is interested, this segment would have been happening during Chapter 31 of Air Force One.

**Translations:**

_Ragazzi: _Boys

_Capo:_ Boss

_Ragno: _Spider

_Prossimo ora il mio fratello. Siamo migliori dei militari e riusciremo: _Come now my brother. We are better than the military, and will succeed.


	13. Thunderstorms

Chapter Thirteen

Thunderstorms

NO TRESPASSING

"Are you sure about this?" one of the teens asked, peering at the ominous sign.

"Dude, I told you that I saw that Wickety kid come down here. Him and his flashy Camaro both. If we want the car, we got to get the boy, which means we've got to go down there," the other boy patiently explained, as though simple logic could solve anything.

"Yeah, but it says that the use of deadly force is authorized," the first boy said, pointing to the subscript on the sign. "So that means that Wickety will get shot before us."

A cold wind suddenly blew, and both boys jerked in surprise. It had been a record ninety degrees for the last few summer days. The weatherman had said a heat wave was in progress, but the boys guessed that a cold front was coming. "This is going to be the mother of all thunderstorms," the second boy finally said, remounting his bike. "C'mon dude, let's go. Sammy can get shot by the security guys."

"But what about the car?" his friend asked, hesitant to leave when a great prize lay not so far out of reach.

His friend shrugged. "You can get it… it's your skin after all," he said before pedaling away from the spot. The first boy looked back past the sign down at the dirt road that wound out of sight around the trees, and then got onto his bike to pedal home with his friend.

If they had stayed a few minutes longer, they would've suffered serious injuries as a yellow Camaro came up the dirt road at fifty miles per hour, smashing through the gate and making a sharp left onto the main road. A pack of barking Dobermans followed close behind, but stopped at the gate rather than continuing on.

Mikaela Banes nearly smacked Sam in the head for his actions, but was laughing anyway. Sam maintained an unnecessary death grip on the steering wheel and was laughing too, but Mikaela didn't know if it was genuine humor or leftover stress combined with dying adrenaline. The song _Bad Boys_ by Inner Circle was playing at a high volume on the radio as Bumblebee communicated his amusement. The three of them had been minding their own business when the two older teens approached Sam and tried to forcibly take the Camaro so they could go on an unplanned joyride. The trio had escaped, but the pursuers turned out to be particularly adept at bike riding, and were able to keep the yellow sports car in their sights. Bumblebee lost them at the last turn, but headed down a private road in an attempt to hide anyway. The boys had seen the car make the turn into the drive, but stopped at the entrance because of the 'No Trespassing' sign.

Assuming that they were safe for the time being, Bumblebee had stopped so they could calm down. But that was when Sam realized that they were at Old Man Marley's place, specifically in his flower garden. Bumblebee hadn't seen a need for alarm until Sam told him that Marley's temper made an angry Simmons look extremely tame. As it clicked however, Marley himself came out, waving his cane and yelling "You rotten kids!" As Bumblebee moved to escape, the dogs had been unleashed and chased the Camaro off the property. The flowerbeds unfortunately were destroyed beyond repair, and Marley had hurled curses after the retreating Camaro.

"We should be getting home. Miles is going to be over for a sleepover soon," Sam said, finally letting the steering wheel go.

"Aren't you guys too old for that sort of thing?" Mikaela asked, frowning.

Sam shrugged. "It's our way of reconnecting, especially since I was away during the entire Mission City thing," he said, placing his hands behind his head.

Bumblebee heard Mikaela mutter something negative about boys under her breath. He'd been on this planet long enough to know that calling her remark to attention was going to result in her fury being brought down on him.

When they finally arrived to Sam's house, Bumblebee was unable to wedge himself into the driveway because a bulky Toyota was already there. Miles was leaning against it, a huge grin on his face… a grin of triumph.

"Hey Bee, how about you go home with Mikaela tonight? Miles and I aren't going to be home for a while okay?" Sam suggested, and then opened the car door and climbed out.

"Come on, it won't be bad," Mikaela said as the Beatles' song 'Help!' began playing on the radio. "At least you'll get a garage to yourself and won't have to share with anything else."

"For the record, my parents' cars are not that bad! My dad has a sweet ride," Sam hissed as he pulled out his backpack from the backseat. "See you later Bee!"

Sam didn't see Mikaela roll her eyes at him as she climbed into the driver's seat. "Bonding time yeah right. More like 'mayhem and destruction' time," she grumbled as Bumblebee backed onto the main road and headed over to her home.

It was twilight when he finally arrived, and Mikaela got out and slipped into the car that was already in the garage so she could move it, providing room for Bumblebee. The Camaro slipped into the garage, settling in comfortably. Mikaela proved to be an accommodating hostess, attempting to make the garage more comfortable for Bumblebee to stay in. Then she vanished into her home for dinner, the evening human meal. Bumblebee eventually dozed off in the secure environment.

It had to have been the middle of the night when Bumblebee first suspected that something was terribly wrong. He had been deep in recharge when he got the odd feeling that something was amiss. So he jerked out of stasis and immediately scanned the surrounding area, mainly searching for Mikaela's heat signature. Sam would be devastated if something awful happened to his mate.

Mikaela was fine, even awake. But the house was seemingly devoid of all electronic signals, although Bumblebee could sense that there were still appliances in the dwelling.

A crack suddenly sounded through the air, closely followed by a boom overhead. A scan of the environment found that the air itself was electrically charged, which puzzled Bumblebee. Curious, he extended a probe forward out of the nearest wall of the garage, just to get a better sense of the environment outside. For some odd reason, he was getting a sense that he had done something similar but on another planet…

_Zzzzt!_

Bumblebee jerked violently as the small bolt of electricity connected with the probe. Ah yes, that was exactly what had happened the last time he had done a similar probing. He quickly redirected the electricity away from himself before it could fry further circuitry. Ratchet made it quite clear the last time this had happened that he was displeased by the scout's actions. Nothing on Bumblebee had been fried thankfully, but the deflected electricity had been intercepted by a rubber piping that passed by wood… which was burning. Panicking, Bumblebee scanned the garage, and found a half-full water bucket nearby. Dousing the small fire was tricky, but at least Bumblebee had gotten rid of it just before Mikaela entered the garage to check up on him.

When Mikaela did enter, all she found was a recharging Camaro that was sitting innocently right where she last saw him, a small patch of wood above her head tinged black.

Bumblebee wasn't the only Transformer affected by the storm. A few hundred miles to the southeast of Tranquility, Starscream was locked in a one-on-one battle for dominance with a pathetic male Air Force pilot who had badmouthed Starscream earlier that day. Starscream was just humoring the male and himself for now; he would take the lead and win right when it counted.

The day before, another squadron came to the same base where Starscream had taken refuge with the first squadron. Being a Friday night, the humans, especially the females, were committed to participating in the evening's entertainments. A male from the visiting squadron had made the error of challenging Starscream's personal authority in the base, sparking a heated argument between them. Instead of interfering and stopping the conflict, the female Alexis simply sat off to the side, watching and betting on the winner with her female companions. Finally she suggested an obstacle course slash race, a challenge both fighters were eager to compete in. So while Starscream dealt with the infuriating idiot, Alexis stayed in the base with her friends, keeping tabs on the race while engaging in other pointless pursuits at the same time.

Starscream smirked when he spotted that the other man was backing off, apparently surrendering early. The race was too easy, an insult to his full talents. He was too engaged in the competition to notice the changing weather patterns, but then again, it was the weather. Not even humans paid too much attention over the weather; they were already familiar with the weather patterns in the places where they lived.

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

Snarling, he opened his link. It was either Barricade complaining about something new or Alexis to help him cheat, which she had done four times already.

"_**Screamer?**_"

Alexis then. "What is it? The male is surrendering… this is insulting," he snapped, ending the sentence in a grumble.

"_**Yeah, he's the smart one. Anna says that there's a bad storm coming… I don't care how immune you are to Earth's climates. You're going to be the biggest lightning magnet for miles if you don't haul yourself in now. It's getting late anyway, so you have a limited time frame until the base commander sees that you're gone."**_

Starscream almost obeyed… until he realized that she could be trapping him. What if she had changed sides already and was aiding the other male? What if it really wasn't a surrender but more of an encouragement to lower his guard? Snarling, Starscream accelerated speed, fuming to himself that Alexis would even try such a stunt. He signed off.

Back at the base, Alexis stared at her cell phone in annoyance. "Idiot just hung up," she told Anna, another F-22 pilot who was spending the next two nights at the base. She shut her phone and put it back in her pocket, then examined her cards again.

Anna shrugged. "Sometimes with guys, you've got to let them learn the lesson for it to permanently stick," she said, peeking at her neighbor's hand. "Okay ladies, let's raise the stakes again."

Meanwhile, Starscream was now completely focused on winning. The competitor had dropped out of sight completely, and wasn't appearing on Starscream's scanners. This made the Decepticon edgy, and what made things worse was that the elements outside were affecting Starscream's scanners a bit. Since Earth technology was generally inferior to Transformer technology, it was accepted that the Earth tech was more susceptible to damage than Transformer tech. So Starscream knew that when the superior technology was beginning to suffer, the situation was getting bad.

_Crrrrrackkk!_

Starscream swore in his language as a jagged bolt of electricity appeared right nearby. He had been so focused on the race itself, that he had refused to heed what appeared to be a legitimate warning. Dark storm clouds were thick in the sky, and a scan of the elements showed that it was indeed going to be a nasty storm.

Alexis was probably enjoying herself now.

Seething, Starscream dodged another bolt, and descended rapidly to fly closer to the ground and possibly avoid the worst of the damage. It wasn't too long before the rains began, drenching him in seconds. That only worsened his mood.

A sharp clash and a sting from the wing revealed that he had taken a hit. The damage wasn't too extensive, and his internal systems began working immediately to redirect the electricity from the vital systems to places within where it would be harmlessly absorbed.

As he approached the hangars, he saw that a few crews were already closing the hangar doors. With a loud battle cry, he transformed mid-flight into his robot mode just as the crews turned to look at the loud noise.

The crews froze in their tracks for a few moments before they simply turned and ran back to the safety of the buildings. Seeing a robotic, red-eyed giant descending from the thundering heavens was generally not someone's idea of a nice fluffy dream.

Inside, Alexis was more focused on the new card game rather than on the rain outside or Starscream for that matter. Since the rains had started, the eight women were confined to the game room, going through several card games without actually playing… in Alexis's opinion, the women were talking more than playing. Which was fine really, because it sufficiently distracted her from other anxieties.

"…then we finally convinced the crew chief that the Coast Guard helicopter was actually a giant robot in disguise, so the flight crews steered clear of the thing for several weeks. Commander Henderson was _so_ mad at us when he figured out why the helicopter was in bad repair. We like to tease the crew chief about now, but he hates us so much because of it," Anna was saying, recounting a story of an incident that had taken place several weeks after Mission City.

Alexis laughed. "Giant robots. What will the tabloids think of next? Talking cars? Planes?" she asked, prompting more laughter at the thought of the audience-greedy magazines making up stories at the expense of the federal government in an attempt to draw in more readers.

Anna looked past Alexis and raised an eyebrow. "How about clearly pissed off boyfriends?" she asked, gesturing with her chin to a spot behind Alexis.

Alexis turned in her seat to face Starscream's hologram, which carried the appearance of being drenched. She pretended to give him a good look-over, and then asked, "Don't you know not to swim during storms?"

Anna snorted while Starscream scowled. Alexis took the hint and stood up. She tossed her last few barbecue potato chips, the substitute poker chips, and said, "I'm going to help Mr. Moody now. You can leave me out of the next round."

"Must you twist everything into a joke? Life for even you isn't that humorous," Starscream hissed as they walked down the hall to the hangar.

"I thought it was pretty funny when you came in drenched. Can't laugh at bit at life?" she asked picking up a few towels on the way. "You must be a mess in reality if you're willing to go through the trouble to project it."

He scowled, and she tapped him briefly on the nose, causing him to flinch back. "Loosen up a bit Screamer," she said, walking ahead of him. "You'd be amazed at how easier things are."

While Starscream was in his seemingly perpetual bad mood, the Autobot fifteen miles north of the Decepticon was for once in a good mood. While it was true that Ironhide had to share the Lennox garage with the silver minivan that Sarah used when traveling with Annabelle, he figured it was better than being outside in the downpour.

It wasn't the storm that pulled him out of recharge, nor the crack outside as the top of an old tree finally jack-knifed and fell to the ground. No, it was the high-pitched, terrified screaming of Annabelle three floors up and several rooms to the left that woke him up. Ironhide refused to admit this fact to even Will, but the Autobot had the child's sounds of distress memorized so that he would know instantly when she was upset. A search on the Internet, slower than usual because Ironhide was half-awake as the humans called it, revealed that it was merely the loud sounds and bright lights of the storm that had the child upset. A scan of the house found Will still in bed and Sarah was moving around, flustered and unsure what to do first. A scan of Will showed that the human was ill and therefore confined to the bed under threat from the wife.

Sighing to himself, Ironhide activated the holo-matter projector and he carefully opened the door that led from the garage to the living room. He had never been inside the Lennox home before, so he would have to rely on his sensors to get around.

The house itself was dark, all electricity gone. Ironhide was careful to walk across the living room without leaving telltale footprints behind for Sarah to find. Will even mentioned one time that Sarah had exiled him from the house just because he accidentally left muddy tracks on the carpet.

_Click._

Ironhide froze when the beam of light appeared out of nowhere and focused on him. He slowly turned his head to face the intruder.

It was Sarah, although it took Ironhide a few nanoclicks to even recognize her. Her hair was in severe disarray, and she looked angry to find him standing there. She wore only her nightgown and a white terrycloth bathrobe on top. In one hand she held the flashlight, and in the other hand held a half-full baby bottle.

Neither of them said anything, but Sarah put the bottle down on the nearest table and backed up to the fireplace. Ironhide watched with a faint sense of trepidation as she slowly reached for the fire poker and took it off its stand, holding like a weapon now.

Finally she spoke first. "I don't know who you are, but get… out… of… my… house," she growled, slowly switching the flashlight and the fire poker so she had the weapon in the right hand. "You have… five _seconds_ to get out of here and off this property before I call the police to arrest you," she snarled, slowly approaching.

Ironhide was careful not to let the female get the better of him; she was only defending her young and territory from what she perceived was a stranger. He still stepped back a bit to stay out of the range of the fire poker, and was careful not to say the smart remark he was thinking about. This situation called for diplomacy, not weaponry.

"I… am a friend of your husband's, who just arrived to see him about something very important," he said, inflicting his voice so that it sounded less of a lie and more of a truth.

Sarah didn't respond; her head jerked upstairs at the sound of a fresh wave of screaming. The intruder was more important than her young however at the moment, so she refocused on him and began to approach again. "Why come in the middle of the night in the middle of a storm? Why not call inst…" she said, stopping when she realized the foolishness of her words. She muttered something unintelligible, and then said, "Will isn't available right now, so you can just turn around and leave…"

"He introduced me to your daughter, Annabelle. She knows me as… _Uncle Hide_," Ironhide said, gritting his teeth on the last part. Once the nickname was out, there was going to be no denying its existence. Ironhide was secretly grateful that the monstrous Autobot twins Sideswipe and Sunstreaker weren't around to hear that… they would torment him for eons about the nickname.

He resisted the urge to shudder.

"Sarah?"

Both Sarah and Ironhide turned to see Will on the bottom steps, staring blearily at the tableaux before him, Sarah with the fire poker half-raised and Ironhide being cornered. There was a moment of silence, and then Will began chuckling in amusement. "Sorry Sarah, I forgot to mention he was coming," Will finally said, ending his laughter by coughing into his elbow for a few moments. "Annabelle loves him… been meaning to introduce you two for a while now."

Sarah looked as though she was going to murder him. "Why are you out of bed?" she asked, lowering the poker into a non-threatening position.

"Something to drink. My throat's killing me," Will explained. He glanced at Ironhide and said, "If you don't mind, will you calm Annie down? Sarah can take care of me for a few moments."

Sarah looked as though she was going to protest, but didn't say anything. She went back to the fireplace and put the poker back. She picked up the bottle and handed it to Ironhide. "If Will trusts you, then fine. But if you put one toe out of line, if I hear her crying even more than now, then I'm going to come run you off this property and then file a restraining order," she hissed, handing him the bottle after issuing the threat. As Ironhide walked up the stairs in the house, he wondered if it was possible for a Decepticon to take on the guise of a human. Sarah Lennox was the first in eons to instill some kind of fear, however small, into Ironhide, the proud Autobot weapons specialist.

He used the crying to track the girl down. Annabelle was crying and trying to hide under the little blanket in the crib in a vain attempt to block out the noise and lights. Ironhide, having seen both Sarah and Will hold the baby many times before, carefully pulled the blanket up and used it as a padding for Annabelle when he picked her up.

Ironhide felt awkward, standing there and making the soft nonsensical sounds that generally soothed human children. When Annabelle finally calmed down significantly, he offered the bottle that Sarah had prepared a few minutes ago. The baby latched onto it with strong devotion, making soft sucking sounds as she drank the liquid within. He turned his back to the window and angled her slightly so that she would not see the flashes of light. The blanket padding covered her ears, muffling the booms from the thunder.

He did not know how much time had passed before he heard the bottle clatter to the ground. Instead of picking it up, he turned around again to place Annabelle back in the crib. The storm had finally passed, leaving cloud wisps behind in the star-studded night sky. Annabelle's thumb was partially in her mouth when he put her back down onto the bed and then he placed the blanket over her.

Ironhide heard the fast-approaching footsteps of Sarah Lennox, and vanished from the room seconds before she opened the bedroom door. Then, now that all was quiet and peaceful again, he went back into recharge.

If Ironhide ever knew that he was in twenty-mile range of both 'missing' Decepticons, he would have left the Lennox home to first take down Starscream on his own, and then deal with Barricade. Or if he had known that Barricade was hiding out in his alt mode in a battered shed in someone's backyard in order to stay out of the rain so he could be dry, Ironhide might have gone for him first. But Ironhide didn't know any of that, so he stayed in quiet bliss at the Lennox home.

Not even the temptation of an Autobot with a lowered guard was enough to make Barricade consider leaving his rickety shelter. He was actually recharging while Frenzy tried to connect to the poor Internet reception on the laptop in the front seat. The shelter they were in spooked Frenzy a bit; there were bottles and vials full of liquids and unidentifiable organic objects on the long tables and shelves surrounding them. There was also an odd metallic apparatus on the nearest table that was surrounded completely by what appeared as a rubber sheet. A long copper rod was attached to the apparatus and extended upward to above the roof of the rickety shed. The entire scene reminded Frenzy too much of the Sector Seven labs underneath the Hoover Dam.

In fact, the apparatus looked like some kind of torture device for little Cybertronians such as himself.

Careful not to disturb the larger Decepticon, Frenzy clambered out of the open driver's window. He felt threatened by the apparatus, and had a driving need to eliminate it completely from existence. The thin wires extending all around it had to be the torturing and dismantling devices, while the glass globe at the bottom was undoubtedly the container for the pieces.

Frenzy cautiously approached it, wary of it suddenly coming to life and attacking him. The shed limited Barricade's movements since he had no desire to run from the humans again if he exposed himself. That meant that he was not going to leap to Frenzy's defense if the apparatus came to life and attacked Frenzy… recharge was more important than Frenzy at the moment.

Sometimes, Frenzy saw Barricade as an Earth animal called the tiger. Both could be lethal yet could be incredibly lazy at the same time. Whenever Barricade wasn't chauffeuring Frenzy around, he was being lazy, in Frenzy's opinion.

Frenzy began silently calculating the best way to start cutting the apparatus up.

Meanwhile, on the shed's roof, Dr. Bob Morrison was taking careful notes while his ten-year old niece Mira held the rubber-covered umbrella for him, keeping the water off of him and his notes. Then notes mainly centered around the weather conditions and the positions of his lightning-capturing instrument. His plan; capture the lightning and contain it within a glass bottle. Lightning was deadly power, and he wanted to hold it, to harness it. Morrison grinned to himself as he imagined himself accepting the coveted Nobel Prize for his work with lightning. His mind began turning wheels as he imagined harnessing the lightning and using it as an alternative energy source in the home or at the office. If the scruffy pirates in Mira's favorite movie _Stardust_ could harness the lightning, why couldn't he?

The lightning would hit the copper rod, travel down into the shed where he'd prepared the apparatus earlier that afternoon, dance around the coiled wires, and then eventually become trapped into the glass bulb he'd painstakingly prepared specially for this particular experiment.

"Uncle?"

"Not now Mira," he said, standing up and backing away slightly from the rod as the thunderclouds overhead began to unleash the torrential rains. "The lightning is about to begin."

"Uncle, why are there tire tracks on our lawn?" Mira asked, but her uncle ignored her.

"Ooohh I can't wait!" Dr. Morrison said eagerly, clapping his hands together. He moved over to the rubberized lawn chair that was sitting on top of the flat part of the shed roof and sat down, putting Mira on his lap so the pair of them could watch

In the shed, Frenzy was halfway through dismantling the torture apparatus. He was holding bunches of thin copper wires in his two claws, having disconnected the wires from the glass bulb. With one foot, he knocked the glass bulb to the ground, where it shattered near Barricade's back tire. Frenzy froze; if Barricade awoke now, there would be hell to pay, as the humans said it.

There was no reaction from the larger Decepticon.

Since there had been no reaction, Frenzy relaxed. A recharging Barricade meant that there was going to be a calmer Barricade when he came back online again.

Now it was time for the torturer to be destroyed.

At that exact moment, a long, jagged, several thousand-volt streak of pure energy struck the end of the copper rod. Dr. Morrison cheered as the surge of electrical power shot down the rod and vanished through the rubber-lined hole in the roof of the shed to the apparatus below.

Frenzy most certainly didn't see _that _one coming.

There was a brilliant white light in the shed and then a minor explosion as Frenzy was blown to pieces from the energy overload. By all laws of nature, Cybertronian or otherwise, Frenzy should have died right then and there. But he didn't. Instead, his body merely split into pieces and flew everywhere in the shed, smashing out of the glass windows and rattling against the tin roof of the shed. Unfortunately, one of the aforementioned glass windows included Barricade's window behind the driver's seat.

Dr. Morrison nearly fell off the roof when there was the sudden roar of a car engine underneath him. He panicked for a second, wondering if he had accidentally activated a machine that had previously been dead and had been sitting in storage. Then he nearly fell off again as a _police cruiser_ of all vehicles shot out of the shed as though suddenly someone had torched it, leaving a tangled mess of wires and metal pieces.

"Told you so," Mira said irritably to her uncle, who was still in a state of shock.

Barricade was probably an estimated ten miles from the human residence when he finally slowed down enough to regain his bearings. He had been recharging peacefully when an explosion near his audio receptors had jerked him back online and prompted him to flee, as was his customary reaction when an unknown explosion occurred too close to him for comfort. A quick internal scan revealed that only Frenzy's head was in the backseat, and was jabbering angrily at him.

Barricade kept his complaints to himself as he turned and headed back slowly to the cursed human residence to pick up the rest of the pieces of Frenzy. Maybe if he ever ran into one of the Autobots while on the road, he would trick Frenzy into chasing one of them, and then tuck tail himself and run, leaving Frenzy either on his own or with the Autobots.

When he got back to the human residence, he wished he didn't. The human male was doing an odd sort of movement on the rain swept lawn, a movement the Internet called, 'the victory dance'. Only the little female saw him creep towards the shed, and was about to say something to bring the male's attention back to Barricade. But Barricade ensured that she remained quiet by transforming into his robot mode while it was dark, so that she saw his natural form when the lightning came again. She ran into the house screaming at the top of her little lungs while the male continued dancing in the yard, oblivious to the fact that Barricade was picking up Frenzy's pieces and sneaking off again into the night.

The storm's progression across the land was one of those rare Earth beauties, or at least Optimus thought so. He and Ratchet were settled on a the side of a cliff overlooking a lone river and a vast expanse of desert beyond the river. They were shaded by a few trees nearby, and the stars twinkled overhead. The thunderstorm in question was on the horizon, a line of purple against the navy night sky. Every now and then there would be a line of pure white arcing down to the ground. While traveling around the towns in the southern California and Nevada regions, Optimus had heard the humans talking of the beauty of summer thunderstorms from a distance, and decided it was something he would have to view for himself. Ratchet had joined him as a chance to stretch and move around a bit. Now they were in their alt modes enjoying the cool night air and the view from the distance.

Optimus didn't need any scanners or other sensors other than his optics to tell that this was the Earth's own display of raw power. The humans had developed extensive weaponry and other technological gadgets as a way of demonstrating their power to each other and to themselves. As an observer, Optimus could see the subtle international competition within the politics in the governing body known as the United Nations.

But it turned out that the planet itself had its own displays of power, forces of nature that _always_ trumped human efforts to control it. Perusals through the Internet revealed the strength of hurricanes, the churning forces of waterfalls such as the Niagara Falls on the US – Canadian border in the east and Victoria Falls in the continent of Africa, and the destructiveness of earthquakes such as the infamous San Francisco earthquake of 1906, which had occurred approximately one hundred and one of the human years prior to the Autobots' arrival to Earth.

If anything, the natural events showed the humans' perseverance as they slowly overcame each one to live see the next day.

Now he was witnessing another display of power march relentlessly across the skies, slowly moving eastward. The ground beneath him was still damp from the rain shower from earlier that evening, but was _alive_, teeming with even the smallest life forms. The rain was renewing energy for them, and Optimus could feel the energy humming all around him.

Ratchet finally broke the silence after thirty human minutes of silence. "Assuming the storm doesn't lose strength over the Midwest region of this country, it will break up by the time it reaches the northeastern region. They will simply experience a rain storm," he said, and Optimus could sense that the medical officer was scanning the atmosphere. "The lightning should not do permanent damage to us, but Primus forbid that a certain _youngling_ lets his curiosity get the better of him and end up slagging his vocal circuits again," Ratchet grumbled darkly. "Then I'm going to be fixing them again, and it will take much longer because he has to travel from Tranquility and then that boy will want to come and it will take even longer because humans can't stay up for twenty-four hours without recharging and it be a hassle when the youngling will not be willing to sit still…"

"The new base will almost be ready for us," Optimus gently reminded him.

"Still…" Ratchet muttered crossly. He would never say it aloud, but Optimus suspected that there was a very good reason that Ratchet enjoyed his work at the hospital (Ratchet never specified which hospital), and disliked leaving it for too long.

Optimus could only guess.

"It is interesting that some natural ecosystems rely on these sort of storms to destroy the old life to allow new life space to nourish and grow," Ratchet observed in a thoughtful manner. "That phenomenon is more common in regions south of the planet's equator rather than up here in the northern regions."

"Are the humans in direct danger of these storms?" Optimus asked curiously as they watched more lightning bolts reach for the ground in the distance.

Ratchet sighed, and then said, "While the occurrence is extremely rare, humans do tend to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when a bolt hits the ground, and they do get electrocuted from time to time. Despite that however, there appears to be many stories on the Internet of survivors of such incidents. They are lucky to escape with their lives, but it seems to me that the humans are more concerned about the celebrity status that comes with surviving lightning rather than being concerned with their personal health."

"I have observed that there are humans, especially adolescents, who are more concerned about their personal standings in society rather than the concerns related to their peers," Optimus replied.

Ratchet made a noise of agreement, and then was silent for a few moments. Then he said, "I just spoke with Bumblebee, and he said that the Banes residence lost all electrical power, but Miss Banes and her family are used to it that occurring." He was quiet, and then said, "Thank Primus that Bumblebee's vocal cords were spared."

"Ironhide mentioned a similar incident occurring at the Lennox residence. Apparently the storm woke up and startled the sparkling that lives there," Optimus said, recalling his conversation with the weapons specialist. "He also said to avoid Captain Lennox's mate at all costs in the middle of the night, although he wouldn't elaborate as to why."

"Probably something small he overreacted to, like a raccoon or some other stray animal in the house and then witnessing the mate's reaction. Human females I've noticed do not like unwelcome creatures however small in their homes. I wouldn't worry about it," Ratchet said in a dismissive manner. "The way he reacts to even the littlest threats one would think they were all Decepticons. _I_ just hope that he doesn't try something stupid like harnessing the lightning's power to use for later."

Optimus sighed. Although it may have sounded like something Ironhide would do, he trusted his weapon specialist's judgment for this situation. "Ironhide wouldn't do something like that. He knows about the passage of electricity through metallic objects, and wouldn't unnecessarily endanger Captain Lennox and his family that way," Optimus said, reminding Ratchet of the human family. "Especially the Lennox youngling. He seems to hold a certain fondness for her."

"I do wish to see how that little relationship turns out," Ratchet observed as they watched a dance of lightning bolts dance across the distant sky. "I feel fortunate that we did not arrive to Earth during one of these storms. That would have had negative side effects on not only us, but it would have separated us, making it easy pickings for the Decepticons. We would have had to regroup while the Decepticons made their move for the boy's glasses."

"Then we are very fortunate indeed to have arrived when we did," Optimus said, and then the silence resumed as the two Autobots continued watching the far-off thunderstorm.

------------

A/N: So here we go. The next two chapters will be connected to Air Force One, one being an alternate take on a scene in Chapter 37, and the other being a scene that takes place after the story ends. As for this chapter, well, all I have to say is that towards the end of Ironhide's section, I was thinking of the song, '_Lullabye for a Stormy Night_' by Vienna Teng.


	14. Ride in the Cruiser

Chapter Fourteen

Ride in the Cruiser

"Relax. General Farthingale had a party last night here and he's going to wake up around noon with one of the worst hangovers in his life. Call it a hunch," Tobias said, winking again. "Here are a few loose ends that you don't need to worry about. The yellow Camaro was used to sneak ahead and scope out the terrain. Lynch is expecting us to show up later this afternoon, so we're going to surprise him this morning. Now do you want to ride in the GMC or the cruiser? Lennox will keep you company in the truck, the cop will be in the cruiser. Your call," Tobias explained.

Alexis looked hesitantly at the cruiser and said, "Let me guess. You'd rather I went with the cruiser.

Tobias shrugged. "Actually, yes. It would look more professional," he said, rubbing his elbow in a slightly tensed manner. "Listen, I know that you and the cop have issues, but try not to start something okay?" he said, sighing. "Save the irritation for the enemy."

"Ehh…" Alexis began, still unsure.

"Come on captain. He's a police officer. He's not going to bite. What, are you afraid he's going to, oh, I don't know, pull a fast one on us and use you as a bargaining chip?" Tobias asked. "He's real chummy with Stryker, so the two of you should get along super-well."

"_Fine_," Alexis growled out, sensing that this wasn't going to be an easy battle to win. Plus, if Barricade was as 'chummy with Starscream' as Tobias believed him to be, that had to mean that the pair would have similar ideals, temperaments, and attitudes.

Great.

Tobias gave her an odd look. "Relax captain, you make it as though I'm sending you to your executioner or something," he said calmly.

_You have no idea_, she thought to herself."Do I have to go now?" she asked aloud, hoping that he was going to say no. If he said no, then perhaps she could delay the trip a bit…

Tobias nodded. "We need to seize the time slot presented to us. Keller will be back later today," he said.

"Okay. Good luck then Tobias. Don't give Stryker such a hard time," she said, and Tobias saluted respectfully.

Alexis turned and began to walk towards the cruiser, but was intercepted by Ari. The two women stared at each other, and then Ari pulled her in for a hug. "This is going to be the first mission where not only do I not have Tyler, but I don't have you either." Ari mumbled, all bravado gone now.

Alexis laughed and pulled away. "Just be nice to Stryker and you shouldn't have a problem," she gently told Ari.

"Preston! We got to get a move-on; it's going to be a semi-long drive!" Tobias shouted from where he was standing by Optimus.

"Good luck!" Ari shouted as Alexis began to walk away. "You'll be going with psycho after all… call me if he gives you trouble! That car is like a magnet for my jet's guns, and I've always wanted to practice strafing a moving target!"

"Hopefully it won't come to that," Alexis muttered to herself as she walked to the passenger side of the cruiser. She didn't give a damn about what the Decepticon thought or wanted to do, she just wanted to get to their destination alive.

The first thing she did after opening the door and before sitting down was removing the giant metal pincushion in her seat. Frenzy, who had somehow managed to repair himself, howled as she picked him up in his disguised mode as a boombox and carelessly tossed him into the plastic backseat. He transformed in flight to the backseat, landing in a sprawl on the plastic seats. Frenzy turned around, and then lunged at her, claws bared. The plastic barrier between the front and back seats swiftly came up however, barring the way for the hyper little Decepticon.

"While that was not necessary, it will be quieter since he is in the backseat," the hologram beside her said, appearing as though an internal switch had been thrown. Alexis could see why Ari had taken a liking to him when she'd first spotted him. His hologram appeared to be in his mid-thirties, and was handsome based on what Alexis knew of Ari's preferences. If he wasn't careful, Ari might get over her fear of him and then approach him again. The man seemed to look elsewhere at a hidden signal, and then the cruiser started moving.

In the backseat, Frenzy continued pounding against the plastic barrier in anger. Alexis flinched slightly when the hologram abruptly vanished from her side, and tried to distract herself by staring elsewhere and trying to ignore Frenzy in the back.

The Decepticons, like the Autobots, had the replicating trick nailed securely down; a quick glance at Barricade and one might assume that he was a cruiser made by machine for the local law enforcement. One of the few things that set him apart however was the pointed insignia on the center of the steering wheel and the small hieroglyphs lined the dashboard in small images.

A loud rattling and what sounded like cussing suddenly came from the backseat, cutting the peace and prompting Alexis to jerk in surprise. She turned her head around to see Frenzy right there, making faces and flashing rude hand gestures in her direction. No need to wonder whether the finger gesture was from Earth or not; Alexis had used it several times herself and knew very well what it meant. Instead, she cupped her ear as though she couldn't hear him, and mouthed the words, 'I can't hear you'. Frenzy let out a muffled howl and began banging against the plastic with both fists, but no luck.

"Try not to irritate him; I'm the one who feels it," Barricade suddenly said, his voice coming from the radio.

"Sorry," she mumbled although she didn't really feel the sentiment.

The silence was starting to get to her. The rapping behind her went on in an irregular pattern, as though Frenzy knew exactly how to push her buttons. She gritted her teeth and instead gripped the side of the seat.

"I can feel that too. Try not to touch me with your hands; you always manage to do it in either a painful or irritating way," Barricade snapped crossly, and she folded her hands in her lap. After a moment of silence, she pulled out the headset from her pocket and slipped it on briefly, just to see if Starscream was on the link yet. He wasn't. Sighing in defeat, she put the headset back and then stared out at the passing scenery from the window. The silence was starting to get to her… and so was the rapping behind her.

"I don't care about your comfort right now Barricade, _mine's_ more important," she muttered to herself as she twisted around in the seat to face Frenzy. He stopped tapping the window, and stared curiously back at her. She wondered if she was the first human he had ever gotten a good look at because he wasn't trying to kill her.

"Listen, and listen well," she hissed, moving her mouth slowly so Frenzy could understand. "I know you don't like Starscream very much, but I will get him involved if you… don't… stop… that… tapping."

Frenzy jabbered back at her, and Barricade chuckled at whatever the small Decepticon said. "He's daring you to call Starscream," Barricade smoothly translated. "Which I will be interested to see as well. Just because you think you're close with him doesn't mean he's going to cooperate with you at the hour you need it."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Alexis asked, chafing slightly at the reminder that she didn't know Starscream as well as she thought she did.

"Nothing," Barricade replied, and Alexis could detect the smugness in his tone.

Alexis gritted her teeth, and pulled out the map that Tobias had given to her earlier. If Barricade didn't want to talk, then she was fine with that… except for the fact that she was going to call Lennox up on the cell phone in a few seconds if nothing else happened. Then she entertained the idea of calling Ari, but knew the importance of keeping things running smoothly. The silence in the cruiser was overwhelming and borderline awkward. She meant, well, what does one discuss with a giant extra-terrestrial who has a similar temperament to his companion?

The damn map was doing a crummy job of distracting her from her current situation.

If Starscream or Ari didn't beat her to it, she was going to kill Tobias for suggesting that she ride with Barricade in the first place.

Actually, now that she thought about it…

"Barricade?" she asked, feigning a timid voice.

"What?" he snapped crossly. He had been hopeful that she wouldn't speak to him at all during the trip.

"Why do you hate my friend so much? I mean, the thing that happened in LA a couple of years ago was an accident because she was disappointed that you didn't, um, return her affection," Alexis asked, hoping to use this time to clear up the confusion between Barricade and Ari. "Then the whole hill thing in Mission City was more of a reaction to your, uh, murderous intents?" The explanation came out as a question because she wasn't really sure at all what Barricade had been thinking at the time.

"I refuse to consort with any of you humans than beyond what is necessary," Barricade snapped. Frenzy jabbered what seemed to be an agreement from the backseat.

Alexis fell quiet. She would have to tell Ari that Barricade wasn't her type. Her friend was not going to be pleased with that news.

It was Frenzy who broke the silence again by doing the irregular tapping again. Alexis gritted her teeth, and then said, "Barricade, if you so value me staying quiet, then you'll lower that damn barrier, and _not say a word_." As she spoke she unbuckled her seatbelt and slid over to the driver's seat.

The engine accelerated in anger at the sudden change in her position, but she crossed her arms like a stubborn child to show that she wasn't moving anytime soon. The barrier between the seats did lower however, and Frenzy lunged through, claws bared. Alexis reached into her pocket for the firearm that she never gave back to Ari, pulled it out, and then aimed straight at him. "You want some of this again?" she asked warningly. When Frenzy chattered a challenge, she raised it so that the muzzle went past Frenzy's head. "I don't know about you, but I'm ready to bet that since Barricade is tougher than normal cars, the bullet is going to ricochet off the window and hit _you_ in the back of the head."

Frenzy tensed, waiting for the gunshot. A foreign language came forth from the radio however, and miraculously Frenzy calmed down, although he still glared at her resentfully. The little Cybertronian reminded Alexis of a child who wanted desperately to bully another, but couldn't because the potential victim was under secure protection of a higher power.

"Thank Primus we're here… I don't know how much of you both I can tolerate," Barricade finally said, clearly pleased that the ride was over.

"Feeling's mutual," Alexis muttered, glancing at Frenzy, who was actually doing a rather good mimic of her position. She managed to resist the urge to kick him.

Barricade barked orders to Frenzy, who clambered out of the passenger door window after it had opened. Alexis watched as the little robot went straight to work at using a torch-like attachment to 'carve' a hole out of the chain-link fence of the gate. A uniformed guard came out of nowhere to challenge the intruders, but had the sense to take off before Frenzy could turn a weapon onto him. As soon as the large hole was completed, Frenzy clambered back into Barricade, making scraping sounds on the side as he did so.

Alexis got out of the cruiser when it was still slowing down, just so she wouldn't be tormented any more. She nearly got hit by Ironhide, who had been right on Barricade's tail, and then went around the GMC to join Will.

"Remind me to _kill_ Tobias when we get back," she hissed as Will climbed out of the truck. "I do not want to be…"

Her words were cut off as Will began to laugh a bit. "Did you ever think about trying out your negotiating skills while you were in there?" he asked, still grinning.

"_It's not funny!" _she hissed angrily. "I didn't want to be negotiator remember?"

Will shrugged. "I'm sure you'll be fine. You survived a car ride with a Decepticon who tried to kill Sam Witwicky a couple months ago. It can't get worse than that," he said, walking forward.

Alexis slipped the small headset on, and then climbed out as Lennox did and walked forward towards the structure, the five holograms appearing behind them. Rose appeared at Alexis's side and kept pace with her. The strike team would remain concealed until the last minute. The silence was broken only by the crunch of their footsteps on the gravel.

"That's quite far enough thank you."

Alexis stopped, and looked up onto a balcony nearest to them. Lynch stood there, flanked by guards. Her heart constricted in sorrow when she recognized Tom on Lynch's right side, leaning on his cane. He was wielding a rifle, and Alexis knew that soldiers on their side would not hesitate to have him shot in the combat, and he would not be shown mercy if any if captured. She couldn't believe however that the accusations against him had been true after all

-----------

A/N: This one is for Yuki Hikari, who was looking forward to seeing Alexis to go with Barricade instead of Ironhide in Chapter 37 of Air Force One. This piece here is basically an alternate scene from that chapter, and the beginning and last paragraphs are pretty much the same as it was in the chapter, so I hoped you all enjoyed it. The character of Rose Connelly belongs to and requires her permission to use elsewhere.


	15. Shark!

Chapter Fifteen

Shark

"Shark!"

Alexis Preston heard a groan and a clang as Ari smacked her head against the ship's metal railing. They were in the middle of the Atlantic, on an U.S. Navy warship heading to an overseas base in Europe, where Ari and a large amount of other personnel were to be dropped off. Alexis agreed to go with Ari for the support, and Tyler, well, he had suffered a flash of separation anxiety when Ari disappeared for twenty minutes to begin packing. So he had come along on his own free will. Both Alexis and Tyler were also expected to leave and get back to the States on their own; the ship's captain said that only authorized personnel could go along for the next leg of the journey.

"Whatever possessed me to agree to let him go with us?" Ari cried as Alexis joined Tyler at the railing. She leaned forward to look over as well into the murky waters. It was cloudy out at the moment, and that did not help with the search process at all. The cold air nipped at the exposed skin, causing Alexis to shudder a bit.

"Where's the shark?" she asked as Ari went inside to get something for seasickness. She kept her voice low; the Autobots Ironhide and Ratchet were above deck not too far away from the pair of them. Bumblebee and Optimus Prime had opted to be below deck, for comfort reasons. For the past hour however, Ironhide had been itching for either a fight or a chance to use his cannons on something. Alexis didn't want to attract his attention, then look up what a shark was, and then attempt to kill it. A large dead fish floating in the middle of the ocean would be a next-to-impossible event to explain without revealing national secrets in the process.

"I don't know where it went…" Tyler said slowly, looking up from the water to her. He smiled and asked, "What were we just talking about?"

"A damn fish, that's what," Ari snapped, swallowing a few pills as she walked over to Ironhide. She hoisted herself onto the hood, and then observed, "You know what this truck reminds me of?"

"What?" Alexis asked, momentarily distracted from her thoughts.

"This dream I had last year about this giant black robot that aimed a cannon or two at my face. I think I scared him or something; I was going to show this jerk what a rat's tail was with my towel, and the guy jumped back suddenly. Then the giant robot aimed the weapon at my face," Ari answered eagerly. "Like I said, just a dream."

"Nice," Alexis said, smiling. She turned back to look across the wide ocean, Tyler once again at her side leaning over the railing and looking for the shark.

"It's Davis again, isn't it?" Ari suddenly asked, breaking the silence between them. Having seen her friend slip into this pensive mood before, Ari knew to recognize the signs.

Alexis shrugged. "He's one of the things that's bothering me," she admitted, turning again to look at Ari.

Ari swore loudly, flopping down onto Ironhide's hood. "That son of a bitch better not even consider coming back… I'll wring his neck with both hands if I see him again," she growled.

"Ari, he just wanted to go home. That's reasonable," Alexis said, attempting to soothe Ari's temper before she started pounding her fists on Ironhide's hood.

"No, it's not reasonable when he first steals your ID card, and then has a fictitious address in the records, and aforementioned address leads to an empty hut in the middle of nowhere! I tell you, I bet he's working for the government or something and was a spy!" Ari said, growing visibly excited as each new possibility came to mind. "Betcha he's one of those sleeper agents for the government who do top secret stuff and lie through their teeth about it all day!"

"Yeah… good luck with that," Alexis said, knowing very well the truth about 'Stryker Davis' and where he really meant. She changed the subject, asking, "So, what are you doing?"

Ari stretched out on top of Ironhide's hood and replied with complete seriousness, "Trying to decide whether I want to buy Will's truck from him or not, to replace the Camry." She looked at Alexis and said, "That was so freaky, how the Camry went."

Alexis grimaced at the reminder. As an apparent farewell gift, Barricade had done some weird wiring to Ari's car to portray a Decepticon signal. Clueless to the world as ever, Ari had used the Camry to run a few errands in the nation's capital. That of course kicked off a five-car chase as the four Autobots pursued what they thought was a Decepticon who had decided to drop by. Ari didn't realize about the chase until she accidentally tricked Bumblebee into going in a roadside ditch. At first, she had a blast, easily outrunning the other three by using her knowledge of the streets. After she'd thought she lost them, she went into the post office to renew her passport. Ironhide, ready to end this 'silly game', immediately pounced and destroyed the car. So Ari found a smoking crater outside in the parking lot when she was done.

"I bet if you asked nicely enough, Will might let you borrow it until you get your own," Alexis suggested.

Ari made a non-committal grunt as her response.

Alexis turned back to Tyler as he yelled in surprise and jumped far away from the railing. Ari let out a shriek as the truck suddenly went into reverse, and then stilled. Alexis just jerked back and then glanced at Tyler; he was still looking petrified at something he had just seen.

"Damn brakes, damn truck," Ari growled angrily, and let out a yelp as the truck again moved on its own, this time moving forward at a steady pace and then swiftly switching in reverse while still in motion. Ari cried out when she fell off the hood and landed on the metal deck. She stared at the truck in wonder and shock.

"Ty, are you all right?" Alexis asked Tyler while Ari stumbled to her feet.

"Lexi! The truck just pushed me off!" Ari yelled, cutting Tyler off and sounding similar to a tattling toddler.

"Good for the truck!" Alexis snapped and then refocused her attention on Tyler. "What did you see?" she demanded.

"I cut my finger on the railing, and, and, and, it was bleeding and was falling into the water and I didn't notice and a _shark_ came to the surface!" Tyler answered, half-shouting now. "It wants _to eat_ me!"

"Congratulations. We'll leave it alone and get you patched up," Alexis said, soothing Tyler's hyperactive mind. "Come on."

"What do you say that we drive the truck off the ship, drop it on the shark and kill it that way? I'll drive," Ari offered, still glaring at the offending vehicle.

"What do we say that we _don't," _Alexis suggested as she pulled out the first aid kit and used a gauze pad to haphazardly wrap Tyler's cut up. "Now Tyler, just get it checked by the ship's doctor."

"Not the paramedic guy?" Tyler asked curiously, pointing to Ratchet.

"He's…down… stairs. Now… go," Alexis said through gritted teeth. "Ari, take him."

Ari opened her mouth to offer a smart comeback, but then decided wisely against it. She sighed as she took Tyler's elbow and dragged him back to the interior of the ship. Alexis meanwhile leaned on the railing, suddenly exhausted and drained.

She heard the faint whirring of motors as the truck drew closer to the railing, no doubt looking for the shark. "It's okay, it's gone," she said, not looking at him.

There was a sound of gears turning as Ironhide used his scanners to scan the water. Alexis fought back a smile; if he was looking for signs of life, he was going to get thousands of signals because of the krill closer to the surface, and then the whales searching for their next meal. The shark would either leave or challenge the whales.

The dorsal fin circling nearby indicated otherwise.

"It's looking for the source of the human blood," Ratchet said, appearing on her other side, still in vehicular mode. "He will not go unless he is challenged or simply loses interest."

"Wikipedia?" Alexis asked, a faint smile on her mouth.

Ratchet remained stubbornly quiet.

Ironhide checked his immediate surroundings; the few clueless people were all below decks. He transformed, pulling out his favorite cannon. "Shall I terminate this threat?" he asked as the weapon began to whir dangerously.

"No, unless you want to attract Ari's attention again," Alexis said, fighting back a grin.

Ironhide muttered something in his language, presumably about Ari, and transformed back into a truck. He went in reverse and slowly adopted his original spot on the deck again, Ratchet carefully following him.

Just in time.

Ari came through the door, not noticing the fact that both the Hummer and GMC truck were moving on their own before becoming still again. "Will's gotta put those things below decks; the salt in the air is going to get into them," she said, joining Alexis at the railing."

"Still want the truck?" Alexis asked.

Ari shook her head. "I don't want a truck that's gonna eject me out of the driver's seat. Just wait and watch. It will do that if I give it that chance," she said, throwing a dark glare in Ironhide's direction.

Alexis shrugged. "You can do whatever you want," she said, and then went back to staring at the ocean. There was a moment of silence, then footsteps as Ari walked away, and then the roar of a car engine behind her. Alexis whirled around and shouted, "Anything but driving the truck off the ship!"

"Damn. You're no fun anymore," Ari grumbled as she turned the truck's engine off and prepared to climb out. "We could have killed that shark." Alexis watched in surprise as Ari was suddenly ejected straight from the driver's seat out the open door and landed sprawled on the ship's deck.

"Told you so… and stop laughing!" Ari shrieked as Alexis began to laugh uncontrollably.

------------

A/N: So this piece came from a prompt I was given, and I had a little fun writing about Ari and Ironhide's interactions. This is a part of the Air Force One continuity; it would have taken place about a year after the story ended. Tranformers belongs to Hasbro, OCs belong to me.


	16. Family

Chapter Sixteen

Family

Sarah Lennox gritted her teeth, and then said, "Never in a million years did I imagine I would _ever _have to tell the car to shut up." Slamming on the brakes to prevent a collision, she said in a forced friendly tone, "Ironhide, how about you let me drive in peace and stop offering your opinion since it is clearly unwanted?" She allowed the truck to inch forward a bit before applying the brakes again.

"How about you tell me where we are going and I find a quicker route there?" Ironhide retorted, attempting to regain control of his brakes and accelerator, but Sarah's firm grip prevented him from doing so without harming the passengers. "I got us this far did I not?" he reminded her.

"I _know_ how to get where we're going! I don't need some giant talking GPS telling me what to do!" Sarah snapped, allowing the truck to move slowly again when the light up ahead turned green.

"Harsh," Will observed, relaxing in the passenger seat as Annabelle giggled from her car seat in the back. "Let her be 'Hide… human female drivers tend to get cranky when they have to deal with a backseat driver in traffic-jammed places such as New York City. How does this sound; if a Decepticon decides to show up, the wheel is all yours?"

Sarah didn't listen to Ironhide's answer, she was thinking more on the traffic ahead and the possibility of a Decepticon. She thought back to before when Lennox told her the truth about 'Uncle Hide'. Will had called her, saying that he had gotten some leave time and was waiting in Boston for her. He was in the mood for a trip down the east coast, and wanted her to join him for a surprise of sorts. So she'd obliged him by taking an airplane out to Logan Airport, Annabelle sleeping the entire trip. Then, after she had gotten there, she had teased Will mercilessly about his attachment to the black GMC that was waiting in the parking lot. Then Will dropped the real bombshell by formally introducing her to Ironhide, the robot behind 'Uncle Hide'. She had been shocked into silence for several hours. Needless to say, her temper had been shortened significantly because Will decided to keep such an important secret from her and even worse yet, put Annabelle at greater risk of extra-terrestrial threat.

Now the three – no, the four of them, were in Manhattan, New York, half because it was on their route, half because Will was a little curious to see how Ironhide would handle the streets and traffic. Now Ironhide was the one with the short temper, mainly because the taxi drivers were testing his patience and Sarah refused to let him move under his own power.

The truck's engine rumbled warningly as two yellow taxis cut him off as Ironhide tried to switch lanes and continued on their way. "Ironhide, engaging a simple taxi in a game of who is better isn't a great idea… these taxi drivers know what they're doing because they've been working here for years," Will warned.

"They are extremely annoying," Ironhide growled, regaining control of the tires long enough to switch lanes, nearly causing a collision with another taxi that tried to sneak by. Sarah felt her face flush in embarrassment as the taxi driver leaned out of the window and began shouting at her in anger.

"He would probably be even more angry if I told him it was all the truck's fault," Sarah muttered, easing onto the brakes at the next light. "Might even suggest that I go to a freaking mental institution…"

"Sarah, you can't blame Ironhide for _everything_ that goes wrong," Will interrupted, trying to soothe the irate woman. He suspected that at this point, it was less of Ironhide and more of the infamous New York traffic that was bothering her. "Take it easy Hide… the streets here are narrow and it might be a little more trickier to maneuver."

"Okay Will, what exactly happened that one time when Annabelle was sick and threw up in the car? Or we came home from that dinner date and there was baby food all over the truck? Or, or, during that thunderstorm when 'Uncle Hide' just walked into the house… through the garage," Sarah said, her voice trailing off when she realized the last piece of information.

"Don't pound the dashboard in frustration like you do in the Honda when you're mad," Will said, catching her fist in time. "Well, now that you know, you and Ironhide can have a little bonding time… if you're both up for it," he said, quickly adding in the last part when Sarah threw him a death glare. He looked out the window, and suddenly made a sound of appreciation. "Sarah?" he asked warily.

"Yes, _dear_?" Sarah asked through clenched teeth, keeping a firm foot on the brake pedal as a daring taxi crept up on her left. She heard the revving of the engine as Ironhide itched to have a shot at beating the taxi on the road.

"Pull over. I just saw this gelato place that is supposed to be really good," Will said, twisting in his seat to keep the restaurant in question within view. "Please Sarah? You can find a parking garage for Hide and come join us," he said, doing discreet hand signals behind his back so that one of Ironhide's sensors could pick up on it.

"Us?" Sarah repeated as she braved the two lanes of traffic to get to the curb. A few people on the sidewalk paused and a few backed away just so they could appreciate the glossy GMC that had pulled up to the curb and had somehow managed to maneuver into a parallel park against the curb. Sarah was never going to admit this, but she was secretly glad that Ironhide had opted to do that part on his own. She wasn't the best parallel-parker to begin with, but do it in a sentient truck was even harder… since she would be constantly worried about harming him.

"Yeah, us," Will said, climbing out onto the sidewalk. He opened the back door and said, "Us as in Annie and I. Don't worry Sarah, I'll take good care of her."

"This was just a ploy to get the two of us to cooperate wasn't it?" Sarah growled as he shut the back door and placed Annabelle in the Snugli.

"No, I seriously saw a place for gelato back there. Time to introduce Annie to the European cousin of ice cream," Will said while checking Annabelle's straps. "Don't tear each other apart," he added before walking down the sidewalk back to the restaurant.

Sarah sighed as the passenger door shut, and the truck pulled out of the parallel park and back into mainstream traffic. "I will not tolerate a parking garage," Ironhide announced, breaking the silence.

"Where will you go? Here in Manhattan, people rely more on their feet and those bothersome taxis. No offense, but you're huge even by vehicle standards," Sarah told him, regaining control of the wheel, accelerator, and brakes. "It's a wonder you can navigate these damn streets…"

Sarah nearly jumped out of her skin when Ironhide blasted his horn, prompting a Buick, a Mazda, and another taxi to scatter out of his way. Sarah checked around quickly, praying that there wasn't a police officer hanging around. There was no way she was going to pay the three-hundred-and-fifty dollar fine for that blast when she didn't even do it… not that the officer would believe her to begin with.

She was quiet as she kept a firm grip on the steering wheel, looking out for the hotel that Will had found online. Once she located that, then it would be time to find the parking garage for Ironhide. He was going to hate her for a while for this, but it was that or fighting with every driver, pedestrian, and police officer in New York if she didn't.

"May I ask a question?" Ironhide suddenly asked.

She blinked, but answered, "Of course." She wondered what question he could possibly have when all the answers were available to him via the Internet, assuming Will's explanation was to be believed…

"Do you not wish for my presence?"

Sarah winced inwardly. Ironhide was definitely not one who beat around the bush. "It's not that, it's just… just that this whole Autobot Decepticon thing came as a shock, and now I've got the Decepticons to worry about. If what you say is true, then they're going to come after Will and I really don't think that I can raise Annie on my own…"

"You seemed to handle raising the sparkling fine in the beginning," the giant weapons specialist reminded her.

"Ironhide, I was worried _sick_ that Will wasn't going to come home. Initially after Qatar last year, I thought Will was really gone… Keller even said there were no survivors. Then, you and him just showed up at the front door one evening," Sarah said quietly, her voice shaking when she thought of it. Those terrifying days, the constant reviewing of what she thought had been their last conversation via webcam…

"Back on Cybertron, a few of our femmes entered combat with us. That did not ease my worry when it came to my mate, even though she proved to be a capable fighter," Ironhide rumbled, finally permitted to race a taxi across the intersection. Annoyed, the taxi driver honked, but received another blaring horn blast from the GMC. Figuratively beaten back into submission, the taxi had the sense to back off by slowing down a bit.

"Is she… still alive?" Sarah finally ventured carefully.

There was a momentary silence from the truck, and Sarah internally panicked, thinking she had accidentally offended the Autobot. "I am unsure. We were separated in the final battles for Cybertron. I have not been able to contact her since," Ironhide finally replied.

"Oh… sorry," Sarah said, feeling awkward and unsure what to say. She felt a little foolish for fretting over Will's safety when Ironhide hadn't even _spoken_ to his mate for who knew how long. She also didn't know what to say at this point either. The heavy silence hung in the air for a few moments as Sarah searched her mind desperately for something to say, anything to break the silence. "Do you think she's all right?" she asked lamely, mentally kicking herself.

Ironhide considered the question. "I know she is… a 'gut feeling' as you humans would put it," he said, catching onto Sarah's embarrassment. "I am now waiting for her to return."

"What is her name?" Sarah asked, braking in time to avoid the minivan directly ahead of her.

"Chromia. She is a fierce fighter and a close companion, and I know she will eventually come here," Ironhide said, and Sarah nodded in agreement. She looked around and bit her lip in worry when she found that she had been traveling in circles around blocks, not finding their destination. As though he read her mind, Ironhide asked, "Now will you give me our destination so that I may find the quickest route there?"

Sarah finally relented. "We are going to… the Comfort Inn near the Empire State Building," she said, checking the paper that had the confirmation for their reservations. She released the wheel and the other systems so that Ironhide could move under his own power. He quickly proved to be just as daring as the New York taxis, and Sarah barely remembered in time to at least _pretend_ to be driving.

"Ironhide?" she finally asked.

"Yes?"

Sarah took a deep breath, and said, "I don't know if Will told you, but I suppose that we do consider you a part of our family, if you ever need a permanent place to stay or… _allies_ to fall back on. Lord knows Annie loves you to death…"

Ironhide was silent once again, and then said, "Thank you. I don't know if Captain Lennox told _you,_ but my guardianship over him has already extended to you and Annabelle."

"Thank you, Ironhide, thank you," Sarah whispered. Perhaps, living with the Autobot weapons specialist won't be as hard as she initially assumed…

--------------

A/N: Whoa… part of that was a little awkward for me to write. Normally when I get into that sort of situation, I just start over with a different scenario to get out of it, but I wanted to write it out this time. How did I do? As for Ironhide, I was leaning into Generation 1 a bit for his back-story. Finally, I do have two more updates for this story before the end of the week, so stay tuned! :)


	17. Moment of Truth

Chapter Seventeen

Moment of Truth

_January 2009_

"We're grounded here until Control gives the say-so, and we all know how reliable the good old Control is, don't we?" Captain James 'Two-Face' Mareski said to his squadron, tossing a package of vanilla cookies to a few of the nearest pilots. He tossed one to one of his favorites, the usually chatty Lieutenant Arianna Aliskevicz, but it bounced off her shoulder and fell to the ground unnoticed. Ari merely grunted in response to the missile, but did not look away from the snowy streets outside. "Come on Motor, it's not the end of the world that we're a bit stuck here because of the weather… kind of allows you to enjoy the country a bit," he said.

"Call me that one more time and I will hurt you," she snapped back crossly.

The others made sounds of disapproval as the captain sighed. He stood up and crossed over to where she was sitting, and sat down as the conversations around him resumed. He picked up the fallen cookies and handed them to her. "Sorry about that," he said once she accepted the cookies. "It's just that, well, you've never integrated with us very well, and I'm trying to fix that."

Ari made a noise as she opened the plastic wrapping. "That's because we, the 401st, were forced several times to work together, and then Keller separated us completely," she said crossly, taking her anger out on the cookie she was chewing.

"Did you work with anyone that drove you crazy and not too sorry to see gone?" he asked, interested in keeping his newest recruit talking in hopes that he could find a way to cheer her up a bit.

"Definitely Stryker frickin' Davis, and maybe Tobias Jackson, the idiot who gave me this damned call sign," she said thoughtfully. "Davis and I just never hit it off as well as he did with my best friend. Jackson was just an unnecessary pain in the ass."

"Huh. I guess I'll have to meet Jackson sometime. Don't think I've ever heard of Davis before though, but he sounds like a bundle of joy," Mareski said, offering another cookie pack, which she declined. "Did you at least get a chance to explore London before the storm hit?" he asked.

"I actually came here a while ago with friends," she admitted. "But I did go back to my favorite spots earlier today."

"No drinking right?" he asked, grinning slightly to show that he wasn't too dead serious about the question.

"Does one little bottle of tequila count?" she asked, looking at him in a slightly alarmed manner.

"How little?" Mareski asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Two inches…ish," she said, shrugging. "That was before lunch anyway."

Mareski sighed. Talk about a wayward missile.

The door opened, and the pilots paused in conversation to look up and see John, one of the British officials who worked within the base. He scanned the room and asked, "Who wants to be a brave soul and do a quick drive through London… now?"

No one immediately answered. Instead, the pilots suddenly found something else to be doing. Oblivious as usual to her surroundings, Ari muttered to Mareski, "I feel sorry for the sucker who has to drive in the middle of the snowstorm."

"Thank you, lieutenant, for volunteering," John snapped, catching her attention. She scowled as he approached her with a white unmarked box. "This is your cargo. Try not to handle it too much… the contents are radioactive," he warned, placing the box into her reluctant hands. "The entire thing is lined in lead, so don't worry too much."

"What is it, a bomb?" Ari asked, gingerly moving it onto the window seat.

"No. Here are the directions for where it is supposed to be delivered. The receiver is a man named Benjamin Graham. He will be the only bloke on the street to have an American flag outside his home right now. Understand?" John instructed. He raised an eyebrow and asked, "Any questions?"

"Do I get paid to do this?" Ari asked curiously. She looked up at him with a hopeful expression.

"No, you get to ensure international security a little farther. Any more?" John replied.

"Yeah, are you super sure that I'm not carrying a bomb?" Ari asked with all seriousness. "International security is a little big compared to national…

"_Yes_ for the last time. Now listen, I know it's dark and snowy out, but that's going to be your cover," he said. "Here is a small handgun… it's better against, uh, larger-than-normal targets," he added, putting the pistol on top of the box. When Ari didn't immediately react, he snapped, "Leave now while you have the chance!" Ari got up with the box from her seat, grumbling to herself the entire time.

After she left the room, Mareski asked, "You didn't just send my pilot to her death did you?"

"No, she will have sufficient protection. That's all I can say," John replied before turning on his heel and leaving the room.

Meanwhile, Ari griped to herself about the unnecessary trip as she unlocked one of the rental cars and tossed the box unceremoniously into the backseat. Besides, she only had to drive the damn thing, not be careful with it…

After a moment's thought, she carefully straightened the box, and then slipped the handgun into the empty holster that was always at her side. If she was seriously carrying a bomb, it wouldn't do her any good to have it blow en route just because she was being careless. She waited until the garage opened before taking off into the night.

It wasn't snowing too bad she decided. It could have been worse, plus she didn't bring a jacket of any kind, just a long-sleeved sweatshirt. Ari carefully taped up the instructions beneath the rear-view mirror so she could constantly refer to them, and then had to remember to check to her left for the directions. Her friend Alexis had seemingly done a better job of adjusting to driving on the right side of the car better than Ari had when the three of them had come here around last year… or something like that. It had been a while.

Ari slowed down and stopped at a traffic light. The interesting thing about traffic lights was that the color pattern was international. Red was always first, yellow always second, green always third. In fact…

Ari refrained herself from smacking the steering wheel with her head. She should have asked Mareski to come if she knew she was going to get so lonely to the point where she was thinking about traffic lights. Even Tyler's company would be extremely welcome at this point.

Ari snorted to herself. James Mareski actually wasn't that bad for a man from Los Angeles. Her flight partner had had to explain the call sign reference to her; apparently Mareski had been picked off the LA streets by the police and placed under state custody at age ten. By then however, he could already pull off a few light scams, so the DSS officials were never sure when Mareski was sincere or not. The captain hadn't scammed anyone since then though, but they still called him 'Two-Face' as a discreet reference to the character from the Batman series and to the two sides of a coin. Basically, it was a childhood nickname that followed him to adulthood. It added a layer of caution to his persona when people met him for the first time.

Ari liked him a lot.

Now, even an idiot driver notices eventually that he, or she, is being followed. It didn't click for Ari until she was waiting at the next traffic light a few miles down. She happened to check the rearview mirror and noticed what looked like was a slick silver vehicle directly behind her. She assumed that it was the one driver who wanted to get by. So after she had gotten past the light, she pulled over to the sidewalk to let him pass.

He did.

Ari resumed her place on the road and continued following the directions, squinting when she searched the street signs outside. This was dangerous… not only was it seeming to get darker outside, but the snow seemed to be getting thicker too. Since it was late at night, the various storefronts and other windows had their curtains drawn and the lights off. Trying to shake that sense of unease off her gut, she checked the rearview mirror one more time.

The silver car was back.

Ari was pretty sure it was the same one. She recognized the grilles and the lack of license plates. Curious, she deviated from the instructions and made an unnecessary left.

The car followed.

Ari had no idea where she was going, and this guy still followed. She turned right just to check, and still he followed. Now she was pretty sure that he was following her; there was no way they could be both going to the same place…

Her thoughts slid to the white box in the backseat. Unless the guy also wanted that too… she had a good hunch that said that Graham wasn't behind the wheel of that silver car.

If Ari had been behind the controls of an F-22, she would have turned around to meet the guy head-on if he failed to talk with her via radio. If she had been in America, she would have engaged him a car chase and then ditched him somewhere. But she was in the streets of London, semi-unfamiliar territory, and the last thing she wanted to do was cause a 'diplomatic misunderstanding'… especially since she had a track record already. No need to add to it.

Thinking fast, she headed back to the main road, no longer following the sheet taped to the rearview mirror. In fact, she tore it down in case the guy behind her was using his headlights to read the directions. Keeping one hand on the wheel, she took out and flipped open her cell phone, intent on calling either Mareski or her flight partner for help.

Ari seethed when she didn't even find a dial tone. She even had service in this area! Muttering angrily to herself, she tossed the useless cell phone into the backseat and focused on driving _away_ from her destination.

The silver car stuck to her like glue.

She scowled and wondered what John meant by 'larger-than-normal' targets. He most certainly couldn't have meant a car, or the windshield. Tires maybe, seeing that they were popular targets on TV and in movies.

Wait a second.

Ari pursed her lips when she realized that John must have seen this problem coming. Why else would he hint 'larger-than-normal'? Ari groaned. All this thinking was giving her a headache when she should be focusing on driving and not sliding. This was the main reason she always dragged Alexis along on car rides that had the potential to turn into car chases. She always needed somebody keeping a level head when she was panicking, and she was very close to panicking at the moment.

Stopping at a traffic light, she checked the rearview mirror again. The silver car was _still_ there. Ari had a gut feeling that he wasn't the average stalker or attacker; no he wanted the goody in the backseat, the mystery bomb in the white box.

Time to amp the game up to her style. See if Silver Boy wanted to play in the major leagues.

She waited until the light turned green before she floored the accelerator, not the smartest thing to do in the middle of a snowstorm. The tires squealed in protest before obeying and then the car leapt forward. Ari gripped the steering wheel tightly as the car twisted slightly on the road before resuming the straight path it had been on previously.

Silver Boy had clearly expected her to keep the slow, snail crawl she had been maintaining up until then. In the rearview, Ari snickered as she saw Silver Boy have slight difficulty getting initial traction on the snow-covered street. Then the race was on once he did gain traction.

Ari wished she had a siren on the vehicle, or something to at least warn the Londoners that their peaceful New Year's was about to go down the tubes… fast. The nice thing though was that due to the holiday, there was barely anybody on the streets. That lowered the chances of accidentally hitting someone and causing another 'diplomatic misunderstanding'.

A flash of headlights announced another newcomer to the chase. Ari whimpered when she looked in the rearview to see a silver Chevy Stingray gaining on Silver Boy in the parallel lane. Another burst of speed pushed the Stingray past Silver Boy and another closer inch towards her.

Ari grimaced as she flew through the next red light. The police could throw that on her record; she didn't really care at this point. Her life and that white box apparently were more important. By chance, she glanced down at the dashboard, and swore when she saw that the gas indicator was inching towards 'EMPTY'.

No sir, tonight was not her night. She was going to have to push the car for all it was worth in order to pull this off. Maybe until the gas tank was empty… she could crash the car into something in order to use at as much as possible.

The Stingray was up on her left now. She kept flicking glances in its direction, but she couldn't see the driver to save her life. Ari refocused on the road ahead of her, but found that she couldn't see much out that way either.

A flash of headlights from behind made her glance up in the rearview to spot a familiar GMC in close pursuit, but to the right of Silver Boy. The two vehicles were keeping pace, and, assuming she wasn't hallucinating, the GMC was edging Silver Boy towards the next lane.

_Squeeeeee!!!_

Ari screamed as the front tires hit a hidden patch of ice and began to skid. Trying to remember her driving lessons through a panic-fogged brain, Ari turned the wheel in the direction of the skid, nearly smashing into the Stingray, which moved immediately into the opposing lane of traffic to avoid a collision. The car hit another patch of ice, increasing the speed and affecting the direction of the skid. Ari finally released the wheel and ducked down to cover her face from the impending crash.

When it came, Ari was slammed forward into the fully inflated airbag. Glass and ice came raining down from the windshield. Ari waited until the tinkling had completely stopped before straightening slowly in her seat. She turned around, her neck protesting the movement as she turned to check her surroundings.

The Stingray had T-boned Silver Boy, and now both cars seemed to be locked in some sort of activity that looked similar to bumper cars. The other participant had seemingly vanished.

Ari didn't waste what she considered an escape opportunity. Ignoring each spasm of pain as she moved, she reached into the backseat, her fingers scrabbling for the nearest object. She shoved her cell phone into her pocket, and then snatched the white box, no longer worried about being careful at this point.

Getting out was tricky. She apparently went straight into some lamppost, and the entire hood was crunched. Metal had folded around the post a little ways, a testament to the car's momentum. Ari pushed what was left of the driver's door out and stumbled out into the cold night, breathing hard. Her breath came out in little white clouds, and she nearly panicked when she felt something warm dribbling down her forehead. Upon further inspection, her fingers came away sticky, and she closed her eyes, unwilling to see the crimson liquid in the light of the nearest post. Then she checked the streets again which had gone quiet.

Both the Stingray and Silver Boy were gone. Snow fell all around, coating the evidence of the accident. The lack of activity was probably because that she was not on a major street, which was apparently fortunate in the end.

Ari checked to make sure that the pistol was still in the holster before setting out at a slow pace down the street. She knew that it was generally a bad idea to walk away from the scene of an accident, but she had a gut feeling that if she did stay, Silver Boy would easily find her and the box again.

Ari checked her cell phone. She got service and a dial tone, but the lower half of the phone had been mangled badly. She tossed the useless device over her shoulder, and winced at the tinkling of glass as it went into the already-broken windshield. She wondered if car insurance covered accidents in foreign countries. Probably not, so it would be hopeful to think that maybe John had the car insured.

She didn't see the thin blood trial she was leaving behind in her wake.

Ari didn't pay attention to the direction she was walking in or to the passage of time. The fireworks in the sky marked midnight, after what seemed like hours but must have been minutes. Every part in her body protested the slow walk she had been maintaining. She idly wondered if she looked like she had just come out of a horror movie, because she knew she certainly felt like she did.

_Click._

Ari let out a whimper and raised her arm and hand to protect her eyes from the sudden appearance of headlights in her face. Ducking her face down, she heard the clicking as the car door opened, and then the crunching of snow underneath feet as what she guessed was a man approached her cautiously.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but do you need help?" he asked, stepping in front of the headlights so that they were out of her eyes.

"Yeah… I think I need to see a doctor pronto," she said, trying to place his accent. The man certainly wasn't British, but he didn't sound American either. She lowered her arm and looked up at him, but couldn't see the face because of the powerful lights behind him. "Who are you?" she finally asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"Someone who can help you," the man said in an enticing manner.

There was a sudden _crash, _and the headlights went out. As her eyes adjusted to the dark, Ari realized that it was Silver Boy sitting in front of her. The Stingray retreated for another strike, and Ari knew it was time to hightail it this time. She stumbled backwards as she tried to get away, but fell to the ground.

With an oddly familiar whirring sound, Silver Boy's plates began sliding back, and he… no, _it,_ began to fold and increase in size. With a roar of anger, the giant robot swiped at the Stingray, which retreated fast enough to avoid the swipe.

Ari took that as her cue to leave. The giant robots were back, and trouble was usually not too far behind. She scrambled to her feet as fast as she could without incurring too much pain. She ended up shrinking back as the Stingray also transformed into a robot, and the two of them fell to the ground, locked in battle. She gripped the post for dear life as the earth itself shook from the force of the landing.

A person would have to be dead to remain completely oblivious to the fight.

Ari slipped past the post she'd been using as cover, and then panicked when she heard the roar of car engines. A quick glance revealed that Silver Boy had ditched the Stingray, and was back in his car form and in pursuit.

Swearing, Ari limped as fast as she could, but it was a joke really… Silver Boy caught up with no problem. A large hand came out of nowhere and swatted at her, sending her flying into the snowy street. Before she could get up however, Silver Boy transformed again, and then pinned her down underneath.

The box flew out of her cold hands and skittered away a few yards from the confrontation.

"_Where is it?"_ the creature roared at her, making her eardrums throb in pain and her brain wonder what the hell Silver Boy was talking about. Getting angry when she didn't immediately react, it let out another roar, increasing her headache. Was it the box he wanted? She did have enough consciousness to wonder why Silver Boy hadn't seen the box go flying if that was what he wanted. Was it blending in with the snow or something?

"_It_ is right here, buster," she snapped, raising the pistol straight at Silver Boy's face. She squeezed off one shot, and could only stare in wonder as the creature jerked back in surprise and pain. She could faintly see the outline of where the bullet had pierced Silver Boy's 'nose', and realized that this was what John had meant by 'larger-than-normal' targets.

She was going to _kill_ John once she got back and got her hands on him, specifically his neck.

"Arianna!"

She slowly propped herself up on her elbows as Silver Boy seemingly retreated from her slightly, still in pain. She looked slowly to her right and vaguely recognized Captain Will Lennox standing in an alleyway nearby, reaching out for her. He and Epps, and the few other guys with them, were wearing a strange sort of armor; she didn't recognize the insignias. He gestured furiously to her, but she shook her head, trying to communicate that she couldn't. When he mouthed 'why', she gestured along her body and pretended to be turning a steering wheel.

A crash snagged her attention again. There were two large robots ganging up on Silver Boy. She could see that Silver Boy was torn between fleeing and stealing her box. The large black (was it black? She couldn't tell) robot was now serving as a barrier between Silver Boy and her, and then eagerly met the challenge when Silver Boy lunged for her.

Ari slipped on the last patch of ice in her scramble backwards, which had been a vain attempt to get as far from the droid death match as fast as possible, and just let her head collide with the pavement. She was way too tired and too cold to keep this up.

Suddenly all was still again. Ari forced her eyes open to see that Silver Boy was gone, and the Stingray was gone as well. The all-too-familiar black GMC truck was sitting innocently on the side of the road as a flash of dull yellow touched the edge of her vision.

The truck was beginning to haunt her.

"Arianna? Oh, God, you better be okay or Alexis is going to murder me for this," she heard Will say as something gently pushed her up into a sitting position.

"The robots…" she began.

"Are friendly. They're not going to hurt you okay? Sideswipe and Ironhide were watching you the entire trip, and stepped in when the D-con came in," Will said, gently brushing snow off her back. She felt woozy as he kept supporting her. "Graham, I think that's the box that we were supposed to get… make sure it's packed away safely," he ordered to someone off to the side. "Yes Ironhide, I'm sure she won't tell," he added to someone, the giant robot Ari surmised, off to the left.

"What the hell are they?" she asked as Lennox and Epps laid her back down and then picked her up carefully so that a third person could slide a stretcher underneath her.

"They're Autobots, and they're the good guys," Lennox said, brushing her hair from her face. "Ratchet is going to help you now; don't fight him and you'll be okay. He's going to take you somewhere safe so we can get you proper medical attention…" Lennox said, his voice trailing off as he spoke to another third party that Ari couldn't see.

"Huh?" Ari said, just to catch Lennox's attention.

"Easy there. After you're feeling better, we'll do proper introductions okay? Don't worry about stuff like that for now," he tried to reassure her, but she was wide-awake now.

"Whoa, hang on there," she said, gripping his sleeve and stopping him. "These giant robot… I mean Autobots, how long have they been here? On Earth I mean."

Lennox sighed, and said, "Bumblebee has been here since 2003, Optimus, Ironhide, and Ratchet have been here since 2007, and Sideswipe has been here for about a month. You've briefly met the first four before, but your doctor managed to convince you that you were hallucinating the entire time."

"That… _cheat_," Ari hissed, abruptly sitting up. She swore when something in her back cracked, and then Lennox slowly lowered her again. "When I get back to the States…" she began.

"You're probably going to take public transit for a year. I know I did," Epps interrupted, grinning after cutting off the oncoming death threat. He glanced at Lennox and asked, "When and where do you propose she formally meets the Autobots?"

Lennox ran a hand through his hair as two men picked up the stretcher and loaded it onto the back of the Hummer. "Somewhere isolated and soundproof. She hasn't had a good first impression with them," he answered. "All right guys let's pack this up before we get unwanted questions. Arianna, is there someone other than William who knows where you are?"

"My captain, Mareski," she mumbled through stiff lips.

"Let's get her to a hospital so that Mareski can see that she's all right, and then we can get her to a shelter so we can check for any unusual damage," Lennox was saying, his voice growing fainter as more figurative cotton formed in Ari's head. Hmmm, a nap seemed really good at the moment…

--------------

"If she dies, then I'm going to hold you and your buddy responsible, Lennox!"

"She's fine! Look, she's waking up right now!"

Fuzzy images penetrated her brain as Ari forced her eyelids open. Mareski was the first thing that came into focus, and he looked _mad_. Lennox was the second thing that came into focus after that, and he looked wary; probably because of the verbal thrashing he'd just endured from Mareski. "Lexi?" Ari asked hopefully, turning her head on the pillow to get a better look of her surroundings.

"Sorry, Alexis isn't here… she hasn't even heard of what had happened yet," Mareski said, looking relieved that she was all right. He scowled at Lennox and said, "If you weren't a higher rank, I would have attempted to court martial you… I don't know how, but I know you were involved…"

"S'okay captain, he, uh, found me after the car crashed… I hit an ice patch," Ari said, her head slowly clearing up. She worked to prop herself up, and Mareski made a sound of disapproval but helped her anyway. "Anyone know how much longer I've got to be in here?" she asked.

Mareski hesitated, and then said, "The doctor who treated you and the EMT who brought you in both insist that you stay for at least two weeks before you even think about attempting flight again. It just so happened that Control said we were going to stay here April, May at the latest." He looked away muttering, "Although why _anybody_ is listening to the EMT to begin with is beyond me…"

"We take in all expert opinions into account," Lennox said stiffly. He glanced at Mareski and said, "Unless the Air Force has an objection?"

Mareski scowled. "I'll be right back," he told Ari, and then stalked out of the hospital room.

"He'll be all right," Lennox said, taking the chair closest to the bed. "Listen, about the Autobots…"

"Let me guess. Secret right?" Ari asked, slumping back against the bed. She raised an eyebrow as a thought occurred to her. "How can you outrank Mareski? I thought you were a captain too," she said, watching him and noting that he wore civilian clothing.

"I was recently promoted to the rank of major, and yes, the Autobots need to be kept a secret," Lennox explained. "Now get some rest… you're going to need it when we introduce you to the Autobots, especially Ironhide."

"Why do I gotta meet them if they're such a secret?" Ari asked, gingerly touching the back of her head.

Lennox sighed, and said, "Because you were conscious enough to see them in their natural forms. It's better that you just knew than us hiring a psychologist to convince you that you were hallucinating because of the pain."

"Oh," she said, and was quiet for a few more minutes. Then she asked, "Does Ironhide have a touchy nature or something?"

"No," Lennox lied, hoping not to give her any more reason to stress out. "He's just, uh, not a people… bot."

"I won't rat," Ari assured him, and then closed her eyes, but didn't go to sleep right away. So, maybe she did tell a little white lie when she told him she wouldn't tell. This was just too good of a secret not to tell to Alexis. Besides, she couldn't handle that sort of pressure, keeping an international secret all to herself.

No need to tell that one to Lennox.

------------------

A/N: I know some of you wanted to see Ari's introductions to the Autobots, but it's going to be described in detail in Operation Jaguar, so stay tuned. :) I also apologize for any inaccuracies in location. To clear up any confusion, this is basically the New Year's surprise Ari received, and that 'Silver Boy' is Ari's name for Sideways.


	18. A Night Gone Deadly

Chapter Eighteen

A Night Gone Deadly

It was eleven thirty at night, but Jenna Peyton was still wide-awake. She leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the Marriot hotel room window, ignoring the little white patches as her breath hit the window. The entirety of Boston was laid out before her, lights twinkling like stars close to the ground but always far from reach. Behind her, friend and partner Jack Winters was waiting somewhat impatiently as the phone on the other end of the line continued ringing. She wasn't a sore loser; she was just upset that… she lost.

"Boss?" Jack asked as soon as the line was established. She turned in her seat and watched him turn slightly red and say, "Sorry, Tina, didn't realize it was you… well, you're not usually at headquarters!" His expression twisted into one of pure hatred as Tina said something to him, and Jenna raised an eyebrow when he drew a line in the air across his neck with a finger. She didn't know he hated Tina that much.

Jenna turned around and ignored him as he began bickering with Tina. One could put a whole country between them, and they would still find some way to argue. One could put Jack on an isolated island in the middle of the Indian Ocean with no cell phone or other means of communication on his person, and he would _still_ find a way to continue the argument. His tenacity was just as great as Tina's determination.

"Boss? Thank God, Tina was starting… yeah, yeah I know, respect for fellow teammates, might as well as tattoo it to my forehead since you are constantly reminding me…oh, sir, I would appreciate if you didn't do it literally," Jack said, paling at something their boss had said. His shoulders slumped, and said, "Well, it's really Jen who had the problem… okay, here she is."

Jenna accepted the phone and put it up to her ear. "Sir?" she asked, still staring out into the night sky.

"_**What's this about a problem with the police? Haven't you spoken to authorities to eliminate such matters?"**_ her boss demanded, voice partially muffled by the large cigar that was most likely in his mouth. He was referring to the email they had sent earlier that afternoon.

"We spoke to the Boston police department this morning about it," she said, absently twirling the phone cord around a finger. "They promised not to get involved, but there was a cruiser moving along and scared the suspect away before Jack and I could get him, and we were pretty close. I tried to slow the driver down to talk, but the idiot sped up and nearly ran me over." She frowned, and said, "We spoke to the chief about it. He thought we were trying to punk him or something puerile like that."

She ignored Jack's scowl behind her.

Her superior was quiet for a moment, and then asked, "_**Has this particular guy caused trouble before?"**_

"No, sir, but we, as in Jack and I, feel that this should be stopped soon, or the suspect is going to be spooked out of the city. To be frank, I really don't want to leave and begin the chase all over again," Jenna said while swinging her leg lazily against the armchair she was sitting in.

As to his usual habits, Pastucci was not sympathetic to her plight. "_**Peyton, you've been working for us and the government for God knows how long. The key here is to adapt to your surroundings, and make do with what you have. Manipulate the cruiser into aiding you by creating a perimeter or something like that. I don't know; use that brain that you were given at birth! Maybe that can help! And hurry up... the client is getting antsy the longer this guy stays out on the streets."**_

"Sir? This line isn't secure," Jenna said, a somewhat subtle attempt to inform her boss that anyone could be listening to his rant.

_Click._

Apparently she wasn't important enough to warrant a response to her comment.

Jenna sighed as she lowered the phone, and then handed it off to Jack. If she hadn't been so used to Pastucci's brusque manner, she would have had no problem coming up with a suitable retribution for his rudeness. But it was his rough way of saying, 'get the job done ASAP and good luck', and she couldn't hate him for wishing that… however oddly phrased it was or rude the tone sounded.

"So?" Jack asked, turning around to face her.

"The usual. We deal with the idiot first, and then get back to work before the suspect decides that it's time to hit the road again," she said, standing up. She looked out the window again, and then said "We shouldn't forget, but we'll need to do something about the cop so that he doesn't bother us after this."

"I don't know about you, but I've noticed that broken limbs is a popular method of getting an extended stay in the ER," Jack said, opening a duffel bag and pulling out a small handheld pistol. "We should have an EMT team ready… just in case I miss or something."

Jenna raised an eyebrow in his direction. "Mr. I-can-hit-anything thinks he's going to miss?" she asked, and Jack shrugged.

Jack ignored the last remark and said, "Okay, so something I've noticed is that the cop shows up when you're around mainly because I've never seen him before and I am taking your word for it. So what I was thinking, is that we stage a chase, and see if he decides to show up or not. But we got to make it look convincing, or he's not going to fall for it."

"Or he might just show up to humor us, specifically you. If that's the case, then I am going to laugh_,_" she retorted, but Jack could see that there was a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Well, either way, we're not going to find out just by sitting here," he said, loading the small weapon and tucking it away into his pocket. Then he went to the bathroom to change for the run they were going to do that night. Jenna on the other hand slipped out of her shirt, pulled out the slim bulletproof vest from her suitcase underneath the bed, put it on, and then put her shirt back on. Then she slipped into a dark jacket, one that would hopefully allow her to blend in with the darkness outside.

"Ready?" Jack asked, walking into the room. He was wearing ratty jeans, a ragged jacket, and a stained white T-shirt. Jenna checked him over to make sure his outfit somewhat resembled the last thing she had seen the suspect wearing. When that was done, he said, "Listen. If we end up screwing this whole thing up, try and get a look at the cruiser number and then we can do a run through the databases and maybe find a match. Once we do that, then we can get the message to the nut that we're trying to work on top-secret government business uninterrupted."

"Right," Jenna said, adjusting her glasses. "I'm ready, let's do this."

They left the room, and slipped out of the hotel unnoticed. They weren't trying to hide, just trying to cover their tracks so that the man causing the trouble couldn't trace them back to their only sanctuary in the city.

They walked. Jack didn't want to risk identification because of a vehicle that could have easily been ditched. "Okay," he finally whispered, pausing by an old church. The two of them knelt down by the fence, hidden away from the street itself while Jack pulled out a tourist's street map of Boston from his jeans pocket.

"Why a tourist's map?" Jenna hissed, glaring at the garishly colored map as though it and not Jack had offended her. "Why not something more useful like a real road map?" she asked quietly.

"Because I wanted a defined route for our run. We'll just deviate a little to make it look like we're not running on the same path," Jack explained. He pointed to a thick red line that appeared to run all over the city. "We'll keep to the Freedom Trail since it's close to the road, and we'll see it by the street lamps. We also won't have to memorize a complicated route or anything like that."

"Jack, only one of two things is going to happen tonight. Either your dumb plan is actually going to work, _or,_ it's going to fail and we're going to be running the same loop all night and be labeled as 'Boston's Very Own Tweedledee and Tweedledum' in the morning newspaper," Jenna said, reviewing the Freedom Trail on the map.

"You have a better plan that doesn't involve running in random directions all over the city all night?" Jack asked irritably. "There is a reason I had problems with gym in high school."

Jenna glared at him as she shoved a walkie-talkie into his hand. "No," she snapped. "Now go. You've got ten minutes to create a disturbance. Make it look like you're walking and counting money or something… that's what the suspect always does when I begin to tail him."

Jack grinned before trotting off into the darkness.

Jenna leaned her head against the low brick wall behind her, and closed her eyes to relax. Unbidden, the memory of what happened earlier that day came to mind, and she reluctantly decided to review it as carefully as possible.

Their target, the latest thorn in federal government's side, had been leaving a drugstore yesterday afternoon when Jenna attempted to move in on him with Jack blocking off the other side of the sidewalk. The man was walking straight into their trap too and was about to be caught, when a random police cruiser had shown up on the lane of traffic closest to the sidewalk in question. Jenna was pretty sure that in all her years of fieldwork, she had never seen a more violent or terrified reaction to the presence of a police officer than the one the target displayed. The man leapt away from the road, pulled a gun from somewhere, and fired off a few shots at the cruiser before tearing away on foot across the street and eventually disappearing altogether. In the ensuing panic of the public, the cruiser had pulled off a U-turn and tore after the suspect. Jenna pursued, not ready to lose a government fugitive to a mere police officer… it would have reflected poorly on her and her peers. So Jenna followed the suspect while Jack worked to restore order in the square where the gunshots had gone off. The suspect however had been thoroughly scared off, and while she lost him, she still found the cruiser about a block and a half away. Running out into the street to stop a car was really a New York City tactic, but she did it anyway although careful to stay on the crosswalk, and then placed both of her hands out into a 'stop' gesture. Instead of stopping however, the cruiser only accelerated, turning what was supposed to be a friendly chat into a dangerous, weighted game of Chicken. Jenna caved quickly and managed to scramble onto the sidewalk in time, including backing away further when the cruiser made it look as though it was going to pursue her onto the sidewalk. The cruiser then vanished around the next turn, leaving Jenna seething and cursing since both the target and the officer were gone.

A muscle spasm in the hand woke Jenna up from her sleep. Rubbing her eyes, she fumbled around in the dark for her cell phone, trying not to react to the stiffness in her back. When she flipped the phone open, the time read: 1:30 am. She'd slept for an hour and a half, and Jack apparently hadn't noticed yet that she wasn't chasing him. Keeping her complaints to herself, she stood up and then curved her spine inward to work out the knots that had formed while she'd slept. Then she climbed to her feet and pulled out a small flashlight for navigating to the sidewalk. She vaguely remembered where the Freedom Trail started, and headed in the general direction.

The Boston streets were somewhat quiet in this part of the city. Jenna suspected that it was going to get busier the farther along she went. The street lamps illuminated her path only for a certain distance, and then forced her to resort to her flashlight again when the path was plunged again into darkness. It was unusually cold that night… either that or she was beginning to get a little unnerved by the sudden silence that seemed to have fallen over the neighborhood.

She let out a small sigh of relief when she spotted another pool of light on the sidewalk. She drew back to a stop however when she saw whom was under it.

It wasn't Jack, but the suspect. He was standing outside a small 24-hour drugstore, using the light outside the store to pick at what looked like a bowl of chili fries. Jenna was torn; she could go either for the suspect and abandon Jack, or, she could call him to let him know about this, and then go in for the suspect.

She chose the former.

Jenna carefully pulled out her handgun, and checked to make sure it was loaded. The boss had implemented the use of hollow-point sabot rounds for this mission for one reason or another. Then she kept it at her side in a discreet manner. She slouched forward a bit, just to appear as another wandering vagrant off the street, and then walked forward. Her muscles tensed in preparation of the oncoming conflict… maybe if she cuffed him quickly and quietly he wouldn't put up too much of a fuss.

The approaching car engine however made her blood run cold.

She was about ten feet from the man when she turned to see light reflecting off a metal surface as a vague outline of a car began creeping up to the sidewalk behind the man. She shifted her body slightly; worst came to worst she would just disable the vehicle and then pursue the target.

Four things happened in quick succession.

Jack, having gotten bored of the chase an hour earlier, had taken a vantage point over the drugstore. He jumped down and landed on top of the suspect, sending the man down to the ground and causing an explosion of chili fries. The suspect pushed Jack off, spotted the cruiser and then ran, Jack right behind him. The cruiser wasn't having any of that, and lights and sirens were activated as the cruiser moved to pursue the pair. Not wanting to lose again and have Jack severely injured or killed by a sniper from behind, Jenna used her own weapon to target the back window of the cruiser.

There was a loud _screech_ as the bullet raked across the trunk before finally embedding itself in the metal, and the cruiser braked immediately at the appearance of another shooter. Jenna meanwhile was confused as to why the glass didn't shatter upon impact, but didn't have time to ponder it as the cruiser did a K-turn to attack the newest threat. Jenna yelped and swiftly retreated as the cruiser went partially onto the sidewalk to chase.

Jenna ran.

She used the flashlight in the beginning and tried to ignore the flashing lights behind her. Then she realized that the flashlight was giving her position away, so she waited until she rounded the corner found the familiar low brick wall and jumped over it before shutting the flashlight off. She didn't think the cruiser had been around the corner yet when she had jumped, so she prayed she was safe.

Jenna remained absolutely quiet as she heard the tread of the tires against the road come up slowly to the sidewalk. The sirens and lights were off, so she surmised that the cruiser was playing the same hide-and-seek game. She silently willed her heart to stop pounding… she had done this plenty of times on the training circuit, but it was always an identifiable target on the other side of the wall, not a crazy driver. She was also convinced that it was not an officer behind the wheel… they would never intentionally hunt someone down.

She cocked her head to listen. The engine was silent, and the normal cricket sounds had resumed. Despite that however, her instincts were on high alert. Something was still amiss.

She carefully peered over the top of the wall to look. The cruiser had vanished from sight, and the street was empty again except for the parked car down a ways. Jenna cursed the dark and her own jitteriness before pulling her cell phone out and speed-dialing Jack.

"_**Jen? You okay?"**_

"Yeah," she answered, relieved to hear his voice. "I lost the cruiser… I don't think it's a police officer behind the wheel because he just tried to kill me," she said, standing up and climbing over the wall to the sidewalk. "Should we rendezvous or are you close to getting the guy?"

"_**Actually, I lost him at the Laundromat. Then I, uh, borrowed someone's shirt because mine was coated in chili."**_

"Even I saw that he had the fries, and I was probably farther away from him than you were," Jenna said, making the critical mistake of lowering her guard and walking across the street, after checking that there weren't any cars.

She had to secede a little credit for the cruiser driver for not only taking advantage of her lowered guard, but for moving the second she stepped onto the road. The headlights flickered on only at the last moment so she could see what was about to happen. She cried out as the fender went straight into her gut, albeit not enough to kill her right away.

The cell phone fell out of her hand and flew away from her down the street.

Trying to move before being completely stunned, Jenna twisted around and crawled briefly so that she could get up onto her feet. The cruiser accelerated to keep up the chase, and easily passed her. She managed to come to a stop just as the cruiser moved perpendicular to her movement, cutting off her route.

There had been a barely audible crunch as the cruiser ran over the cell phone.

Jenna backed away slowly. The cruiser turned to face her, she backed away even further. A headache was coming, interfering with her concentration. If she wasn't any smarter, she would have assumed that the cruiser was preparing the killing strike since the driver was lining the vehicle up while inching forward. The engine revved, as though it was waiting for her to get to a respectable distance.

Was this normal for this driver? Sizing up civilian targets for driving practice? Jenna came up with another reason to get the number: to figure out the driver's identity and give him a dressing down for his stupidity. The government could have the satisfaction of removing another obstacle.

Her muscles tensed as she prepared to run. The engine revved again, as though waiting for that as well…

_Pchoww!_

Jenna dropped to the ground at the gunshot to avoid being hit as Jack came running into the street, wielding the lit flashlight around like a club. He looked terrible, with mussed up clothing and two fries still stuck in his hair. He aimed for the tires and began firing again, shouting, "Come on loser, beat it! Go home!"

Jenna counted her lucky stars that she had gotten out of the way fast enough not to be the next flattened thing on the road. Her elbow protested each and every movement, but the adrenaline rush drowned out the pain. She watched with wonder as the cruiser tore out of the area, the slight smell of burned rubber still hanging in the air. "Did you use those fangled sabot rounds or something?" she asked curiously, looking up at Jack.

"Yeah, but I freaking missed. I thought I was aiming for the tires, but instead I think I made a line of holes along the undercarriage or somewhere like that," he said, checking the chamber. "Idiot driver and idiot suppliers. Sabot rounds aren't good for little operations like this… they're more useful on bigger army operations. We aren't going to be hunting down massive mechanical targets like helicopters or something like that." He looked down at her and asked, "Do you need help walking or something?"

"No, but I need to see a doctor about the elbow… I think I hit it hard," she said, gingerly picking herself up off the ground. Jack provided support for her back to the sidewalk, where he began to lead her back to the hotel.

"We'll take the car and go to the hospital," Jack assured her as they moved along. "We really have to go to the extreme to get that guy off the roads. It's eat or be eaten, and I know for sure that I'm going to be the one eating. If the feds want us to chase this guy that they want, then _they've_ got to take the maniac out of the equation."

Jenna didn't say anything. Although he had yet to mention anything about it, she did in fact see the cruiser number. It had been a brief flash when Jack had been waving his flashlight around like a maniac. She was going to report it in herself, and then have the grim self-satisfaction of watching the driver being taken away by the government so he would stop scaring off the suspect and interfering with the investigation.

The cruiser number had been 643.

------------

A/N: This chapter is a sneak peek of an upcoming story that will be posted once Operation Jaguar is well underway. This sneak peek, as well as the story itself, takes place in the second half of the year 2008.


	19. Butterflies

Chapter Nineteen

Butterflies

It was a lazy, hot, summer afternoon as Sam ran the hose down over Bumblebee's filthy exterior. His parents were out grocery shopping, Miles was hanging out in a lawn chair near Sam, ogling Mikaela who was wearing only a bikini to beat the summer heat. It was unusually hot for that time of year and day, and Sam was tempted to spray himself down with the hose… or spray Miles down for the disrespectful looks he was giving Mikaela. She hadn't noticed the stares because she was sleeping on her stomach on the picnic blanket they'd spread out on the lawn earlier. Some food bowls still contained items, but Sam could see that the M&Ms were already on their way to becoming a multicolored soup in their bowl. They hadn't been rescued in time.

Sam jumped at the loud clank from the house beside his… the family was in the middle of constructing a new addition, and he still wasn't used to the innocent sounds of working machinery.

"Yo, Sam. Is that the crazy neighbor you were telling me about?" Miles asked, flopping his head to one side to get a better view. "The dude across the street in the X-Files T-shirt," he clarified once he saw Sam look up from where he was hosing the car down.

"What? Oh, yeah, the alien buff. Thinks he's an expert in all kinds of aliens, especially the aliens from Star Wars and Star Trek," Sam said, turning his attention back to washing the alien before him now. "He also thinks that it was Martians that ripped Mission City up," Sam added.

Miles snorted. "Yeah right. I can just picture little green dudes tearing a giant southwestern city up right now," he said, settling back in his chair to watch the neighbor. Then he said, "Sam, your friend is back with… ever think he noticed the dent in the side from that time we played 'Chicken' with Trent?"

"No," Sam squeaked as he heard Ironhide's familiar engine rumble coming up the road. He watched uneasily as the giant black truck settled into a spot of shade on the road, and then switch off. "Bee, why is he here?" Sam whispered.

There was a moment of silence, and then Sam grimaced when he heard the squealing of the radio as Bumblebee searched for appropriate lyrics, and then he heard, '_In the city the lion sleeps' _play softly from the radio.

Sam glanced at Miles, who had gone back to watching the neighbor struggle with pulling a package out of the mailbox. Apparently the truck wasn't interesting when it wasn't doing anything. "Where's Lennox?" Sam whispered back.

'_Citizen soldiers holding the light for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair' _came the answer softly despite the loud background guitar. Sam nodded, interpreting the answer as Lennox was away at work, and Ironhide had been left to his own devices since Sarah was attending to Annabelle. The Lennox home was more exposed to the sun after all, so Sam guessed that Ironhide was seeking a little quiet shelter from the sun.

Sam shrugged and went back to work while Miles alternated between staring at Mikaela and the peculiar neighbor, who was now hacking at his mailbox with a hatchet in a vain attempt to get at the package.

It was quiet for another few minutes.

A large, vibrant monarch butterfly flew lazily past the two boys, who ignored it, and drifted over to the black truck that was currently recharging. After hovering for a few moments, it landed with the lightest of touches on the side mirror.

Ironhide, who had been wary of Decepticons because they hadn't made any uprising in the last month, unfortunately had all his senses on high alert as he recharged in the peace and shade of Tranquility, California. At the lightest touch of a foreign entity, his sensors were tripped, and he flashed his lights and activated the car alarm in an attempt to attract attention… he couldn't transform because there were two unaware humans in the vicinity.

_Bweee, bweee!_

A squirrel that had been hanging out in the tree above Ironhide, munching on its acorns, jerked in surprise at the first horn blast. On the second blast however, the squirrel was startled so badly it slipped on the branch and fell down altogether…

Right into the M&M bowl. Mikaela screamed as the gooey chocolate liquid-mass suddenly splashed onto her, and stood up while trying to brush the squirrel and chocolate off. Miles suddenly found the neighbor boring and didn't try to hide his stare as Mikaela stood up and faced the two boys while trying wipe off the semi-solid chunks of chocolate… the squirrel had scampered away, easily dodging Ironhide's wheels as it shot back up the tree for safety.

Distracted by Mikaela's scream, Sam jerked to face her, his aim with the hose shooting over Bumblebee. The yellow Camaro watched with interest as the water shot a straight line for the unsuspecting driver of the tractor at the next-door house.

The man looked up in time to see a jet of water coming straight at his face. He had an estimated two seconds to react before the cold powerful spray hit him square in the face, blowing his work goggles off his face and out of the tractor. Blubbering in surprise, he jerked backwards in his seat… pulling the controls of the crane back in the process. The driver's coworker swore viciously as the tractor's load, a very small section of a house, was catapulted into the air and out of sight.

Meanwhile, Barricade slunk along the side-streets of downtown Tranquility. It had been exactly two Earth months, ten days, sixteen hours, twenty-three minutes, forty-six seconds since he'd been forced into hiding. He was too tired to think about it carefully… a pack of human younglings had finally plucked up the courage to challenge his authority. As fun as it initially appeared, trying to run down stupid human adolescents was too tiring once they caught onto the game and only made it more of a chore for him.

So he decided to lay low for a little while, and then he might do something drastic to get onto the human news and then disappear again just to irritate the Autobots. All he actually had to do was change the cruiser markings and power down when the Autobots were hunting him… that shook them off of him pretty fast. Then he could change his markings back. Of course, all the fun would be immediately taken out of the game when he opted for that escape.

Barricade finally settled in the shade of an empty home on the bustling edge of the center of Tranquility. The heat not only made the humans sluggish, but it affected him too. The air conditioner only worked on the interior, and he could only have so much energy to keep it constantly running…

_Bam!_

One moment he had been settling down, the second he was covered in human construction material. Alarmed at the sudden 'attack', he blared the sirens and accelerated away from the scene, wondering briefly how the human adolescents had found him so fast, how they managed to get underneath his plating enough to scare him like that, and why he allowed them to continue irritating him. He ignored the vehicles that were veering off course on the elevated major roadway to get out of his path… they were mere organics, and so were not important to him.

Simmons was in the oncoming traffic lane when he saw the rapidly approaching cruiser weaving between the two lanes of traffic, sirens wailing. It took him about a few seconds to realize that the cruiser coming was actually N.B.E. – 3, or Barricade as the Autobots called him. In a past life, he would have given pursuit. Today however, during the one time he was spending vacation in California, was not the day to pursue… Simmons no longer had government amnesty. Panicking and praying that he wasn't next on the Decepticon's hit list, Simmons jerked the steering wheel sharply to the left… causing the car to veer off the road altogether and into the extensive backyard of a CA family.

They weren't standing around at the moment… they'd been using a crane to lower the family motorboat onto the small trailer. Simmons yelled as his car shot forward towards the crane's operating system. The driver saw the car coming however and managed to scramble out in time to avoid the several-ton bullet aiming for him. The car pushed the crane roughly in one direction… sending the boat flying into the air as the chains holding it in place snapped.

The father eyed the crane driver irritably and snapped, "I _told_ you that the damn thing wasn't properly strapped in!"

Back at Sam's house, Sam was now giving Bumblebee the final rinse. Mikaela was calm now, and was wearing clean clothes this time. Miles had gone back to watching the neighbor, who was using a blowtorch to melt the metal of the mailbox so the package would be accessible. Hacking the wooden post to bits hadn't accomplished anything, so the alien-loving neighbor was still working at the real problem; the mailbox. He was alternating between the blowtorch and the hatchet now, with no real luck with either.

"I've just about _had it_," the neighbor swore, throwing the hatchet into the lawn with fury.

At the second the hatchet landed in the grass, the boat came out of the air and landed straight through the man's roof. Miles fell of his chair, startled while Sam and Mikaela jerked at the loud crash from across the street. The neighbor had jumped a few inches in the air, and then stared first at the gaping hole in his roof, then Sam and Mikaela who were watching him, and then back at his house. "Oh my God, a UFO landed in my house!" the man squealed with happiness, forgetting about the package that had finally fallen out of the mailbox onto the lawn. "A UFO!" he screamed, and began running towards the house.

Ironhide, who had taken refuge on Sam's driveway, made a sound of disgust at the neighbor's behavior. "Humans, it takes very little to make them excited," Sam heard the weapons specialist mutter in irritation before slipping back into recharge.

--------------

A/N: Short and a bit exaggerated, I know. This was inspired by the Youtube video: 'How A Butterfly Destroyed My Neighbor's Roof', and I know that the story loosely follows the video. I still recommend the video though. :) The first lyric came from _Singing In My Sleep_ by Semisonic, and the second lyric came from _Citizen/Soldier_ by 3 Doors Down.


	20. Sugar Fix

Chapter Twenty

Sugar Fix

_ Do not hide, confiscate or remove human's coffee, soda pop, energy drinks, chocolate candy, donuts, sugar, or other preferred food items as a joke or in retaliation for a prank or perceived prank. They will not take it well. _

–_Prowl_

"It's shameful really," off-duty USAF pilot Arianna Aliskevicz said in a sulky tone from her seat, her voice partially static in the headset that they were both wearing. She glared at government official Theodore Woodley and informed him, "Next time, I won't let you buy me off like that so easily."

Woodley shrugged. "It's a simple mission, and you've already met the Autobots before," he said, focusing on the pilots before them. "I've just got to warn you though that they've, um, had _quite_ a few additions since you last saw them after Jordan…" he added, knowing the fragile mentality of his 'assistant'. Aliskevicz's temperament was something of a semi-legend among the ranks and her competence was still under question from the superior officers.

He could feel Ari studying him critically as she sipped her Dunkin Donuts coffee. Her free hand, he noticed, was clutched possessively around the two bags that contained the bribe he'd used to get her cooperation… the payment being a dozen chocolate-glazed-chocolate-frosted doughnuts. "So," Ari said, breaking the silence, "this is the part in my life where you tell me what the catch is, why you're doing this to me, and what I get out of this."

"Doughnuts not enough?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Hey, this was the prepayment… as in, you get my cooperation in going along with whatever it is we're doing. The expenses are going to pile up, and we haven't started. First, I'm going to need my lunchtime caffeine fix, and this coffee ain't going to last until then. Second, I want an explanation as to what we'll be doing. Third…" Ari said, still glaring at him.

"All right, _all right,_" he snapped, interrupting her. "As you probably already know, Galloway was the NEST liaison until he was pushed out of the C-17 over the Egyptian-Jordan region, whereupon he resigned his post…" Woodley began.

"It's kind of hard to forget when a government admin gets shoved out of a plane because that sort of thing doesn't happen every day," Ari interrupted, sipping a little more coffee.

Gritting his teeth, Woodley chose to ignore the interruption. "_As I was saying_," he snapped, putting emphasis on the words to prevent further interruption, "the government keeps selecting an administrator to fulfill the necessary post, and for some odd reason or another, whoever is in the position never stays for very long because of, uh, compatibility issues or something like that. I was next to fulfill the position, and plan to take on a different approach than my predecessors," he explained carefully lest she misunderstand him or something.

"Did you volunteer or did you lose when drawing straws?" Ari asked curiously. "Lose as in, you drew the shortest straw when determining who was going next as the liaison?"

Woodley ignored her. He didn't know why her competence was in question. She seemed intelligent enough, seeing that she did properly guess the method of selection without realizing it. He wasn't going to give her the benefit of knowing though, and decided to leave her to speculate on her own. She may or may not was going to be upset enough with the specific job he had in mind for her.

"I bet you're also going to tell me why you wanted me all dolled up before coming," she added, pulling the doughnut bags closer as though she was afraid he'd take it from her.

"All right, here is what I want you to do," he said, turning to her as the large black helicopter they were in began to descend towards Diego Garcia. She raised an eyebrow at his facial expression. "I'm going to pay you for doing this, but here's what I want you to do…" he began to say.

----------------

It was time.

Sunstreaker cast a resentful look around the hangar, taking in the last minute preparations the humans were conducting to make sure that things were orderly for the new liaison. It was times like these that made him wish that the human government would just quit already and stop sending liaisons… they were nothing more than extra liabilities. Even the humans on NEST thought so as well. Already bets had been made to see how long the newest guy would last, the longest being seventy-two full hours.

Sunstreaker hadn't been in the mood to participate this time… he was still fuming that Sideswipe, his own brother, had left him out on the latest gag on a few new recruits. So Sideswipe was going to make it up to him somehow, but was waiting to see the new liaison first before causing trouble. The two of them were lurking in the main hall in their alt modes, both well aware that the liaison had to walk down this way in order to see Prime. If the liaison turned out to be an easy target, well, the twins might just break their promise to Prime about not causing trouble.

"_**Here we go,**_" Sideswipe muttered over their shared comlink as the sound of faint, wobbly footsteps penetrated the hallway. "_**I wonder if the liaison's okay… he doesn't sound too good…**_"

"He won't be once it's met us," Sunstreaker muttered back as the shadow of a human appeared as the liaison was about to round the corner. He was sure it was the liaison because he didn't recognize the biological signature…

It was a human female. She was dressed in a navy blue, white-striped business suit while wobbling in her heeled shoes and adjusting her 'glasses' as the humans called it. She was clutching a white styrofoam cup in her right hand while gripping a stack of folders in her left. Her brown hair was messy enough to put Mikaela's 'bedhead' to great shame, and it was all held back with a vivid butterfly clip. All in all, the liaison had been all dressed up to probably impress them so that it was easier for the government to boss them around.

Sunstreaker was _not_ impressed… at all. If anything, he was more irritated.

He could hear his brother snickering over the comlink, and, knowing exactly what to do, prepared to transform right when the dim-witted liaison least expected it. The brothers watched carefully and then tensed as the liaison caught sight of them.

"Lamborghinis?" the woman said, eyeing the vehicles. "Funny, for some reason I was expecting a Ferrari," she added after a moment of silence. She stopped in front of Sunstreaker and looked the front over as though looking for a license plate. Scowling, she muttered, "I thought Autobots needed license plates… you never know when they'd get towed…"

"_**Now!**_" Sideswipe hissed over the link. "Now while she's distracted!"

Sunstreaker snickered and then transformed, his perfect golden plates sliding back to allow room for his limbs to come forth. He could hear Sideswipe transforming behind them, and, in perfect synchronized motion, towered over the unlucky liaison in a way so that the mere femme could be in awe and be impressed by _his_ appearance. Sideswipe was only there to help add to the impressiveness of the display, but no need to tell him that…

Meanwhile, the female had stumbled backwards and was now staring in stark terror at the sight before her… or at least Sunstreaker hoped it was terror. He and Sideswipe were about to make her life here miserable after all, it was only fitting that she got a good view of her tormentors. Her face went sheet white and she had stopped talking too. But she didn't fall over, incredible considering she had just gotten scared badly and she was in unsteady footwear.

She spoke first. "Sheesh… don't _scare_ me like that… I nearly had a heart attack!" she said, placing a hand over her heart as though to check it was still beating. "Do you guys _always_ do that to every guy who comes through here?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Nope, you're the first," Sideswipe answered cheerfully as Sunstreaker began analyzing possible weak points on the liaison.

"Aw, I feel so special. Thank you guys," she said, her face a cross between happiness and a teary expression. She checked her wristwatch, and then said, "Well, _I'd _better be going because I've got a timetable to keep and soon you guys will too 'cause _I'm_ going to be instituting some schedules for everybody!" She offered a huge smile and said, "Later." Then she began to walk again.

Sunstreaker deflated in disappointment as Sideswipe copied him. He had been counting on the liaison running for her life… apparently she wasn't going to go quietly, as the humans put it. He began to take a step forward, intent on searching for Skids and Mudflap… _he _wasn't going to put up with some silly schedule after all…

"_Hey!!! Don't step on me__!!!"_ a high female voice from below suddenly shrieked.

Sunstreaker may torment humans, may derive some humor from their errors, but if there was one rule that Prime was dead serious on, it was 'no stepping on the humans'… _especially_ if the accident could be avoided. He yelped, unable to see where the human was because of his height. However that meant he stopped whereas Sideswipe didn't, and there was a great _crash_ as both brothers collided and fell to the ground, the whole area shuddering from the blow.

The first thing Sunstreaker became aware of was repressed laughter. Groaning, he turned his head to see the liaison standing safely on the sidelines, a hand covering her mouth as her shoulders shook from the effort. "I don't think I've ever seen an Autobot do a face-plant before, but that was _priceless,_" she said, allowing a few snickers out. "Too bad I didn't think to pull my cell phone out before and record that… that one million bucks on _America's Funniest Home Videos _would have been an easy grab."

"What… umph, are you talking about?" Sunstreaker growled, poking his head out from underneath Sideswipe.

"Yeah, we just scared you, not tricked you!" Sideswipe complained, adjusting his position as Sunstreaker tried to pull himself out from underneath.

"I screamed at Sunny, so I scared him," she replied innocently.

"How did you know my name already?" Sunstreaker demanded, momentarily forgetting to be angry at the informal nickname. If Ratchet had been talking to the last liaison about him behind his back…

"I dunno I just guessed a name 'cause of your gold paint. 'Course, now it's got a nice black line going down your face… didn't land square on your face then. So, _children_, here is the moral of the story; don't dish it out if you can't take it back'," the liaison replied before walking away, her gait now more smoother and practiced… as though the wobbliness earlier had just been for show. "Man, I need more caffeine or sugar… the stuff is practically necessary fuel," they both heard her say as she turned the corner.

"Please tell me she was kidding about the paint," Sunstreaker whispered as horrible thoughts ran through his processor.

"Um, you want a lie or the truth?" Sideswipe asked cautiously, eyeing the long, dark line that was marring Sunstreaker's gold surface.

---------------

"Congratulations on a job well done," Ari said happily to no one in particular. "Distracted the twins, got a free and personalized tour, _and_ acquired free doughnuts, all for no charge." She pursed her lips as she walked up to the conference room human door and then she stopped, thinking about something. "Maybe I can get a nap and go home after this," she murmured thoughtfully to herself. She shrugged and then entered the room.

"Yo, Woodley," she said, walking into the room… and then jumped back. Woodley had been talking to Optimus Prime, and she'd forgotten how _big_ Prime was. "Oh, uh, hi? This is awkward…" she said, ending her words in a mumble when she realized that Major Lennox was also in the room.

"What are you doing here?" Lennox asked tiredly, as though he wasn't ready for her antics today.

"I asked her to come to distract the twins so that I could get in here in one piece," Woodley explained, glancing at Prime. "Seeing that she's her normal self, it's safe to assume she didn't run into anyone…"

"Actually I ran into this gold bot and a red one, but I'm not worried about them… they were quite hospitable in fact," Ari replied, smiling.

"I'm assuming they left her alone… she's still alive after all," Lennox muttered as the hopefully brief meeting began…

It wasn't.

Woodley had arrived with a list of requests from the federal government, and each one required careful explaining to ensure that there was no confusion between them. Halfway through, Ari startled them all by allowing her head to slam onto the table, the coffee now a long gone yet cherished memory. She remained that way even when Woodley, Prime, and Lennox finished in early afternoon.

"Ari? Ari, do you want lunch?" Woodley asked, prodding her as Lennox stood up to leave with Prime. Getting no response, Woodley poked her in the ribs and said, "Ari?"

"Sugar crash… symptoms are well-known," Lennox observed as Ari slowly brought her head up to acknowledge Woodley, a faint smile on her face.

"Come on, Aliskevicz. We can get you some coffee at lunch, you can change out of the heels into whatever footwear you want that we have… in other words, no slippers," Woodley said, quickly adding on the last part when her mouth started to form the word.

"Coffee sounds good, lunch does not… where didja put my doughnuts?" Ari asked as she got to her feet with Woodley's aid.

"They're in the human recreation room, in the cupboard above the fridge with a few other snacks that should do for your after-payment. Here's the key to it," Woodley said, first handing her a small key and then allowing her to hang off his arm as they walked towards the mess hall. When they got there, she made a beeline for the coffeemaker.

"She's crazy," Lennox muttered to Woodley as they watched Ari get back in line for a second cup while working on the first. "Competent I suppose, but crazy."

"I spoke with Air Force Captain Preston, and she didn't seem to have a problem with Aliskevicz. In fact, she was the one who said that Arianna was off-duty and had relations with NEST, so I selected her," Woodley explained, glancing at Lennox. He looked up again when he saw Ari making her way over to their table.

"I'm going to the rec room to pig out… I've earned it," Ari said, sipping from the cup in her hand. The first one, Woodley noticed, was now nowhere in sight, but he didn't question it.

"Not going to eat a little bit of healthy stuff?" Lennox asked, glancing at the nearby NEST doctor as he talked to Ratchet's hologram. It felt odd, watching Ari blatantly defy the medics' rules without either party realizing it.

Ari snorted. "Healthy shmealthy. It's going to be chocolate all the way today," she said in a dismissive tone, waving off Lennox's concern. "I was woken up around one in the morning today, left at two, and been on my feet ever since. I _earned_ this."

Woodley opened his mouth as though to say something, but Lennox stopped him. "Let it go… if she gets caught by Ratchet, well, it's out of our hands," he said as Ari walked away towards the exit. "The worst thing that can happen is that she gets a lecture from Ratchet… she won't listen anyway. Trust me, we had to work together on several occasions."

Ari walked down the hall towards the human quarters, her head nodding to a beat that was only in her head. She'd never told Woodley, but she had ditched the heels in the conference room and had been walking around in socks since then… she'd snuck the socks in through a pocket in her suit. She had been so sure that he was going to catch her, but apparently Woodley was a little on the blind side when it came to little details like that.

Now _she_ on the other hand, had the eyes of a hawk!

She used the key that Lennox had given her to unlock the door to the recreation room, first slipped on a pair of boots, and then walked over to the cabinet in question. The first warning sign was that the door was slightly ajar… when it should've been locked. She held her breath as she opened it… to find the cabinet _empty._

Ari stood there, the minutes stretching as her mind scrambled to find a logical reason behind the foods' disappearance. Actually, her mind was just scrambled since she had had no other sustenance than the coffee. Trying to refrain from panicking at the loss of her precious treats, she checked the fridge and the other cabinets, attacking them with a hammer if they didn't immediately open.

"Okay, okay, Ari, think, think, where did Woodley say they were?" Ari muttered to herself, hoping to delay the effects of a sudden withdrawal. She wasn't like others, where the withdrawal effects came gradually; for her, they just came somewhat immediately when she was especially exhausted. "You gave them to Woodley, who put them in here… unless…" Ari murmured to herself aloud, just to help along with the thought process.

-------------

Woodley was in the process of being introduced to Skids, Mudflap, and Sideswipe when the hangar door burst open, and Ari came through… pissed. "_What did you to do to my stuff? I freakin' _need_ it to survive,"_ she snarled, snatching Woodley's shirt collar and pulling him close so that their faces were close to each other. "I know what sabot rounds do to Autobots but I don't think we want to know what effect it has on humans," she hissed to Woodley while Sideswipe began inching out of the hangar altogether. Lennox frowned when he spotted the Autobot twin edging out.

"Aliskevicz, there are no weapons permitted while on the premises…" Woodley began, but Ari cut him off.

"Sideways was the last thing to scare me senseless, so you are definitely _not_ going to the trick," Ari growled as Ratchet decided to venture his opinion.

"Miss Aliskevicz, may I remind you that 'junk food' is not crucial in any way to your survival? It actually increases your chances of severe health problems later in life," Ratchet said in a stern tone, catching her attention.

"For the record, I only listen to one physician, and that's the guy who patches me and my friends up. Come to think of it, I don't think I listen to him much either…" Ari said thoughtfully, and then gasped as a thought occurred to her. "_You_ took them, didn't you?" she demanded, turning on her heel to face Ratchet. "Why I ought to…" she snarled, the threat beginning to form on her mouth as she fished on her holster for a weapon of some kind…

"Hey squishy!" Sunstreaker yelled as he entered the hangar, Sideswipe close behind. Ari puffed up in indignation at the insult, and her hands curled into fists as she faced the twins. "Remember us?" he asked, coming to a gentle stop in front of the humans.

"Yeah, unfortunately," she snapped. "What do you want?"

"Oh, nothing. We wanted to give you and the Woodley human a live demo of our targeting systems, courtesy of Ironhide's training!" Sideswipe answered, grinning. When she scowled but remained silent, watching him carefully.

Satisfied that they had everyone's attention, Sunstreaker proudly announced, "For the record, we practiced earlier with a similar target, which is this brown bag!" As he spoke, Sideswipe displayed a small brown, paper bag between two 'fingers' and held it out at arm length.

Even from the distance she was at, Ari recognized the orange and pink logo on the side. "Don't… you… dare," she growled, feeling her body freeze up as though her very life depended on the small bag that was being held several hundred feet off the ground. "Don't… even… think about it," she added, placing two hands out in a placating gesture.

"But it's just 'junk food' as you humans put it," Sunstreaker said.

"Yeah, Ratchet said it's not good for you," Sideswipe added.

"Plus, you wrecked something dear to me too," Sunstreaker accused, powering up his preferred weapon.

"What the hell was that?" Ari demanded, lowering her tone as to not upset the giants holding her precious items hostage.

"My _perfect_ gold plating," Sunstreaker snapped, privately glad that he and Sideswipe had covered the mark albeit temporarily.

Ari didn't even mean to say it. The insult just slipped out. "Conceited much?" she asked sarcastically. She whimpered once she realized the insult and the implications…

They were intent on their demonstration after all. Sideswipe dropped the bag and Sunstreaker fired. The result was chocolate doughnut bits and paper bag scraps being blown everywhere, the sound of the explosion closely followed by a pained wail. After wiping chocolate off of himself, Lennox glanced at Ari, who had sunk to her knees in horror, hands clutching either side of her face. Her mouth was hanging open in shock.

"That is all for today's lesson in pinpointing accurate targets," Sideswipe announced cheerfully, and then he and his brother performed mock bows to a more or less appreciative audience.

"Okay…" Ari began shakily as she slowly stood up again. "Question, how fast can you run?"

"Why?" Sunstreaker asked suspiciously.

"Because I don't give a damn about size difference… you're _both_ going down, six feet under and in scraps!" Ari screeched, snatching for the dropped pistol and charging the twins. Sunstreaker transformed first and tore out of there, Sideswipe running after him before he too transformed. Both had an enraged woman after them.

"Umm…" Woodley began, looking at Lennox.

"Don't worry, this happened once after we pulled her out of a Decepticon attack in London. She's suffering from a small withdrawal… all we have to do is wait for the chase to wind down and then we'll go scrape her off the floor wherever she is… Captain Preston walked us through the first time over the phone, so we know what we're doing," Lennox assured him before walking off to take Woodley to the next part of the tour, Ratchet and Optimus behind them.

------------------

A/N: Just wanted to say that the story here was inspired by hummergrey's If an Autobot, do NOT do the following. For the record, I wasn't sure as to where the Autobots were with liaisons in that particular story, so I went under the assumption that the latest guy quit. One last thing that would probably help would be the fact that there is a rough 9.5 hour difference between Washington DC and Diego Garcia. Um, Transformers belongs to Hasbro, the plot line and rule in question belong to hummergrey, Dunkin' Donuts name belongs to the respective company, and I guess I own Ari and anything that hasn't been claimed yet… plus this turned out a little longer than I thought it would be, so I hope it's all right. Last thing (for real)… I took the word 'remove' in the rule, and interpreted it as 'remove completely from existence', just to clear things up.


	21. Cheating Death

Chapter Twenty-One

Cheating Death

It was past midnight in Washington DC, but Luigi marveled at how even then parts of the city seemed alive. At the moment he was in a taxi on his way to an airfield of all places. His companion, a longtime car thief named Twitch, was eyeing the ignition longingly as though he was on the verge of changing his mind about targets again. Luigi privately hoped that Twitch would stick to his original idea; after the episode with the eighteen-wheeler in Mission City, Luigi had attempted to change his ways. Two years of hard work went down the drain when Twitch arrived at Luigi's nice new home in Charlottesville Virginia, saying that he had a proposition.

The pair once worked together, way back in 2005 in Mission City. Twitch and Rodney had been in General Stanton's employ, and Luigi had been climbing his way up in the criminal underworld. Twitch and Luigi both had had an affinity for nice cars, preferably whatever just entered the country's markets.

Then the truck episode happened.

After he aided Sergeant Wilson in the little fiasco with the barracks, Luigi had moved south to Virginia, where he was happy in Charlottesville and there were few trucks. Life was perfect.

Then Twitch showed up a month or so after Jordan, turning Luigi's world upside down. Somehow, according to Twitch, it took Twitch about five seconds of absolute terror to switch from stealing cars to stealing more ambitious targets: small airplanes. What swayed Luigi was the fact that planes apparently sold for more in the black market.

So, after a week of targeting small biplanes in Charlottesville, Twitch was up for an even more ambitious project: capturing the crown jewel. Turning in a small military fighter would cause the market price to skyrocket, and so far only three or four people were able to pull it off successfully. In other words, not getting caught red-handed. Many had tried, very few succeeded.

Luigi knew from previous experience that fighter jets were a whole other ballpark, especially since he and Twitch were waltzing into Stanton's territory, again. Twitch seemed to have no qualms about going after a military jet especially since he already knew which specific jet he was going for. According to Twitch, there was another friend, not Rodney, who was a successful businessman. This friend had an account on the networking website called Facebook, and one of his 'Facebook friends' had a sister-in-law in the military. This sister-in-law got a hold of a picture of an F-22 Lockheed Martin Raptor jet that was painted purple. Picture went onto the Internet and became a hit. Twitch saw the purple jet, knew that it was a rare kind, and wanted to go after it.

Perhaps that was why he was unusually grumpy tonight. He was going on a suicide mission with a nutcase calling the shots, plus his payroll no longer included generous payments from Stanton anymore.

"Are you ready?" he asked Twitch, who nodded nervously.

"If I wasn't so scared of cars right now, I'd ask if you wanted to switch targets," Twitch replied, looking faintly sick. "I've seen those jets up close. They're huge. We'd need to blackmail a pilot into helping you become familiar with the controls."

"I thought you told me you knew how to fly one!" Luigi hissed, mindful of the taxi driver.

"No! I said, 'Good thing to know that you know how to fly these things because you were around them all the time in Mission City and you practically live right next door to a bunch!'" Twitch shot back.

"Just because I live near them doesn't mean that I know how to fly them!" Luigi snapped irritably.

"Good thing I pulled the pilot roster before I left last time. One of those guys owns a beautiful Mustang," Twitch said in a forlorn tone as he pulled out a wrinkled piece of paper. He studied it in the light from the street lamps as they whizzed past. "No females; I recognized one of them last time and I don't want an awkward revisit," he said, studying the list. "We could try and blackmail this Maxwell guy. He seems like the one who's the least likely to cause problems… if that made any sense."

"We find the plane first," Luigi grumbled as the taxi began to slow. "_Then_ we'll find this Maxwell person of yours." He began to gather his things as the taxi finally stopped.

"Sure thing boss… whoa, I'm not going out right away," Twitch said, suddenly ducking down underneath the window. "No, sir. You'll have to wait because there is absolutely no way I'm going out right now."

"Why not?" Luigi asked his curiosity piqued as he got out of the taxi to get a better look at the curb on the other side of the vehicle. He saw a young man and woman, and the man was carrying a sleeping boy. Other than the fact that they were walking around in the dead of night, they seemed like any other ordinary family. Luigi drew the conclusion then that Twitch must've stolen a car from them. He waited until the trio had walked by before giving the 'all-clear' signal to Twitch.

"Dare I ask what that was all about?" Luigi asked quietly as he headed towards the base entrance with Twitch close behind.

"I recognized the woman's face. Hair's different though. She nearly pulled my shoulder out of the socket when I attempted to take her car last year. Turned out she had a rental," Twitch whispered as he watched the woman's retreating back. "Her pal _nearly_ caught me, but it isn't the same guy. I don't recognize the kid either. Anyway, she said if she caught me again, she was going to shoot me on sight."

"Harsh," Luigi muttered.

"Yeah, I know. I always thought girls couldn't stomach any kind of violence," Twitch muttered back. "That's why you always see guys coming to their rescue."

"How many movies have you been watching?"

Twitch shrugged. "I dunno. I usually watch what I can through windows. Free viewings."

Luigi rolled his eyes. Twitch was always that desperate.

Getting inside the base was harder than securing the taxi ride there. The front doors were locked, so Twitch decided to take a shortcut in an alley that he'd utilized the last time he was there. Luigi agreed to go along, that is until he saw what this 'shortcut' entailed.

"_No!_" he snapped after Twitch had removed his sneakers and began the ascent up the side of the base. "There is _no_ way in hell that you can make me go up there!"

"There'll be a pack of guards coming around in five minutes. Stay or go, captivity or freedom, it's your choice," Twitch said as he turned back to climb the wall via the window frames and sills. "Just copy me exactly, and you'll be good to go," he added as he pulled himself up to his second set of windows.

_I can't believe that I doing this for cash,_ Luigi thought miserably as he took his own shoes off. Twitch was convinced that they would have a better chance climbing if they didn't have shoes to restrict their feet, but then again, he was also a guy who climbed trees and buildings as a part of his lifestyle. To pass the time and to distract himself, he thought about what he would do after this heist… assuming he lived to tell about it. He would go back to Virginia with his portion of the sale money and perhaps try and settle down with a girl or something. No more thieving after this. The military was a lot more observant when it came to their property than a civilian was.

At the observation deck, Twitch turned and pulled him up the rest of the way. Luigi fought back his exhaustion as Twitch led him to the door at the end of the deck. "We're going to secure the pilot first," he whispered as Luigi watched him work away at the lock with several hairpins and an undoubtedly stolen credit card. Then they walked into the temperature-controlled hallway. Thankfully it was empty.

Walking into one of his former compatriots would be extremely awkward.

"Where to now?" he whispered as Twitch paused, listening carefully.

"Wherever the jets are. Last time, I came in through the roof. This time, I didn't want to get stuck again, so, well, here we are," Twitch muttered back as he scanned the empty hall. "Let's go… grab that," he said, pointing to a broken beam that was propped up against the wall.

"Why?" Luigi asked as he took the beam and hefted it, testing the weight.

"We can't afford to have any witnesses. Whack anyone who sees us," Twitch muttered, arming himself with a thin metal rod that looked suspiciously like a fluorescent light bulb Luigi often saw in classrooms. Were the personnel working on something here? Did Twitch realize how poorly armed they were against men and women who were _trained_ to whack others, for lack of a better word?

Eh, Twitch would learn once a witness spotted them.

They were sneaking past the hangars while looking for Maxwell when they heard the voices. Twitch curiously paused in his tracks and carefully dropped to the floor, pressing his ear against the crack between the door and floor. Luigi carefully placed his own ear against the door itself to listen as well. He could hear two male voices and one female, all in the progress of an argument.

_Crack!_

"_Yeeoowww!!!"_ Twitch howled as Luigi quickly removed his foot from Twitch's already broken finger. The voices on the other side of the door immediately stopped, but nothing else happened in the horrible seconds after Twitch's scream stopped echoing around the hall. Luigi pressed his ear to the door, but couldn't hear anything else anymore. He felt his adrenaline spike a little more.

"Twitch, come on, we're close," he muttered, gripping his beam. Hopefully none of the three people would be armed. Twitch, despite the fresh injury of his broken finger, snickered as he gripped his light bulb in a club-like fashion. "If they're pilots, we'll just take out two, and jump the weakest."

"Wait," Twitch said suddenly, and Luigi stared at him as the bulb began to give off a weak glow before flickering out of existence. There was a moment of silence before Twitch said, "Freaky. I call dibs on the freaky bulb."

"Whatever, let's go!" Luigi snapped, and then used his bulk to shove the hangar door open. Despite the rough entry, they attempted to sneak in unnoticed.

Luigi froze as a bright beam of light flashed right into his eyes. He tensed, waiting for Twitch's battle charge, but Twitch was just as stunned as he was.

"Who are you?" the woman asked as she lowered the flashlight and pointed it at their chests. Once Luigi was able to blink the spots out of his eyes, he could see that the moonlight from outside was shining in through the open hangar door and outlining the bodies of what he hoped were two F-22 jets as well as the woman behind the flashlight. Outside, he could see other buildings, and suspected that was their way out.

"We are technicians… working to fix the lights!" Twitch said, holding his light bulb up as proof.

"At midnight?" the woman asked skeptically.

"Well, what are you doing up at midnight?" Luigi snapped, hoping that this wasn't a woman who knew him. He knew it wasn't Stanton; she would've clubbed them both with the flashlight before asking questions.

"I'm lecturing a _subordinate_ for his misconduct," the woman snapped as a few lights overhead suddenly clicked on, bathing a small part of the hangar in dim light. Luigi blinked as the woman shut the flashlight off and glared at them. She was dressed in loose gray clothing with the USAF logo stitched on the breast pocket, and her dark brown hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail. Fortunately for them though, there was a gleaming purple F-22 to the woman's right.

This was going to be too easy. They didn't even have to find Maxwell because two pilots were standing right in front of him.

"You're a _girl?_" Twitch asked, surprised.

"A dim bulb finally brightens," a man, Luigi assumed the misbehaving subordinate, said as he walked from behind the nearest F-22. If it came to a fight, perhaps the man wouldn't mind knocking his superior out to help them; the girl looked a little too goody-two-shoes for Luigi's taste.

With a buzzing sound, Twitch's florescent bulb suddenly flared to life as the subordinate spoke, startling Twitch. "So, who is the dumber of the two?" Twitch tried to ask casually, the question so painfully random that the woman raised an eyebrow.

"He is," she said quickly before the man could react. He scowled at her as she nodded in a faux saddened expression. "Why?" she asked curiously after a moment.

"Okay, um, I got her and you get him. Knock her out, and help me restrain him," Twitch muttered, brandishing his club. As far as Luigi could tell, neither the man nor woman was armed, but both looked annoyed. The man casually walked closer to the woman so that both Twitch and Luigi would have to attack them both at the same time. Did the guy have supersonic hearing or something?

"Uh, what are you doing?" she asked suspiciously as they both approached her and the man. She flicked a questioning glance at her companion, who shrugged as he gently pulled her back from the advancing pair. Luigi felt his gut twist as she began to reach into her pocket, fumbling for something small.

"Shit, she's got a cell phone!" Twitch squealed, and in the throes of a panic attack, he charged them both while leaving Luigi in the dust. The man shoved her off to the side and easily dodged Twitch. The woman completed a shoulder roll, easily avoiding Luigi's swing as she pulled out not a cell phone, but a small gun. Twitch screeched at the sight of the weapon and that propelled Luigi to take a swing at her with his club.

She fired, but the last thing Luigi saw was that she hadn't aimed at him.

The light switch went out in a shower of sparks, plunging the small battlefield into darkness again. Luigi stopped moving and heard Twitch copy him. The only sound now was their breathing. The purple jet was around here somewhere, and he wanted to get so they could both get the hell out of there, pilot or no pilot. They could try to do a crash course in learning to fly the thing if necessary.

"Hey Luigi," Twitch whispered, his voice echoing around in the darkness. "Follow the sound of my voice… I found it! I'm sure it's the right one because the surface feels different than normal."

"What about the subordinate?" Luigi asked as he began inching towards Twitch's voice.

"Hang on… I think I see him." There was a moment of silence, broken by the sound of shattering glass. "Okay, got him!" Twitch said eagerly. Then, "Hey lady, if you're still in here, don't you dare report us until we're on the runway got it? Or I'll call the cops on you!" Luigi heard Twitch shout, his voice echoing eerily around the hangar.

"That made no sense at all," Luigi muttered to himself as he suddenly felt something fleshy and wobbly. Startled, he jerked back, flipping the fleshy thing forward sharply.

_Crack._

"Owww…" Twitch wheezed out as he clutched his injured finger for the second time that night. "You're killing me here man," he whimpered as he began feeling around for the ladder that should have been there. Luigi heard _tinkle, tinkle,_ and a few more muttered curses as Twitch walked all over the glass shards barefoot. "I wish I could see a damned thing in this frigging dark," he muttered as he managed to catch Luigi's shoulder and brace himself. "Here, hold me for a sec," he said as he took his other hand off the jet to try and feel his foot.

It was Luigi who heard the whirring sound first. It sounded familiar, tickling the edges of his memory, but at first he shrugged it off. It wasn't until there was a _click_, and they were both bathed in an eerie red glow, as though an emergency light had switched on behind them.

"Eww," Twitch whimpered as he examined his left foot with his eyes. "You were on to something with the socks," he added as he carefully set that foot down to examine the other one. He paused, and asked, "What's that buzzing sound?"

The buzz was slowly getting louder, as though being charged as both men paused, and looked at each other. Twitch looked as though he couldn't decide whether to scream, cry, or run, or a combination. Luigi looked up at where the red light was coming from, and felt his gut twist when he looked up to see a pair of red… eyes? At least the truck-giant-thing had nicer eyes, these were full of malice.

The glowing orange thing that was slightly below the eyes had to be the business end of a cannon of some sort.

"_RUN!" _Luigi roared just as Twitch remembered he still had control over his legs. They both jumped to the side, and were blown even farther back when the cannon discharged and the blast rocked the building. As he was scrambling back, Luigi saw the purple F-22 doing the same transforming gimmick… the same gimmick as the truck!

They were all the same!

Twitch, plagued by a similar yet different memory, screamed once more as the purple F-22 went from a harmless Internet sensation to another menacing creature like its silver brother. "_Nothing is safe! Invasion!"_ he screamed as he abandoned Luigi on the tarmac. Luigi managed to get up and run in time to escape another blast from the purple one this time. Luigi knew when to jerk in another direction because the _boom_ always indicated when the cannons were going to go off.

They kept going. Even when they left the expansive airfield altogether, they kept running. It got momentarily worse when they heard the engines of an F-22 following. Luigi was instantly taken back to the Nevada desert when he'd fled one of Stanton's enraged pilots. Then and now the pilot, or in this case the creature, kept taking shots in the split second that they were out in the open.

"In here!" Twitch yelled, forcefully yanking open the backseat to a parked police cruiser. The white numbers '643' caught Luigi's eye just before he dived in as well, Twitch climbing over him to slam the door shut.

They sat there for a few moments, Twitch whimpering and Luigi listening to the F-22 as it circled above, waiting like a giant bird of prey for them to come out of hiding. After a few minutes though, it finally turned around and headed back to base.

"Whew, talk about a close call," Luigi said, struggling to regain control of his heartbeat and breathing. Twitch was only able to make a few whimpers as he continued to rock in his seat. Luigi looked up at Twitch and said, "It can't get worse from here, relax."

As if on cue, the cruiser started its engine. Automatically, both men snapped their heads towards the driver's seat. "_POSSESSED!_" Twitch screamed and made a mad dash for the closest open exit, which happened to be the suddenly open car door behind Luigi. He collided with Luigi, sending them both out the door and back into the night. He screamed some more when someone hauled him off of Luigi, and then Luigi himself yelped when someone else took his wrists and secured them with metal handcuffs.

A flashlight shined in their eyes for the second time that night, and Luigi recognized both the man and woman from when he and Twitch had arrived to the base, but with no child this time. The woman especially looked angry as she pulled Twitch unceremoniously away from Luigi. Twitch seemed to have forgotten his special evading technique which was unfortunate because in the excitement, the woman forgot to handcuff him like Luigi's captor had done.

"Shut up!" she yelled, and Twitch promptly obeyed. Breathing hard, she said, "Thanks," to what seemed like the cruiser, which was still idling. To Luigi's captor, she snapped, "Rich, read them their rights."

"Um, okay, hang on," Rich said as he struggled to keep Luigi under control long enough to catch his breath. "Okay, listen. You both have the right to remain silent. You both have the right to a lawyer. You both have a right to…"

"I just had an embarrassing accident," Twitch said bluntly, interrupting Rich.

"Oh, gross!" the woman snapped, dropping Twitch in disgust as she looked for the 'mess', one that she didn't know didn't exist. In that split second Twitch jumped up, shoved the woman off to the side, punched Rich, and grabbed Luigi. Hauled to his feet, Luigi began to run after Twitch. A wailing of sirens alerted them to the fact that the possessed cruiser was now after them.

"Today is not my day," Twitch wailed.

Luigi didn't know about Twitch, but he was sure of one thing. Fate was not-so-subtly telling him to live a crime-free life, and since he wasn't listening, he was being plagued with cars and planes that turned into giant aliens.

* * *

Back at the Air Force base, Alexis Preston was twirling some hair around her fingers as Skywarp reluctantly sank back into his F-22 form, the nighttime entertainment gone. The emergency floodlights were on inside, illuminating everything. She looked up as Starscream slunk back into the hangar, a blast of air coming from the exhaust vents as he settled back down. Near where he was resting, Alexis could see the shattered remains of the florescent light bulb that one of the men had been brandishing like a club. "What was he striking at?" she asked, gesturing to the broken glass.

"He saw the outline of my hologram. It went straight through," Starscream replied quietly, as though he was worn out from the excitement too. Then again, he'd had an hour-long argument with her just before the men showed up.

"Okay, well, good night then," she said, sliding off the crate and walking towards the door. She pressed a small button that closed the bigger hangar doors, and then flipped the switch for the floodlights. She was about to leave when she heard Starscream speak again.

"Oh, and Captain? Our discussion is not over. We will continue tomorrow morning."

_Not if I can help it,_ Alexis thought darkly as she shut the door and went back to her quarters.

---------

A/N: To clear up any confusion, this takes place _during_ Operation Jaguar.


	22. Deli Distractions

Chapter Twenty-Two

Deli Distractions

_**2008**_

The streets of New York City were bustling with traffic as Robert Lansford navigated the streets, still bound for the harbor. Beside him in the passenger seat was his charge and escapee, Colonel Antonia Stanton. They weren't speaking to each other; the last words exchanged being the curses she'd thrown at him as he carried her away from the airport terminal. They really had nothing to say that wouldn't end in an argument.

Stanton was seething to herself. It had been a brilliant plan, justified by the excuse of her oldest daughter's high school graduation. She'd been suffering through the seventh month of her exile in the East China Sea when Wilson called on her daughter's behalf. Apparently she hadn't fallen out of favor with Chelsea, and her presence was desired at Chelsea's graduation ceremony. She readily accepted, and then began working out how to deal with Lansford, Keller's agent on the field. The plan had come during the physicals, and she'd noticed that Lansford had been wiped out at the end. It wasn't fair to the other Air Force personnel on base to make them go through her own rigorous physicals two days later, but to ease her guilt she'd gone through it with them. Naturally Lansford had to go too. After the workout, he'd dragged himself off to bed _after_ making sure she did the same.

What he didn't know was that of course Stanton had to keep up with physicals anyway, and she was walking around about an hour or so later. She'd told Vice Admiral Benson that she had been summoned back to the United States for something important. Unaware of her exiled status, he agreed to take temporary command, and she used a chartered plane to escape. She'd gone to the graduation, stayed for the family party afterwards, and then took a plane back to New York City. To be fair, it had been her intentions to return to the naval base, but in the airport she changed her mind and headed for a flight to Denver to visit an old friend of hers who was doing time for forging official documents. That's when she had the misfortune of running into Lansford, who was also going to Denver on a hunch after scouring her records. The ensuing argument had been so awful that someone was going to call security when Lansford did the disgraceful thing and picked her up and hauling her off to the car.

Stanton made a silent vow never to forgive him.

"I have to use the restroom," she announced, sending an innocent look over at Lansford, who looked distinctly upset.

"I'm guessing it's an emergency, right?" Lansford said, and Stanton refrained from smirking as his mind ran through all the implications. "I suppose you won't want to wait until we get on the ship," he said, looking thoroughly unhappy.

"Excuse me?" Stanton snapped. "It's not that I don't want to go later, it's that I have to go _now,_" she snapped, her crabby tone full of promise if he didn't acquiesce to her request.

Even though he was unmarried, Lansford had already witnessed plenty of children losing their tempers when it came to this sort of thing and the parents disregarding the request. Sighing, he managed to pull over and parallel-parked between an ominous looking black truck and a yellow Search & Rescue vehicle. "All right, but be quick," he growled as he unbuckled his seatbelt. "I'm going into the flower shop with you, just to make sure you don't try and escape or something."

"Yeah, that's about as far as you're going," Stanton added darkly as she walked across the sidewalk to the flower shop, Lansford catching up behind her and using the remote to lock the vehicle. She noted the girl behind the counter who was assisting Captain Lennox of all people near the bouquets. Stanton recognized a stumped Ironhide as he hovered over the girl's shoulder, putting her on edge, to watch Lennox's activity. She casually looked off to the side as she headed into the back. Thankfully they wouldn't recognize Lansford, and vice versa. "I won't be long, promise," she said to Lansford before walking into the small restroom and slamming the door shut.

_Yeah right._

The restroom had a window. Granted it led out into an alleyway, but it was better than nothing. Stanton had enjoyed her brief freedom walking around in America, and she wasn't going to give it up easily. She opened the window, and then used the filched car key from Lansford as an impromptu knife to cut through the screen. She prayed that she wouldn't have difficulty climbing through the hole, and then flushed the toilet. This would go down in history as her most desperate escape.

Finally free, she darted down the alley, knowing her escape window was quickly closing. Peeking out and checking both ways, she found that Lansford was still indoors. She checked her outfit, and was somewhat happy to find that she was still in passable civilian clothes with jeans, sneakers, a T-shirt and a light sweater.

Now it was time to ditch Lansford.

Walking down the street, she decided that it was time to add a little more to her guise. It was her facial features and hair that gave her away every time, and maybe her strict tone. As the CIA scumbag Pastucci would say, names only had power when there was a face to back it up with. A different face meant a different identity.

Stanton paused at a street vendor selling baseball paraphernalia. If Arianna Aliskevicz, a rabid Red Sox fan if there ever was one, _ever_ found out about this, she would never forgive Stanton for this. Stanton fished out a couple of leftover dollars and purchased a NY Yankees hat, and pulled her ponytail up to hide her hair. She didn't support any team; baseball wasn't her thing, but Ari was among those in the military who took the sport _very_ seriously, probably too seriously.

Stanton ducked her head down to blend in with the crowds, walking in the direction _away_ from the flower shop and crossing a major intersection, putting distance between her and Lansford. All of her belongings had been confiscated and were locked away in the trunk of Lansford's car, so she had no definite plan of action yet. So she settled for merely walking away from the flower shop, estimating that Lansford would have already figured out that she'd escaped. His problem was that she could've gone in either direction, and he would have no idea how much of a head start she'd had.

"Hey you!"

She jerked back when a teen, a high school senior by the looks of it, suddenly popped in her face. Before she could react, the teen immediately said, "The name is Spitz. Leo Spitz. You look like a conspiracy-loving type, so would you be interested in hearing something conspiratorial?"

_You have no idea how conspiratorial I can get_, she thought grimly, but visibly smiled. "Speak away," she said, smiling warmly. She prepared herself to get news about some 'little green men' theory for the fiftieth time during her trip. At the graduation party, Mission City was one of the most popular conversation topics.

"All right, you remember Mission City from last year?" Leo asked excitedly as he pulled out a leaflet from his backpack. Before she could reply, he continued saying, "Well, our government has been lying through their teeth about it. We have _concrete_ evidence that proves the existence of giant alien robots! There are _videos_ of these guys for crying out loud!"

Stanton briefly panicked, thinking that someone had captured a video of the barracks episode that led to her being in this position. Then she remembered Mission City and the incident at the Hoover Dam and assumed that the lanky kid was talking about that instead of what she thought he was talking about. "How sure that you saw what you think you saw?" she asked calmly.

"Damn sure. Go to my website, , which by the way _should_ be your daily source for UFOs, Aliens, and Conspiracies, and click on the videos link. I swear it's all there and it's all legit," Leo said, shoving the leaflet into her hand. "Then join the petition so that we can make our government more honest… and knock Robowarrior off the web at the same time!"

" 'Robowarrior'?" Stanton repeated, studying the petition outlines on the leaflet. "Sounds like a teenage videogame-master wannabe. Whoever this is, he's not worth my time. So, thank you, but no thank you," she said, handing Leo back his leaflet. "Please excuse me," she added, trying to step around him to continue her way. She hadn't forgotten that Lansford would be looking for her now.

"The guy is a thief. I would pay the cops big time to arrest him for stealing my stuff," Leo snapped crossly. He hesitated, and then stepped in her way again. "What about our government lying to us? We can't let them get away with that!"

"Boy, I'm on vacation. I'm trying to do anything but _think_ about the government. Besides, if they were lying about something that huge, maybe they have a pretty damn good reason for not saying anything," Stanton said coolly as she walked around him.

"What do you mean by that… whoa, check the size of that truck!" Leo exclaimed, his attention suddenly diverted from her. Stanton whirled around and recognized Ironhide at the front line of traffic at the red stoplight. She could barely see Lansford's car behind it.

"Shoot," Stanton muttered, and then, without thinking, ducked quickly into the nearest building, a deli of some sort. Inside, Stanton took in the chattering customers, the vibrant décor and the shouting workers behind the counter. 'WE GUARANTEE FRESH MEAT' screamed a banner behind the counter. A clamor at the counter caught Stanton's attention, and then laughed with the other spectators as the ordering customer made a dramatic pause, and then asked for mayonnaise in his sandwich… even after receiving a lecture from the man behind the counter. She turned away as a brief scuffle ensued, noting with satisfaction that Lansford continued driving on past the deli. Deciding that getting a quick bite was a good idea, she got into line as her heartbeat slowed. Even as a child she'd never loved the idea of someone hunting her.

"Next!" the grouchy voice from behind the counter snapped, and she stepped forward. "Welcome, what would you like to order?" the grouchy voice continued while its owner was bending down to ruffle around through the bins under the counter.

"I don't know, what do you recommend?" Stanton asked casually as the voice's owner straightened and faced her. Her jaw dropped; she would know that face anywhere. He sent her a puzzled look. "Simmons? How unbelievable to find you here," she said, a slow smile spreading on her face. Perhaps she _could _spare a moment after all.

"Oh God no," Simmons said as he took in her facial features. "This just isn't my day," he growled, gripping the counter edges. "Why the freaking hell are you here?" he hissed as another cash register opened, his coworker sensing the fact that Simmons was going to lose his temper with another customer again.

"I wanted something to eat. Is that suddenly a crime?" Stanton asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"In _my_ world, you just existing is a crime," Simmons shot back coldly, not caring that he just lost a bunch of customers. He didn't care; he hated working at the register anyway. "Wherever you go Antonia, trouble is sure to follow," he added, remembering that one time three years ago when he couldn't even escape the courtroom without getting his nose smashed in, his dignity shattering along with it. Then there was the time that Stanton had unknowingly followed him into Mission City with the Transformers. Looked how well _that_ turned out.

"I let you know when I've decided to be offended," she replied, sounding slightly miffed. "I would like the day's special please, no mayo, and a lemonade, all to go," she ordered, taking a brief guilty pleasure at being able to order Simmons around again.

Simmons scowled at her as though he read her mind and he was well aware of what she was thinking. He leaned forward and hissed, "No. You can go back in line to the other register if you're _that_ desperate."

Lansford a long and forgotten memory, Stanton leaned forward and whispered back, "Wouldn't that reflect poorly on you?"

"I don't care because I'm willing to sacrifice everything to get you out of my sight," he snarled back. The man behind the next register glanced at him and shivered when he recognized Simmons' murderous expression and then hoped that the customer being threatened was doing okay, he couldn't hear their conversation after all.

"Including the secret Sector Seven stash in the apartment basement?" she replied coldly, bluffing now. She had no idea if there was such stash in his basement, if he even had one. He just seemed to her to be the type to squirrel away important files for later use.

His expression changed to one of shock. "Who the hell told you about the stash in the basement? I want to wring their neck," he demanded, his knuckles going white as he gripped the edges of the counter top.

"You just did. Are you going to wring your own neck?" Stanton asked, not caring if she sounded hopeful.

"No!" Simmons snapped. "How did you figure that out?"

"I was just guessing," Stanton replied, raising an eyebrow. He was acting unusually jumpy for someone who had nothing substantial to hide. "Why, how bad are the Sector Seven secrets down there?" she asked. His attitude was setting her on edge.

"There aren't any!" Simmons snapped, leaning forward as though to pull on her collar in anger. "Now get out of here. I don't care about the consequences, just _go!"_

"No, I'm hungry! Besides, what would your boss say if they saw you acting like this?" Stanton asked, shaking her head in a disapproving way.

"My mother could honestly care less…" he began, but stopped when Stanton laughed harshly. He scowled and braced himself for the teasing that was sure to follow.

"You _live_ with your mother now? You must've fallen farther than I thought when I got you fired," Stanton said, grinning now. "It must be easier to have mother/son outings now, I mean you two must be close by now."

"She lives with _me_! Not the other way around!" Simmons shrieked, hell-bent on keeping the clarification straight.

"Right. That must mean you pay all the bills and support her and provide a roof over her head," Stanton said sarcastically. "Yeah, I think that you're working here to scrape together a decent amount of cash so that you can live on your own because living with her is driving you nuts. Correct me if I'm wrong," she said, silently daring him to contradict her.

"Get out," Simmons snarled as the door behind her opened and closed. He looked past her at the door and said, "Oi, you there! I'll give you a free sandwich if you haul this woman out for me!"

"Depends on who she is," a sickeningly familiar voice said as Stanton felt a hand being placed on her shoulder and spun her around to face him. Lansford looked tired and stressed out, but he smiled nonetheless when he recognized her. "I can't believe I let you give me the slip," he said, pulling the baseball cap off. "Now I think I'm beginning to understand a few of the twenty warnings Keller gave me about you."

"Are you two dating or something?" Simmons suddenly butted in, looking eagerly between her and Lansford. "Has your dead husband finally succumbed to time and memory and you've decided to 'move on'?"

"_No!" _she snapped at him while Lansford suddenly looked uncomfortable. "Why you just… just…" she sputtered, raising her hands in frustration. "Oh, _forget it!"_ she snapped, bringing her hands down so fast she nearly clipped Lansford in the face. She looked away briefly, but then riveted her attention back to Simmons. "You drive me crazy!" she snapped, turning on her heel to face him.

"If I didn't know you better, I'd say you were flirting… good thing I know you better," Lansford replied, his humorous smile dying instantly once she glared at him. "I mean, I think you need to calm down, we both know that you need to calm down before you say anything you regret later…" he began as he slowly approached her, his hands out in a placating gesture.

"Sleep in fear tonight Simmons. In fear," she warned, pointing at him in a dangerous manner. Her tone seemed to betray a small amount of hurt from his earlier comment but she refused to acknowledge it. She scowled when he rolled his eyes.

"You've ceased to scare me, now that I've had some time away from you," Simmons replied, shrugging.

She gave a nasty grin and whispered, "Oh really?" She noticed Simmons suddenly look alarmed as she stepped back and looked towards the back, where she estimated the manager's office to be. "Can I please speak to the manager?" she asked in an abnormally loud voice, catching the attention of nearby customers and workers. "I'd like to file a complaint," she said while changing her features and posture to express an unhappiness that she was feeling, but not for the reasons that the manager would think.

"You did not," Simmons hissed as another employee vanished to get the manager.

"I think I just did," Stanton replied calmly, ignoring Lansford as he went off to answer his ringing cell phone. She looked up as a older woman came out from the back, clearly ruffled at being pulled away from whatever she'd been doing before Stanton had raised a fuss.

"What's this about filing a complaint?" the woman thundered, glaring at Stanton as though it was completely her fault that the problem happened. Stanton surmised that this was the famous Mrs. Simmons.

"I'm trying to order some lunch to go, but that cashier there won't help me at all. I'm on a tight schedule," she said, placing her hands together and assuming an innocent expression.

"He wouldn't give me what I wanted either!" another customer, who was spreading mayonnaise on his sandwich, said from the back of the room.

"You be quiet! I already dealt with you!" the woman snapped, turning to face the other customer. She turned around to face Simmons and snarled, "Do you want to work in the backroom or something? All you have to do is ask! No need to cause trouble!"

"Perhaps he just feels neglected. Troublemaking is a method of getting attention from the parents after all," Stanton murmured thoughtfully, loud enough for Mrs. Simmons to hear. "My eldest son used to get into all kinds of trouble when I was taking care of the twins."

Mrs. Simmons made a sound of disgust. "You. Backroom. Now," she ordered, pointing to her son. "I'm sorry, ma'am, that this happened," she said, looking back at Stanton. "Here, take the coupon and use it for your sandwich," she said, handing over the piece of paper. Then she walked off, presumably to ensure that Simmons obeyed her order and went into the backroom

But he hadn't, at least not yet. "One day you'll thank me Antonia. One day I'll be the only thing that stands between you and the end of the world," Simmons called as he walked towards the door that the led into the kitchen.

"Oh yeah? That'll also be the day when I order 'Stryker' to be my subordinate again!" she shouted as he walked off. There was a moment of silence, and then she turned and promptly left the deli, a confused Lansford in her wake.

He said nothing as he waved good-bye to the other cashier and darted to prevent Stanton from running off again. Instead, he found her waiting patiently by the passenger car door, appearing small with her slouched shoulders and downcast expression. She did not say anything as he unlocked the door, just got in and waited as he shut her door and locked it to prevent escape as he walked around and got in on his side. Her quietness was starting to worry him, he decided as he started the car and slipped back into traffic.

"This is a definite attitude change from earlier," he finally risked after a few moments of silence from her side of the vehicle. He'd tried to start a conversation earlier, but failed when she scowled at him.

"I swear I'll kill him the next time he mentions Matt like that," she said in a cold tone, stubbornly staring ahead out the windshield. Lansford didn't say anything, but he wondered something. He knew Stanton was more than capable of carrying out her threat of killing Simmons, but what he wanted to know was if she had the guts or not to pull the trigger the moment her chance came, once Simmons was exposed and incapable of defending himself.

He looked at her still-slumped form, and decided to ask when she was in a more complacent mood.


	23. Dash in the Park

Chapter Twenty-Three

Dash in the Park

It was a warm sticky afternoon in Tranquility California, with broad green-leafed trees creating swaths of shade in the park and sidewalk. Sam, home from college and nightmare-free, was determined to have a glorious time with Mikaela, whom he hadn't seen since the Jordan fiasco the previous fall. Well, it would've been glorious if Miles and Wheelie hadn't decided to tag along also, Miles for the fun of hanging out and Wheelie for his Warrior Goddess. No, scratch that. It wasn't even in the same ballpark as 'glorious', for those very same reasons.

"Hey," Mikaela said, dragging his attention back to her. "Why didn't you drop by around spring break? We missed you," she said, undoubtedly including Wheelie in the 'we' although Sam highly doubted that Wheelie really missed him at all.

"Um," Sam said slowly, watching Miles walking back to them, only to pause at an ice cream vendor. Okay, so he had time. "Um, Leo and I received a death threat from what was suspected to be a Decepticon, and NEST took it seriously… Simmons is in charge of them now. We were whisked off to Diego Garcia for the entire break. Don't get me wrong, Leo loved it and I guess I had fun, but I missed you."

"Why didn't NEST get us too do you think?" Mikaela asked thoughtfully as Wheelie, still in his truck form, moved to the shady side of her legs and sat there.

"Simmons wanted us to stay separated, just so that we could 'confuse the enemy' as he phrased it," Sam replied grumpily as Mikaela hugged him.

"I think he just didn't want to have to deal with us anymore than he absolutely had to; the Decepticons are too smart to be fooled by us being separated. It would confuse a human enemy, not a super-intelligent robot bent on killing us," she said softly in his ear, and he grinned slightly foolishly at having her so close like this.

"I think he only wants us to suffer for all the grief we put him through at Mission City," Sam replied, grimacing. He knew Simmons had had a difficult three years since 2007; in that time span, he'd lost his government job thanks to his military rival, got landed with work at a New York deli, battled another teenager over the Internet, helped save the world again in 2009, and then nearly got killed in another one of his former rival's schemes. Putting him with NEST was his saving grace; he'd told the Secretary of Defense and Optimus that he still had archived information that could prove to be extremely beneficial to the ongoing fight with the Decepticons.

Simmons had also threatened to send his evidence on the existence of extra-terrestrials to major newspapers all around the world if they didn't let him sign back on. The United States government was apparently still committed in their dream of keeping NEST a secret from the populace. Sam and Major Lennox had a bet going on as to when the secret would finally be exposed, and a few of the Autobots had bets placed on the outcome of the bet between Lennox and Sam.

Mikaela snorted as Miles approached them, three chocolate ice cream bars in his hands. "Maybe he needs to get married so that there'll be someone to dampen his temper and make life livable for the rest of us," she whispered before turning to Miles, flashing an award-winning smile in his direction.

"Here ya all go… ice creams all around," Miles said cheerfully, handing out the bars between them all. "Charmed the third one from the girl selling them," he added as they took the wrappers off and began to eat them.

"Thanks, Miles, you're a lifesaver," Sam said gratefully as he swallowed a chunk of the ice cream.

"Well, we're all alive for another summer right? That's enough for celebration," Miles said as he took a bite out of his.

"Why wouldn't we be?" Sam asked, his voice coming out in a squeak. Did Miles finally figure out his secret and was about to bring up Jordan? Did a Decepticon make an attempt at killing Miles only to fail for some odd reason? Was the whole secret about to go into flames?

"I had the weirdest near-death experience at a traffic light once a couple months ago; there was like this big black truck like your uncle's behind me and this hot girl on a motorbike in the lane next to me. When the light turned green, nothing out of the ordinary happened until the girl practically rocketed off once we were across the intersection," Miles said, taking another large bite of his ice cream. "Next thing I know," he continued after gulping down the bite, "The black truck gets out of my lane and it's starting to look like a drag race was about to start. So I'm hoping and praying that a cop is gonna bust them both, when the girl moves into _my _lane ahead of me."

"Did a cop get them?" Mikaela asked as Miles took another bite of his food. Sam meanwhile was hoping that the pair that Miles was describing was not who he thought they were.

"I'm getting there! At this point, I'm thinking of slowing down just to let the big guy catch up to the girl, and I was neck and neck with the truck. Then I realized that I barely had enough room to sneak in between the two and move ahead of the truck. So I do it, but the truck honks at me! The idiot was going too fast, so I just accelerated in order to stay ahead, but the girl does the mean thing and moves in back ahead of me!" Miles said, gesturing sharply with the hand that was holding the ice cream. Sam swore he heard a small growl come from Wheelie as a giant chocolate chunk landed onto his hood.

"Maybe they were racing, or the girl was mad at the guy and was using you as a shield," Mikaela suggested.

"Yeah well, I think at that point, the guy was going to kill me by ramming into the back of my mom's car. The only reason he didn't is that a cop conveniently showed up at that moment," Miles snapped in a rare display of anger. "_I_ was the one who got pulled over just because he happened to see me sneak between the truck and motorbike! 'Course, he asked the weirdest questions."

"Like what?" Sam asked, his mind suddenly on alert again.

"He wanted to know if I knew the girl and the truck driver, and if so, where were they going. I said I didn't know. Then he asked if I knew you and Mikaela, and I said yeah, and said that you were in college in Pennsylvania and Mikaela was back home in Tranquility, and then he gave me this weird half-smile, said thanks, told me to drive more carefully, and then just left," Miles said, shrugging as he bit down the rest of his chocolate ice cream. "That happened in the middle of March," he added.

"Just two weeks before Leo and I got our death threats," Sam muttered to Mikaela, who frowned.

"Hey Miles, see this remote-controlled truck?" she asked, pushing Wheelie forward with her foot. Miles nodded, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. "It's the latest all-terrain _toy_ truck that has wireless sensitivity. Wanna give it a shot?" she asked, procuring what Sam recognized to be a pilfered remote control from her bag.

Miles shrugged. What was the harm? "Sure, gimme," he said, taking the remote control from Mikaela. She hoped that Wheelie would remember the agreement they'd made before leaving her house, and cooperate and not cause a scene.

Mikaela waited until Miles had walked off a ways and used the tip of her shoe to delicately remove the ice cream chunk off. After a moment of nothing happening, she gave Wheelie another subtle nudge to get moving, and the former Decepticon grudgingly moved along to go 'play'. "So," she said quietly as Miles moved a little further out of earshot, "Do you think it was Barricade?"

"Barricade hasn't been seen since last December. Simmons said that there were seven people helping him stay hidden for a while, but they got snuffed out and scattered, and only three were captured," he quietly said to Mikaela, remembering what had been said during his stay at Diego Garcia during spring break. "The guys at Diego Garcia looked at the original note and said that it was definitely human handwriting, but it was printed in block letters to prevent identification."

"And emailing it would have left a trail behind," Mikaela said, nodding. "But why not just type it, print it, and then send it?" she asked.

Sam shrugged. "Maybe to confirm that a human sent it?" he guessed.

Mikaela looked around nervously. "This is all getting way too freaky," she whispered.

------------

This was low. This was disgraceful. This went against everything Wheelie had ever learned while staying with the Decepticons. Yet, there was a plus side to this undignified situation; he could still eavesdrop on Warrior Goddess and the sniveling human that followed her around.

So they were worried about Barricade now? Didn't they realize that Barricade had yet to learn that Megatron was back and in business, or was the temperamental hunter enjoying his freedom too much to return to Megatron? Wheelie didn't know, but didn't want to find out. Wherever Barricade was, the spastic Frenzy was bound to be nearby, and Wheelie _hated_ the little Decepticon. Frenzy kept overestimating his own importance to the mission, while Wheelie did the smart thing and kept his trap shut.

Okay, despite the advantages, he hated pretending to be a mindless toy. Before coming to meet Witwicky here, Warrior Goddess warned that if he wanted to come, which he did, he had to pretend to be a toy powered to a remote control as to not arouse suspicion. They had practiced with him sensing the ineffectual signals and obeying them. If she or Witwicky were at the controls, he could do whatever he pleased because they knew… unlike the unoriginal human at the controls now.

Grumbling to himself, he moved underneath a car and 'sat' down, refusing to move anymore. The kid was beginning to infuriate him. He settled down as Miles went over to Mikaela to figure out what was wrong, and then powered down his optic sensors just as the controls were handed over Witwicky.

_Slag_.

"This is how you do it," he heard Sam say, and moved out from underneath the car, just to humor the boy a bit. He chased the faint signal as it went right, left, in a circle, and then left again, moving towards the ice cream vendor. The leftovers of the sticky substance were still on his hood, and he hoped that Warrior Goddess would be pleased enough to permit a bath with his reward tonight.

The next thing was weaving in and out of the people's feet. This he didn't mind so much; he was making the people miserable by making it dangerous to walk without tripping and it wasn't his fault this time. Maybe Warrior Goddess would see this mistreatment and decide to dump Witwicky, who appeared to be way out of her league to begin with.

The next item was his idea, but Warrior Goddess probably wasn't smart enough to tell the difference. He shot through a group of people who were sitting on a large rectangle of cloth with food spread out. The people were lucky that he didn't want any of the disgusting-looking substance on his wheels, or he would've gone straight through the bowl of white and yellow stuff that appeared inedible at first glance.

Unfortunately, he realized that there were little humans, children as Warrior Goddess called them, at the cloth too. The 'food' was immediately forgotten and the children jumped up and gave chase, squealing with delight at the same time.

_Double slag._

He made a beeline for the safety of a nearby tree. Perhaps if the children couldn't see him, then they wouldn't chase him anymore, and he could go back of getting Witwicky in trouble with Warrior Goddess.

"Mommy, Mommy, look! I found the truck first!" a child male squealed as he came barreling around the tree, and Wheelie felt immediately disoriented as the child picked him up with grubby hands and lifted him up for the mother to see. "Finders keepers!" the child snapped at his crowding siblings, one of which immediately began sniffling.

"Is there a name sweetheart?" the mother asked as the children returned to the rest of the family, the victor holding Wheelie aloft like a trophy.

"I don't know, lemme see!" the boy said, and without warning flipped Wheelie over onto his back. Wheelie felt like attacking the kid, but remembered that attacking other humans was on Warrior Goddess's list of forbidden things to do if he wanted to stay with her and not with the bothersome Autobots on an isolated island that wasn't even on the map. He'd already tried staying with NEST once, but some hyperactive visitor had shot him in the wheels, proving that even the most harmless-looking visitors were dangerous after all.

What made his bad day even worse was that Witwicky and his dumb friend were on the ground, clutching their sides. At first Wheelie was hopeful that the two males were suffering from some kind of biological problem and they were going to die leaving Wheelie with Warrior Goddess all to himself. Then he realized that both had tears on their faces as they laughed loud and hard at his predicament, while Warrior Goddess had a hand over her open mouth and looked shocked. Wheelie groaned to himself; he had no doubt that he looked positively ridiculous as the grubby kid turned him all over, searching for a Pit-spawned name that didn't exist. He sent a pitiful look at Warrior Goddess; she wouldn't be able to see it but he hoped the message got across to her.

Also, if the brat didn't put him down or he wasn't rescued in the next five Earth minutes, he was going to transform, scare the kid into dropping him, and then transform again and make his escape for safety. He didn't care about national safety or whatever it was called, he was more concerned about his personal safety and 'bubble', as the humans called it.

"Excuse me?" he heard Warrior Goddess's sweet voice suddenly say. He activated his optics again and found to his delight that Warrior Goddess was standing in front of him… or at least she would be if he weren't still being held upside down. "That's my cousin's toy truck, see? That's his name written right there," she said in that sweet voice she had when she wasn't angry with Wheelie.

"But finders keepers!" the boy said, sniffling slightly while the father scowled.

"Yes, well, my irresponsible boyfriend just sent it around here to bother people, and he didn't mean for it to be taken," Warrior Goddess said in that sweet tone of hers, and the child reluctantly handed Wheelie over.

"Aren't you a little too old to be playing with toy trucks, even with your cousin?" the father asked skeptically as Mikaela turned Wheelie right-side up and tucked him under her arm so that he was facing away from the family.

"Yeah, but my little cousin gave it over to my boyfriend, who was messing around with it. _He's_ too old to be playing with this," Mikaela said sadly, and then she looked back at the father. "Sorry again for him," she said, before turning around and walking purposefully back towards Sam and Miles. One of the children got the idea to try and snatch Wheelie from Mikaela's arms, but as the little fleshy got close Wheelie transformed just his head and claws, and flashed a Jack-o-lantern grin with bared claws. The child squealed and ran back to his parents, not catching Wheelie quickly transforming back into the truck. The parents looked and saw the harmless truck, and then told the child to sit down and finish his lunch.

"Sam, that was mean, sending Wheelie in like that and making him look bad! You just took advantage of him trying to behave and blend in!" Mikaela snapped at Sam, whose mouth fell open as Miles picked himself up from the ground.

"What? 'Kaela, I didn't… what are you talking about?? I didn't make him do that... he was doing that all on his own!" Sam sputtered as Miles shook his head.

"No way dude, I saw you working the controls. You drove the car into the family," Miles disagreed, shaking his head. "Like 'Kaela said, don't blame the car. It didn't just grow a brain and suddenly decide to make you look bad just because you were treating it like some toy."

Sam's mouth dropped open, and Mikaela bit her lip to stifle her laugh as she set Wheelie down. Wheelie watched with amusement as Witwicky's mouth opened and closed several times like a marine creature gasping for breath. Wheelie settled by Mikaela's feet again, listening happily to the argument that began between the three human adolescents.

_I believe that my work for today is done._

------------------

A/N: I got the idea for this one from one of Wheelie's lines in Chapter 15 of Bookworm Gal's Summer Vacation. I highly recommend that story as well as the others in her 'Black Crayon' series if you haven't read them yet!


	24. Escapade Mishaps

Chapter Twenty-Four

Escapade Mishaps

"It was real nice of Ratchet to let us out for the day," Skids commented as he glided along the human highway, obeying the ridiculous speed limit for once in his life. The sky was blue with fat white puffy clouds in the sky, a perfect day by human standards.

"It's even more nice that he doesn't know he let us out for the day," Mudflap agreed as he kept up with his brother. The only reason they were obeying the human laws for once was because they knew Ratchet and Ironhide both would be hunting them down once they came back online from an energon-induced nap. Skids had discovered that the older mechs hunted them by following the trail of broken laws and accident scenes. As hard as it was starting to appear to be, the twins were going to be on their _best _behavior until they were _both_ sure that the trail was cold and it was a long windy distance between them and the U.S. Air Force base they'd snuck out of.

Then they could have as much fun as they wanted.

Skids snickered at his brother's comment. The last time they had this much freedom was in a place the humans called 'Granada, Spain', and they were wreaking havoc in the thin and twisting streets on the mountain next to what appeared to be a huge human residence of some sort. Skids _had_ thought that it was the best place to land on Earth.

Then NEST had swooped in to collect them. Ratchet and Ironhide had both been left behind because of their massive size, so it was extremely hard for the humans just to slow them down. NEST first had to tear down the traps that the Spanish law enforcement had set to slow the twins down, then venture into the city to catch the twins.

Optimus was waiting for them when they finally got lured out of the city of Granada and onto the highway. A few stern orders later and the twins finally called it quits. Then Ratchet was lurking in the shadows of his beloved medical bay, waiting for them, and then they'd been subjected to all sorts of exams. More rules were place down, such as 'Leave Civilians Alone' when Ratchet found out that a random human had somehow wound up inside of Skid's car interior, miraculously unharmed. Lennox's high school Spanish was severely tested as he tried to calm the panicking human down, and then was finally able to get through to the human through a mixture of English and Spanish.

Those were good times.

Skids and Mudflap were now enjoying the freedom of the open road with no mission or older mech pressuring him. They were pushing the speed limit of the highway, going seventy to seventy-five only to slow down back sixty-five when they sensed a police radar up ahead. Their excuse; this was good practice for when it came to detecting Decepticons while charging ahead. They were also racing each other, Mudflap slowing down long enough to challenge a red Ferrari into a brief competition. That ended when the police locked onto the speeding vehicles, and Mudflap slowed down long enough to vanish behind a truck. The Ferrari driver thought that he was losing, so he only accelerated only to instigate the wrath of the officer. After that the twins raced each other, constantly testing the officers on patrol.

"Heads up Skids… two fuzz up ahead," Mudflap commed his brother, and received a click in acknowledgement.

"Yup, got it," Skids replied, slowing down enough to sneak behind a truck that had big blue lettering across the back door. He noted that his brother was now taking it easy near a green pickup in the next lane over a little ways behind him.

The two police officers in question had their cruisers facing both directions. One was leaning outside his cruiser, the other seemed to be napping inside but Skids couldn't tell from this angle or distance. The first officer made eye contact with Skids just before disappearing in thin air, and the Decepticon ID signal pulsed more noticeably from within the cruiser.

_Slag_.

"Hey, that was Barricade!" Mudflap said suddenly, and Skids heard a squealing of breaks and knew right away what Mudflap was going to do. As though to confirm his suspicions, Skids watched as the cruiser immediately shot forward into the opposing lane of traffic and tore off down the highway, lights flashing and siren wailing.

In a maneuver that would probably destroy a pathetically constructed human car, Skids pulled a sharp ninety-degree angle and shot after the cruiser, nearly colliding with the other cruiser in the process. The driver jerked awake in alarm, and then swore as he saw a small Chevy on a collision course with him. Mudflap snickered over the com as he barely missed the cruiser, having intended to scare the man awake all along. But the twins weren't bored as the cruiser turned a sharp U and made after them, sirens and lights on. Skids wondered if they would make it onto human TV, two 'civilians' chasing a cruiser and being chased by another police cruiser. Then he realized that if they were causing enough of a ruckus to catch the media's attention, then there was no telling how long they had until Ratchet or Ironhide caught on to the illegal activities.

Yikes.

Barricade's signal was now distinct since Skids had a better lock on it. Why was the Decepticon hunter fleeing? Didn't he know that it was just two measly Autobots following him? Unless he overestimating them and assuming it was a distraction so that a more battle-hardened mech, aka Ironhide, was waiting in the wings to pounce right when the hunter was distracted. Skids privately wished that he'd thought of that before leaving the base so that Ironhide would _really_ be waiting in the wings and Skids and Mudflap could actually get credit for catching Barricade.

"Brother, are you thinking what I'm thinking? We should just get him and drag him back! That way Prime will reward us an' all," Mudflap said conversationally over their shared link as he caught up to Skids. Because Barricade was in such a rush to get out of there, he was making it easy for them to target him by flashing the lights.

"Well, we can't lose him!" Skids replied eagerly, the speedometer steadily increasing to unsafe human speeds. Cars honked in alarm and moved out of the way of what had become a slightly demented road chase. Barricade took the first highway exit before slowing down fast enough not to shoot off the curve of the road, and then shot through the red light, leaving Skids and Mudflap in his dust, both of them delayed at the same light. They had lost the other cruiser in their eagerness to catch the Decepticon hunter, and Skids was privately hoping that the media hadn't caught the debacle yet; the twins hadn't been out for more than six hours yet!

When the light turned green, they both took off eagerly for the same direction that Barricade had gone off into. Unfortunately, the hunter had already vanished since he had taken advantage of the series of crossroads the twins encountered as they left the first intersection behind. To the left was a park with a pond and lovely trees. Adults and adolescents were walking around, enjoying the peace of the afternoon. The only cruiser that the twins saw was parked on the side of the street near the row of human parking meters on the left side of the street, the female black-haired uniformed officer writing out what must've been a citation for one of the parked vehicles, a silver Chevrolet. The cruiser had no identifying marks or signals as a Decepticon. The officer kept flicking glances to the twins, almost as though she was watching them since their colors apparently screamed 'troublemakers'. Skids opted for the safer course of action and obediently stuck to the street rules and just kept going, but Mudflap decided to be a little more daring.

Mudflap had seen the older Autobots use their holograms to interact with unsuspecting humans, and had seen on more than one occasion a couple of flirtations between them. One of the memorable ones had been Starscream's hologram in close proximity with a female pilot, a woman who was on the same squadron. Another memorable one was watching poor Jolt trying to shake off an unwanted admirer at a local place the humans called the 'mall'. Mudflap wanted to have some kind of contact with a femme outside of NEST; the ones that were within NEST were either too scary or too scared.

But here was an unsuspecting female who had no idea to his real identity. Signaling his brother to wait, Mudflap cruised to a stop a little past the cruiser, slightly startled to have seen the numbers '346' on the cruiser's side. He was too paranoid; he needed to calm down. This was a real cruiser; it didn't have a Decepticon ID signal on it.

The woman tensed as his hologram 'got out' of the car, and then casually sauntered up to her. She pointedly ignored him as she scribbled on her pad furiously, as though speeding up the task to get the job done faster. She slapped the citation underneath the windshield wipers of the silver vehicle before her, and then turned only to face him. "Excuse me sir, but can I help you?" she asked in a thin voice, eyes narrowing.

"Do you like water?" Mudflap asked conversationally as he crossed his arms over his orange shirt.

She stared at him, caught by surprise. "Um…um, I… guess? Yes?" she said, looking hopelessly confused. In her mind, she was wondering what the heck that had to do with anything. "Sir, if it's a maintenance problem…"

"If you like water, then you must like seventy-five percent of me!" Mudflap finished triumphantly. He had seen a boy use that line on another girl, but had been unable to see the girl's reaction. Now was a good time to find out if it worked; despite her strict looking uniform, the girl before him looked rather pretty, with dark hair and intelligent eyes.

The officer scowled in anger, and Mudflap got the impression that he had offended her. "Are you trying to hit on me?" she finally asked coldly, and Mudflap began to back away.

"Of course not! I was merely interested in seeing if you wished to spend an evening together," Mudflap said, sensing his brother nearby.

"So you are. Well, my answer is _no_. Already have a guy telling me what to do," she snapped as she walked past Mudflap, her cheeks burning. "Stay out of trouble sir, and have a nice day," she said icily before getting back into the cruiser. The vehicle tentatively left its spot, and Mudflap watched in shock as its numbers flickered and unscrambled.

"_GET HIM!"_ Skids screeched, revving and charging at Barricade. Mudflap attempted to follow, but the Chevrolet behind him accelerated and rear-ended him viciously as he attempted to get moving. Mudflap was so stunned by the duplicity that he just sat there in the few precious seconds that Sideways and Barricade used to escape the twins. Mudflap then accelerated to catch up to his brother, but both twins were left in the dust as the sirens were activated and Sideways pulled ahead, using the perfect disguise to get away quickly.

"Bro, he's got the girl, we gotta save her, before NEST does!" Skids said worriedly as Mudflap checked his rear end, and was satisfied to see that it only had a few scratches and dents. At least he wasn't such a nightmare about marred paintjobs as Sideswipe's twin, Sunstreaker, was.

"Yeah, we'll get caught for sure," Mudflap agreed as he began to move.

_Thwack!_

"Ow, what the slag was that for?" Mudflap snapped at Skids who had begun to move. Something hard had made contact with his windshield.

"I didn't do that!" Skids shot back, and then yelped in pain as something hard hit his windshield. Riled up, he scanned the area for any of the little human brats throwing rocks at him, but found none. Instead, his scanners picked up a few lifeforms in the tree above him, all four of them poised at the branch's edge. As he watched, one of the little critters leaned over the edge and knocked over another hard object, hitting Mudflap again.

"Hey, I thought you said…" Mudflap began, his voice increasing in volume with each word.

_Thwack!_

"They're getting me too!" Skids snapped. Squirrels the humans called the critters, he remembered. The blasted missiles, acorns, _hurt._ He carefully transformed one of his smaller weapons and aimed up at the tree… and fired. Mudflap watched as the animals squealed and dodged the attack by fleeing to other limbs. Then they peered down at the two vehicles again.

"Lemme try," Mudflap said, and aimed his weapon up at them. One of the squirrels dropped an acorn at that moment, and it got lodged in the barrel of the weapon, causing it to backfire. Mudflap squealed in pain, and realized that the only thing to stop the vicious little monsters was to annihilate the whole tree… that way the squirrels had no way of escape.

Skids got the same idea. As they both transformed as quietly as possible, the squirrels began to flee to other trees, a brave few remaining to throw the last round of nuts at the twins. Then they realized exactly what they were going up against, and turned to run also.

A blast shook the entire park as Skids opened fire on the tree, turning the top half into a burning mess. People began seriously panicking when there was a series of successive blasts, fire and splintered wood flying everywhere. Little Tommy, still sore from the loss of the toy truck to the beautiful girl, looked up in amazement as he watched two giant robots tearing through the trees that lined the park, a visible gray-brown mass fleeing from the wreckage as the squirrels fled for cover. A few squirrels from neighboring trees briefly joined the fight, but scattered once Mudflap aimed and fired. Skids swore at the adding complications as people wandered too close to the battlefield in their frenzy to escape. Birds flew away in alarm.

"Bro, let's bail! NEST would've heard about this by now!" Mudflap yelped as the acorns began hitting his metallic exterior. "We can just blame all of this on Barricade if we get caught!"

" 'If' being the key word there!" Skids yelled back as he began running, transforming back into a vehicle midflight. He heard a loud _clank_ as Mudflap followed. "I don't know what those were, but I've been here long enough to know that those things were _not_ natural!"

"Slag, I've got these nuts in here! Makes it hard to move!" Mudflap shouted crossly.

"Do you want to deal with Ratchet?" Skids shouted back. Mudflap decided that suffering for now was better than facing the medic and admitting to having escaped the base, so he accelerated as fast and as best he could.

NEST arrived to a park where the majority of the trees were burning, cinders and tree fragments flying everywhere. The local fire department were already tending to the crisis, and Lennox frowned when he saw that the police were redirecting a small group of protesters. "I tell you, if those squirrels weren't here, we wouldn't _have_ this problem!" someone was yelling at his friend as they watched the new arrivals.

"Let's see, first the busted security cameras, then the road rages on the highway, finally a police officer reporting two oddly-behaving Chevys with one odd driver. Gee, I wonder who that could possibly be," Lennox muttered sarcastically as a few NEST personnel went to head off the approaching media.

"Someone should find the twins before they wreak more havoc," Epps agreed. He and Lennox looked at each other, and then looked at the person next to them. Very aware of what they'd been talking about, Graham looked to his right to Ratchet's hologram, who turned to Ironhide who finally turned to the scowling Arianna Aliskevicz. She looked back at him and narrowed her eyes when she saw not only three men but two Autobot holograms looking expectantly at her.

"What?" she asked.

"The twins?" Lennox asked.

"I strongly dislike you all," she snapped before turning around to go back to the car. "Ironhide is going to suffer with me," she said, opening the truck door and climbing in. "We should get started; those two could be halfway to Machu Picchu by now."

Lennox studiously ignored Ironhide's glare as the hologram vanished. "Well, at least she said 'strongly dislike'. 'Hate' is such a strong word," Epps observed as the truck started its engines and then accelerated gradually to forty miles per hour down the road.

"I think the implication was supposed to be the same," Lennox said as Epps nodded in agreement. "Next, we can work on toning down her cussing."

----------

A/N: No squirrels were harmed in the writing of this chapter. As for the twins, trying to write their accents for brief dialogue is tricky to begin with, but I decided not to do it for a whole chapter. Quick opinion question: between Skids and Mudflap, which one do you think is the less crazy/reckless one? Finally, if you have any requests of any specific stories you wish to see, please let me know! :)


	25. Escapade Finale

Chapter Twenty-Five

Escapade Finale

"I strongly dislike you all," she snapped before turning around to go back to the car. "Ironhide is going to suffer with me," she said, opening the truck door and climbing in. "We should get started; those two could be halfway to Machu Picchu by now." She remained quiet in the driver's seat before remarking, "I really hope they're not going to Machu Picchu… It's such a long way from here to the American – Mexican border and I know for sure I don't have my passport…"

"We'll catch up with them before they get there," Ironhide rumbled, and Ari wondered if he was unfamiliar with the whole sarcasm concept. She decided to keep her mouth shut; she wasn't that familiar with the Autobots as she should be since she more or less worked for just NEST now... thanks to the incident in London.

She pursed her lips, searching in her mind as to where her passport could possibly be. Oh, right. It was still in her carry-on at the bottom of her closet at her nice little house in the suburbs of Boston. There was probably a huge stack of dirty clothes on top of the carry-on too, with her wallet, cell phone and iPod all buried in it somewhere. It was probably a bad idea to have left the cell phone behind; forget about Lennox trying to call her, Tyler was probably going to call with a question about the laundry and where the detergent was located. She always tried to remember to put things back exactly where she found them to make it easier for Tyler to find them, but there were the few occasions where she forgot.

"The twins were here all right," Ironhide observed, his deep voice breaking through her thoughts. They were probably half a mile away from the park, in the busier sections of the city. Ari winced, looking at the parked car nearby, the bumper barely clinging on. A streak of black paint marred the white side of the parked car, announcing that a car with black paint must've scraped alongside it. "Barricade. The twins are either running from me or still trying to catch him," Ironhide rumbled, disapproval evident in his tone.

"Or both. Maybe they're trying to appease your anger by doing the 'brave' thing and catching the Decepticon for you," Ari suggested. "I tried to appease my ninth grade math teacher doing something similar like that… ended up with a week of detention for getting caught red-handed but in my defense, I was framed."

"Detention?" Ironhide asked through the radio as the pair of them entered mainstream traffic. Ari made a point of placing her hands on the wheel and staring ahead to keep the observant officer appeased.

"At my old school, if a high school student misbehaved badly enough, they got detention, where they had to stay after school for an hour or more doing nothing. It's all up to the teacher," Ari replied, leaning over with one hand to dig out her sunglasses from the glove compartment. If she was going to be seen driving a huge truck that looked better with a guy, then she was going to go at it fashionably. After thinking it over for a moment, she added, "It's kinda like when the twins get hauled into the brig at Diego Garcia for pulling pranks that the rest of you guys dislike so much." The grumble from Ironhide reflected his attitude about the memory, and Ari grinned. She leaned forward a bit, trying to pick out the twins' distinctive neon colors against the myriad of blues, reds, greens, yellows, grays, silvers the colors went on and on. "Yeah, I don't think the twins are the most fashionable cars on the block anymore."

"Give them time. Then we'll be getting reports of another bizarre ruckus," Ironhide said darkly as he made a left at the traffic light. "In the meantime, you keep looking and I'll keep scanning."

"Here's a suggestion. I think that this scanning thing is like a beacon for any of your kind looking out for such a signal. Power down and let me handle the driving, it just might work," Ari offered, placing her hands on the wheel for real and resting her foot on the pedal.

"Drive carefully," Ironhide finally growled out warningly before slipping into temporary stasis. Ari gripped the steering wheel and swiftly took over control as Ironhide surrendered it to her. She gritted her teeth, and focused on driving in aimless directions, not really paying real attention to where she was going, all the while keeping an eye out for either the twins or Barricade… or any other problems.

* * *

In reality, the twins were nowhere near the busier parts of town; they'd been harassing Sideswipe for the last twenty minutes after escaping the disaster in the park. The silver Audi had just fled for the safety of the highway, and neither twin was inclined to chase the Decepticon; a high-speed chase would drain them of their energy. They both needed the energy to stay one step ahead of NEST. As for Barricade, well, after the cruiser had ditched them in the center of town, the hunter had disappeared completely off the map again.

"Okay, so Sideway's gone. Now do we wait for Barricade to resurface or focus more on putting more miles between Ironhide and us?" Mudflap asked as Skids finally came to a rest in front of his brother after scanning the trees for any more of the pesky tree rodents. The twins were nestled in what the humans called a 'cul-de-sac'.

"Putting more miles between Ironhide and us. That way we can live to try and chase Barricade another day," Skids replied wearily as he shut his engine off. The thick foliage of the surrounding trees would shield them from an aerial attack in the off chance that the Starscream showed up, and hopefully they would pass off as normal cars for any curious humans. "Whaddya say to a thirty-minute rest and then we move on? Assuming of course that we don't get caught before then."

"Sounds good to me," Mudflap replied, his chassis sinking down slightly as he shut off the engine with his brother following suit. As they both settled down to recharge, Mudflap switched on two external scanners, still wary of Barricade trying something when they had their backs turned.

Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long. Almost ten minutes later, Barricade came around the corner, weary of the chase as much as the twins were. Mudflap sensed that the real human behind the wheel was doing more of the driving than the Decepticon was. Mudflap hoped Skids could see this without needing an alert; there was nothing Mudflap could do without alerting Barricade also. The cruiser, a line of paint marred on the side where he'd scraped into a white car at Skid's encouragement, finally came to a rest at the entrance of the cul-de-sac, a respectful distance from the twins. Mudflap could hardly believe his good fortune; it was rare that this sort of thing happened. Was Barricade dense, or did he have his guard lowered, or was he baiting them?

"I still don't think you can get me out from federal prison in less than twenty-four hours, have you_ seen_ the places with the highest security?" the woman driver snapped as she got out after the engine had died. Mudflap grinned to himself as the image of a young man appeared leaning against the cruiser. Okay, apparently Barricade had completely missed them and was lowering his guard.

"I think that you merely have lost faith in my abilities," Barricade replied innocently as the female officer that Mudflap had flirted with earlier pulled her cap off and ran a gloved hand through her messy ponytail. She seemed to look around, looking anywhere but at the twins. Mudflap could only wonder at the female's apparent ignorance; humans _were_ extremely unobservant.

"I don't feel good," she finally said, turning her back towards the twins. "I feel… sort of sick, if that makes any sense."

"Dehydration. I told you that accepting the water would be a good idea," Barricade said mildly as he continued watching her pace slightly.

"_You_ were the one in a rush!" she shot back, and then wrapped her arms around herself. "They're not going to be gentle," she said finally.

"Mmm," Barricade grunted, his hologram looking back to where the main part of the road was, no doubt looking out for any NEST soldiers. Mudflap was now seriously convinced that the Decepticon had completely missed the twins, leaving himself open for the taking. On the other hand though, the human seemed panicked enough to indicate that she knew they were there.

"That's easy for you to say, you're not the one who will be getting all trussed up," the woman replied before wringing her hands nervously as she too looked down the road.

This was almost too good to pass up. Mudflap checked his brother, and was stunned to find that during the exchange, Skids had managed to scoot around the slight bend in the cul-de-sac so that he was closer to the Decepticon. Mudflap guessed that Barricade had developed an unhealthy infatuation with the female if the Decepticon hunter had completely missed Skids moving closer. Not even Mudflap thought that Skids was _that_ good… or lucky for that matter. Extremely careful not to accidentally turn any electronic signals that would give him away, and careful to be extra quiet, Mudflap slowly inched forward, turning slightly so that he would be in the perfect position to T-bone the oblivious hunter. Once he was perpendicular, Mudflap rested back on his wheels; content to watch Skids inch forward. Their dream of bagging a Decepticon on their own was coming close to completion, and all they had left to do was contact Ironhide and tell the bigger Autobot to take it easy when it came to ambushing the quartet.

Speaking of the black devil…

Mudflap tensed when he sensed the larger Autobot traveling up the street that was parallel with the cul-de-sac off to the right. Time was starting to slip away; if he and Skids were going to return to Diego Garcia as heroes, now was the time to act. Skids seemed to have gotten the same idea; he was now visibly inching toward the Decepticon hunter and the human femme. Mudflap mentally calculated the distance between Skids and Barricade and then between himself and Barricade. If they both leapt at Barricade at the exact same time and transformed mid-air, then maybe they would have enough air to clear the Decepticon and would be able to drive their own weapons into him. That would hopefully maim Barricade to the point where he could be safely taken into NEST custody without a fuss.

Oh wait. Mudflap didn't remember taking prisoners from the Shanghai fiasco. He felt his gut twist; while he was no stranger to killing Decepticons, Barricade was in his own arena of danger. Mudflap hoped that the element of surprise would enable him to dispatch the Decepticon quickly with no casualties.

Ironhide was now at the end of his street and was making a left. Soon he would come to the cul-de-sac street and Barricade would react either violently or stealthily to the Autobot's presence. Mudflap wondered briefly if the older Autobots ever felt this kind of pressure when they were sneaking up on the enemy during those long years of combat on Cybertron. Then the thought was gone as he focused on bringing a certain hunter to justice. Barricade, he noted, had detected Ironhide also; the hologram had raised its head and the femme appeared even more anxious than before.

So he wouldn't see the twins coming.

Perfect.

With a squeal of tires and a growl from the engine, both twins simultaneously accelerated from a standstill and lunged for Barricade, Mudflap getting enough air to execute a perfect transformation in midair without hitting anything. Skids let out a strangled battle cry, smoke billowing from his tires as he shot forward like a neon bullet.

Barricade hadn't been as clueless as the twins originally thought. The hologram whipped to face the oncoming threat while at the same time he not so gently shoved the woman aside. She took the hint and scrambled away as the hologram fizzed from existence and the black police cruiser unfolded itself into the form of the feared Decepticon hunter. Mudflap felt himself scrabbling at air to pull himself up and get out of Barricade's path, but for once the trajectory was perfect for the intended crash landing. The one time the landing could be fatal.

Skids came through for him at the last minute. Barricade was distracted by Mudflap's dive bomb, leaving his flanks vulnerable for a precious few minutes. With a strangled Tarzan-like yell, Skids transformed as he shot up into the air slightly toward Barricade. He collided with Barricade's midsection with a mighty _crash_, the ground shaking violently as the two giants slammed into the meticulously manicured lawn behind them. When Mudflap landed, he tried to push off the ground to get on top of his twin and add more weight to Barricade, but his attempt backfired and he only dug up even more grass. A few creatures the humans called moles ran in absolute terror from the monstrosities that were ripping up their underground homes.

With a mighty shove, Barricade was freed from the twins. Snarling now, the Decepticon lashed out as Skids tried to come in for another punch, sending the neon twin reeling back as Mudflap jumped in. Perhaps, if they could just keep overwhelming Barricade and keep him from regaining his bearings, Ironhide could arrive in time to cut the Decepticon in half.

But the twins forgot about the pesky human. If NEST humans could deal out enough damage to a Decepticon, it meant that it was true the other way around. The reason the Autobots never thought about it until now was that they hadn't had a reason to suspect that a human displeased with them might be in a position to do something about it.

Skids let out a howl of pain at the gunshot and moved to swipe at the femme who had fired the two-second-long sabot round. At some point, the woman had gotten up back on her feet and had backed away from the fight only to pull out a weapon when both Autobots were distracted. Her eyes widened as she saw Skids coming for her and tried skirting to the side to avoid his swipe but he caught her middle anyway. There was an audible _crunch_ as she slammed into the cheery sunshine yellow garage door.

Mudflap however was finally thrown off to the side as Barricade got his first chance to regain his bearings. Skids changed direction and charged down the Decepticon, but before he could Barricade swiftly moved to avoid a cannon blast from behind Skids. Skids changed direction and slammed into the Decepticon as Ironhide eagerly jumped into the fray.

_Wow, remind me not to upset Ironhide!_ Ari thought warily as she darted over to where the police officer was pulling herself up in a daze. The ground shook violently as Barricade began returning Ironhide's fire with one weapon while trying to fend off the twins with another. Ari knelt by the officer and provided support as the other woman carefully moved into a sitting position. By accident, they made eye contact.

"Ugh, not _you_ again!" they both said in unison as familiarity clicked in their brains. There was a moment of silence before Ari said, "Geez Peyton, you're in trouble big time now! Forget the colonel, Major Lennox wants your hide too!"

"That… could be a problem," Jenna replied through gritted teeth as she leaned back against the garage door.

Ironhide meanwhile, noticed almost immediately that Barricade wasn't in the mood to fight at all. Actually, the Decepticon was making vain attempts to escape by transforming but each time he did either Mudflap or Skids would take advantage of the transformation and jump on top of him only to be viciously thrown off as the Decepticon transformed once more to keep them at bay. Only after about four of these repeated incidents did Barricade stop trying.

Ironhide tensed, and then fired a cannon as Mudflap momentarily captured Barricade's attention. The blast threw Barricade back, narrowly missing the two women and the man's garage. Sparks flew as the entire telephone pole snapped in half, and Ari squealed as the sparks moved dangerously close to them. Even the twins seemed to know to stop and let Ironhide handle this; Barricade could easily knock the still sparking power lines in the direction of the women. Ratchet had warned them that it didn't take much electricity to render a human unconscious or even dead.

Sensing the break, Barricade stood up again, almost lazily. He silently taunted the weapons specialist as he retreated slowly, only to quickly transform and escape, narrowly evading the other NEST vehicles that were arriving. Ironhide realized his surroundings, and then quickly transformed as unfamiliar government vehicles arrived with the two NEST vehicles, the twins close behind him in transformations.

"What the hell…" Lennox said as he got out of one of the cars, Epps right behind him.

"Barricade escaped," Ironhide's hologram announced darkly as he approached the others. The twins had also activated their holograms, just so they could inspect the damage more closely. "The twins were actually productive for once," Ironhide added grudgingly, glaring at them for the briefest of seconds.

"Any casualties?" Lennox asked as Ironhide glanced over to where Ari was helping the other woman up.

"Just her," Ironhide said, a scowl forming on his features as he recognized the woman's bio signs. Lennox turned, and sighed when he spotted the woman also, and then began to approach the pair of women.

Jenna's face was an expressionless mask as Ari half-gently half-roughly pulled Jenna's wrists back and handcuffed them together. "You do realize you're in for a very long time, right?" she asked as she forced Jenna to straighten up by placing a hand on the small of Jenna's back and pushing forward. Then, to the other woman's indignation, Ari quickly patted her down in search of any hidden weaponry. The search turned up two small firearms, a cell phone, and a pair of handcuffs.

"Yeah, I've arrested enough people to know that it's going to be a _long_ time," Jenna said, exhaling slightly as Lennox approached her. "Well major, it's been a while. How are you this fine afternoon?" Jenna asked as Ari stifled a snicker behind her back. Almost everyone in NEST knew of the extremely bad blood between the ex-CIA agent and major. They had trodden on each other's toes all through last year, ending in a massive quarrel that left both Lennox and Jenna with wounded pride and small physical injuries.

"I've been better. You could be in for life if they get you for treason," Lennox warned as he approached the pair of them.

"So I heard," Jenna muttered darkly as she glared at the major. Ari wondered if the other woman saw the irony in her fate; it had been Jenna's task to bring back enemies of the state for due justice and now it was her turn to endure the trip.

"Mind telling us where Barricade went off to? We… could have some hand in shortening your sentence if you cooperate," Lennox said, wincing at his words. It was a low tactic, bargaining with her sentence when they both knew there was little chance of it actually happening. But Lennox was desperate to ensnare the hunter once and for all.

"No, he never had any specific destination in mind. He was trying to find a place to recuperate in private from the little gauntlet you guys forked over to him lately, today and last week," Jenna replied calmly, her face still masked by calmness. She said nothing more as two NEST operatives escorted her and placed her into the armored van.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" a shrill voice screamed from Lennox's left.

He whipped around to find that the neighbors, who up to this point had been cowering in their homes, were cautiously coming out of their shelters now that the fighting was over. The speaker apparently was the only one brave enough to venture farther than his lawn. "Ma'am," Lennox began, raising two hands to placate the irate woman.

"What is the big idea here? I was trying to conduct piano lessons here when those monsters came crashing in and here you are acting like it's no big deal!" the woman screeched, a few more brave neighbors nodding their agreement.

"Sorry about that ma'am, we were filming a movie here and the company didn't send a notice to residents here because they wanted genuine reactions," Ari lied cheerfully as she stepped up to stand beside Lennox. "The director and producers just left to get something from the coffee place; they can chat with you as soon as he gets back if you want," she added sweetly.

"What movie is it?" the woman asked suspiciously as the other neighbors' curiosity overcame their fear and they too slowly approached Lennox and Ari.

Lennox wisely remained silent; Ari apparently knew where she was going with this and it was best that she continued uninterrupted. "The movie is science-fiction, futuristic, action-packed, and it is called... Transformers Revenge of the Fallen," Ari said, her voice wavering slightly before announcing the fictitious movie's title.

"We're not sure of the rating, but we think it might be PG-13 or something along the lines of that," Epps added as Ironhide's hologram joined the small group of people that was forming near the blackened ruins of one man's lawn.

"Remember Simmons from the news? He was on for the whole Mission City business, but he'll be in the film too," Ari said eagerly, and Lennox sensed that it was time to put a clamp on Ari's runaway mouth before she dug them all into a hole that was near-impossible to get out of.

"Keep an eye out for trailers in the future, we're still filming," Lennox cut in before Ari could add in more. "You can bill us for the repair work to your yard," he added, scribbling down contact information onto a card for the owner of the destroyed lawn. The company he had written down was a fake, a face for NEST in the corporate world made especially for them in case of incidents like this. That way, NEST could pay for the damage without revealing their true nature. "Again, we apologize for frightening you like this… we're leaving now."

He stepped back and then began walking towards Ironhide, pulling Ari along by her shirt collar. "Should we tell Galloway about this?" he asked.

"Hell no, I actually don't have a death wish. I bet I can hassle my friend in the labs to manipulate enough video to present a fake trailer for our 'movie'. It might require us videotaping a small clip of the transformations though to make it look convincing enough," Ari said, thinking. "It shouldn't be too hard."

"How did you come up with the title?" Lennox asked curiously.

"Well, they obviously saw the transformations, and I was up late last night watching Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. You know, if we actually made a movie like that, we could probably beat the Star Wars movie at the box office," Ari added thoughtfully.

"She's not going to let that one go for a while," Epps said, and Lennox nodded in agreement.


	26. Poking

Chapter Twenty-Six

Poking

Sideways was proud of his reputation as the best Decepticon spy. But even the best spies lost patience when one of their targets wouldn't _stand still_ for more than a total five Earth minutes. He supposed it reasonable that the female of the pair wouldn't want to sit down like her male companion; their narrow escape from his wrath a few Earth days ago was probably enough to agitate the delicate systems of the humans.

At least they were unscathed. Before leaving the human city, Barricade had 'asked' Sideways to ensure that the two humans remained unscathed in his absence. Sideways didn't try to pretend he didn't understand the implications of disobedience. The injuries that the two humans _did_ have weren't Sideway's fault. The entanglement with the two Sector Seven agents had left the man with a cut on the head and the woman with scarred hands. It was a shame that Sideways saw the trap before the man and woman did; of course the dumb Sector Seven humans would be calm about confronting Barricade, especially since they had a few tanks of liquid nitrogen hidden away with the nozzles in a few strategic positions. So Sideways naturally had to destroy the nitrogen, just to make sure the pesky humans didn't get ideas to go back for it.

Now he was watching the pair that had faced off with the Sector Seven agents. The female was unfortunate to not having gotten to the Autobot medic in time if at all; the scars on her hands from the electricity would serve as an identifying mark for both Sideways and Barricade to use to keep track of the female. She was poking her nose where it didn't belong, and didn't seem to take the hint that she wasn't wanted. In fact, if anything, the hints only encouraged her on.

Sideways didn't care. He was going to be present when the trap was sprung, so he could torture the human later.

Actually, he could probably bother them now. Barricade hadn't said anything against that so far.

He activated his hologram, appearing to be a young man dressed casual with a Red Sox T-shirt and jeans, and had silver hair and dark reddish eyes; hopefully the woman wouldn't be smart enough to see past his disguise. He began to casually walk down the sidewalk, timing his pace with hers so that when she turned to resume her pacing, she would walk straight into him.

_Five, four, three, two, one…_

_Smack!_

"Aw, shoot," the woman exclaimed, placing her bandaged hands to her forehead as she recoiled from crashing into Sideways, who refrained from smirking.

"Karma," the man on the park bench muttered loud enough for her to hear as she raised her head to glare at Sideways. Sharp eyes immediately filled with suspicion as she stepped back to get out of Sideways's way.

"Excuse you," she snapped as Sideways feigned pain, rubbing his forehead.

"At least you're not the one who is going to end up with a bump on their forehead," he snapped back, pretending to wince as his fingers ran over an imaginary bump. The human female wouldn't take long to rile up; while waiting and watching, Sideways had seen males rile up their female companions with just words.

The woman scowled, as the man looked up from the park bench, looking slightly alarmed at the direction the conversation was taking. "It's not my fault that you walked into me," she said icily as the man winced.

Before Sideways could speak, the other man jumped in to defuse the situation. "Uh, Jen, you kinda walked into _him,_" the man said, getting up from his seat. To Sideways, he said, "You know, we have an ice pack, sit down!" He leaned over and gently pulled Sideways to the bench. "Name's Jack," he said as Jen walked around the table to turn the laptop around so that the screen was facing her and not Sideways.

_Smart girl. But look at what I can do._

"My name is Sean," Sideways replied as he accepted the cobalt blue ice pack that Jack had fished out of a white first-aid kit that was sitting on the picnic table. He pressed it to his forehead and focused on Jen, who was staring at him, coldness reflecting in her eyes as she crossed her arms. "I do apologize for walking into you, I was merely taking a walk on this fine day," he said, knowing that the 'fine day' would drive the figurative needle in a little more as she was portrayed as the antagonist in the scenario.

Which in all rights, she kind of was.

"Ever been to Boston before?" she asked coldly, as she raised an eyebrow.

Being a spy enabled him to answer these sorts of questions. He was able to observe enough of the city to be able to lie and answer the question in the positive. "Of course. One of my favorite parts since childhood include the Freedom Trail," he replied, referring to the painted line on the sidewalk. The more he seemed to know, the more he could throw Jen for a loop. As he spoke, he discreetly kept his hands under table and pulled out a small memory device he'd carried from his hidden form. He silently activated one of the smaller 'feelers'. They were thin cables that could easily use the USB port on the laptop to connect with the computer, download the entire hard drive and memory, and then insert a virus into the system to crash aforementioned hard drive and distract the humans from the actual theft.

Not only would it irritate Jen and Jack once they received the virus, Sideways would siphon potential valuable material from them at the same time.

More importantly though, the virus would drive the humans crazy.

"Oh, Freedom Trail. Cool," Jen replied, sipping her soda and eyeing him suspiciously. She wasn't going to buy his story easily.

Jack on the other hand did. "Oooh, didja stop at Faneuil Hall? Or how about Old North Church? Any of the burying grounds, or better yet, the _USS Constitution?_" he asked, straightening up eagerly in his seat. "Which one is your favorite?" he added, bouncing slightly in excitement.

Sideways sensed the laid trap; both Jen and Jack would have been to all the spots and would probably catch the lie immediately once Sideways messed up once. His tip-off had been the spike in Jen's adrenaline as she looked back at him, her eyebrow slightly raised. Sideways was now beginning to see why Barricade had selected Jen as his target. "The Boston Common is one of my favorites," he replied casually as the downloading began. Now he had to keep the woman occupied for fifteen minutes. "It was very peaceful when I went several years ago."

"That's nice," Jen replied in a strained cordial manner.

"Me personally, I prefer the Old North Church," Jack supplied, and Sideways aimed to keep him talking… and maybe he could steer the conversation to a topic that would yield good information.

"I heard that there was a church of a similar build in Mission City. Slightly larger of course, but same idea," Sideways idly observed as he pretended to readjust the pack. Jen's eyes were now focused on him and not the power cord that was attached to the laptop. The downloading continued.

"Were you around there when the attacks occurred?" Jack asked, his curiosity too dominant to be natural; Sideways thought back to when he had been observing the humans from a distance. Jack was acting too unnatural compared to his past behavior. Any careful observer or spy would notice the difference, compare the circumstances, and then figure out that Jack was doing a horrible acting job. Jen on the other hand was keeping to her reserved appearance, and so was not acting much at all. She genuinely suspected Sideways of mischief, and he knew she had fair grounds for the suspicion. It was too bad that she wouldn't figure out the trouble until it was too late to do anything about it.

"Of course not. I was on my way here at the time," Sideways replied, careful not to specify where 'here' was; let the humans assume that he meant Boston, not Earth.

"I was on my way to Richmond, Virginia at the time of the attacks. The whole thing was pretty freaky if you ask me," Jack said, and Jen closed her eyes as though to disguise her pain at the pathetic job that her comrade was doing at lying. "You should hear some of the rumors about it though," he continued before scoffing. "Alien robots. What will they think of next? Alien robots with sun harvesters?" he asked in a feigned sarcastic tone and throwing his hands up into the air.

"Keep talking and it might just happen," Jen shot back before turning to face Sideways. "Did you hear anything that might be considered 'unusual'?" she asked Sideways, her sharp eyes still narrowed.

_Eight minutes._

"Now, my dear," he began, noting with some smug satisfaction as the woman stiffened at the address, "If I was on the opposite side of the country from the actual event, what makes you possibly think I would know about what happened?" he asked, keeping the condescending tone; it was making her scowl more.

"We were in Virginia yet still heard about it," she countered, her eyes flashing slightly in anger.

"Clearly then you weren't there on business. _I _was coming here on business so therefore I did not have the time to pay attention," he replied, checking the timer. His plan was threatening to backfire, and he was close to walking away in irritation.

"Either way, you had to have heard some good conspiracy theories," Jack cut in, swiftly defusing Jen's temper for the moment. "My favorite is the one with the teenage kids jumping into the fray; I mean, you would've been crazy in order to do that," he said, his small laughter sounding strained.

Sideways sighed. Jack's acting and lying skills left something to be desired. That meant the two of them were really up to no good. According to the internal timer, the download had about five minutes left. Then he could leave the two of them in peace. "Well, how is this for a conspiracy theory?" he asked, and Jack perked up at the possibility. Jen on the other hand scowled. "I heard, that the giant alien robots involved take on the guise of our vehicles," Sideways said, thinking of what Starscream had said of the Autobots taking on vehicular disguises, leaving the skies open for the Decepticon. "That way, they can sneak amongst us better, take us captive, use us for experiments," he said, lowering his voice for effect. "In fact…"

"That's enough," Jen interrupted, her voice quickly overpowering Sideway's. "You're going to freak him out, and _I'm_ the one who has to deal with it later," she said, gesturing her head toward Jack.

_One minute._

"Jen, I'm a big boy and don't get scared easily," Jack snapped crossly as Jen rolled her eyes and began to turn to focus on the computer screen. Jack leaned back slightly in his seat and added, "You know, I actually _like_ scary stories…"

_Thirty seconds._

"Hey Jack? Your computer is acting all weird," Jen suddenly said, her lithe fingers moving across the mouse pad as she realized that Sideways was affecting the computer. "I'm going to restart it to see if that'll make it cooperate," she added as her fingers moved to the white keyboard to press in a series of commands.

_No._

"Jen," Sideways suddenly said, feeling sick for what he was about to do. This was the best acting he was going to be forced to do. He reached for her hand and took it into his, pulling it closer to himself while squeezing it slightly. "I never told you how beautiful you were," he added, tremendously grateful that Barricade or any other of the Decepticons were around to witness this. They would never let him forget it… ever. Actually, come to think of it, he was glad that the Autobot twins, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, weren't around to see this either. They'd plague him with it for the rest of his life.

Those words successfully dragged Jen's attention away from the computer. "Excuse me? I just _met_ you, and trust me when I say it wasn't a favorable first impression!" she snapped, yanking her hand away as though he'd burned her. She glared at him before adding, "Don't you have somewhere else to be?" Jack wasn't helping the situation, muffling his laughter behind a sweatshirt sleeve.

_Done._

"Thank you for reminding me, Miss Jen," Sideways said in faux sweet tone as he stood up, carefully and discreetly retracting the cable as he did so. Her hint to get lost was probably not as subtle as she would have preferred, and she probably knew it too. "Perhaps we shall meet again?" he offered.

"Don't… count… on… it," she growled out through gritted teeth. Even as Sideways turned around to walk away toward the waiting Audi, he could feel her eyes burning holes in his back. He knew it was really just a matter of when and where they would meet again: especially if it turned out they had information that Barricade wanted. He winced when he heard loud laughter followed by a sharp _smack_ behind him; he must have really irritated Jen if she went as far to swipe her friend in the face to shut the guy up.

He used his sensors to get an idea of what Jen was doing before snapping off his hologram, and then driving away with his coveted information. He knew where to go; the police department parking lot contained several unmarked, civilian-looking cruisers. He would just go there, sift through the information, and then think of other ways to amuse himself while waiting for Barricade to return to Boston.

He couldn't just spend the entire time watching the same two people after all.


	27. Two Can Play

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Two Can Play

The humans sometimes reminded Skywarp of ants, busy little workers that toiled day in and day out to make sure that the inner-workings of their civilization were working to their personal advantage. Today though, they were letting him and Thundercracker borrow their hangar as a resting stop before returning to the Decepticons' base in the middle of scenic nowhere. They just didn't know that. Skywarp actually had no idea what the humans called the terrain that disguised the base; he just knew the geographical coordinates.

"Warp?"

He turned to focus his sensors on Thundercracker's hologram. The other Seeker was posing as a human major, and so far no one had thought to stop and question his presumed authority. "What?" Skywarp replied before scanning the area once more for any Autobots that might be hiding. The whole fiasco a few weeks ago with Skyfire made him more wary of other machines the humans used daily, but considering that none of them were confirmed Autobot allies and were acting all shifty, Skywarp was close to lowering his guard.

"I'm going to go and deflect the human general; he was suspicious when we said there were only two of us," Thundercracker replied, glancing at a few humans nearby. Only two were staring at him as though he'd grown an extra head; then again, talking to an inanimate jet was apparently not the norm here. "Do me, and Starscream for that matter, a huge favor and _stay out of trouble._ That includes no pranks, no shorting out other jets, no stealing, no redirecting communication links, no eavesdropping for that matter, no redirecting satellite signals, and no flirting with unwilling femmes, especially those that carry a higher rank than you. I don't think Starscream is going to be willing to pull you out of trouble this time," Thundercracker warned as he began to leave.

"Is that why he didn't want to come with us?" Skywarp demanded, the verbal argument that had happened prior to the mission suddenly making sense to him now.

"As the humans say, 'No comment'," Thundercracker replied in a testy voice when the hangar doors opened.

"Major Cromwell! General Spencer wants to see you _now!_" the ensign shouted, his cross expression promising trouble for Thundercracker if the Decepticon tried to question the current orders. Thundercracker shot Skywarp a warning glance before walking toward the ensign. After the pair left, the pilots still left in the room visibly relaxed and began chatting, a definite change to the silent atmosphere that had been present earlier.

_Screamer thinks I can't stay out of trouble. Hah, I'll show him. Slag, I was born to stay _out_ of trouble, not get into it. I'll show Screamer, I'll show him and TC _both_!_ Skywarp thought darkly as he settled down to wait. The only problem he had with staying out of trouble was that he got bored, and the humans were just very good at creating trouble on their own. They were good at creating trouble that was too tempting to stay away from, and not create more of a stir within the creatures.

_At least he didn't make me promise or swear to stay out of trouble or anything like that, just in case I slipped or something,_ Skywarp thought gloomily as he watched the humans cleaning their jets. A cursory glance to his neighbor revealed that a bucket of warm soapy water was perched dangerously on the wing of one jet, the owner not too far away on the main body while another human worked directly below the bucket. It would take just one little nudge to send the bucket and its contents over.

One little nudge.

It was extremely tempting.

Gritting his teeth, Skywarp redirected his sensors, trying to think of anything but the water bucket. He wouldn't mind anymore if an Autobot showed up, it would keep him occupied long enough for Thundercracker to get out of trouble with the human General Spencer. After checking to make sure that no one was watching, he snapped out of his hologram and settled down in what he hoped would be a productive recharge. He kept his external sensors on however; even though he wanted an Autobot to show up, he still wanted the advantage of surprise.

_Tick, tick, tick, tick…_

Skywarp couldn't settle down.

His processer was buzzing in time with the clock on the wall. A brief hack into Thundercracker's link revealed that Thundercracker was communicating with Starscream in an effort to redirect General Spencer's suspicions with Thundercracker's story. Skywarp cut the connection before Starscream could catch on; the Seeker leader had been unusually temperamental the last couple of days. Skywarp suspected it had something to do with the accidental fall into the Pacific Ocean when Starscream had landed on a hyper-aware military base on the American coastline, only to be literally chased off by both sets of Autobot twins.

Yes, some days were apparently better than others.

Skywarp glanced back at his neighbor. At least the human on the jet had spotted the bucket and appeared to have reached the same conclusion. He had picked up the bucket and was now waiting patiently for his companion to get within targeting range.

Skywarp got an idea. Thundercracker never said anything about _helping_ to cause mischief.

He activated his hologram and casually strode over to the other oil-smeared worker. "Hey," he said, successfully catching the man's attention.

"What?" the man asked, raising an eyebrow at Skywarp's sudden appearance at his elbow.

"I was just fixing up my jet, and found this problem with the engine. I'm not quite sure what to make of it, so I was wondering if you may be able to assist me?" Skywarp asked, glad that Starscream wasn't around to see this display of human toleration.

The man shrugged. "Sure. I don't think Ralph is around at the moment, so I guess I could spare a second," he said. Skywarp beamed, and then gestured for the man to follow him. He then walked underneath the jet's wing toward 'his' jet, taking care to make sure that there was a fair amount of space between himself and the other man. Then he walked out from underneath the tip of the wing, and then angled to the left a bit to go back to the location of the imagined engine problem. The man, being the lazy fleshy he was, took the shortcut and headed left after Skywarp, coming out from underneath the wing… and the water.

Skywarp smirked, as there was a howl behind him. He turned to see the worker drenched in water and white soap suds, and Ralph was laughing as he tossed the now empty bucket aside. "Thanks buddy for drawing Ed out," he said to Skywarp, while gesturing to the soaked worker below. "I was starting to get a little anxious there."

"Oh, you're a laugh riot," Ed grumbled as he began attempting to squeeze water out of his shirt. "Now Murphy's Law says that one of Spencer's lackeys are going to enter and start sniffing around."

"Did you know that Murphy was an optimist?" Ralph asked as he jumped down to join Skywarp and Ed.

Ed snorted as Skywarp looked up at the opening door. "Hah, could have fooled me," Ed muttered as Skywarp tilted his head in curiosity at the hangar's newest occupants.

Before Ralph could retaliate, a sharp feminine voice cut through the chatter. "All right people, part of your jobs as pilots is to keep your _equipment _clean," a woman said, rapping a finger against the body of the nearest jet for emphasis. Her eyes scanned the room while she said; "Now while General Spencer is grilling the most _unfortunate_ Major Cromwell for improper entrance procedures…"

A series of snickers from the closer pilots and technicians cut off the rest of her sentence, but she didn't seem perturbed that she was being interrupted. She merely waited for the titters to end, smoothing out her gray unmarked clothing that seemed somewhat baggy for her before placing a hand on her hip while holding her clipboard in the other. When it was silent again, she said, "So while that's happening, I decided to come and make sure that _everyone _has been keeping very good maintenance of their aircraft. If checked off, you're safe. If not, you have an hour to get shipshape before Spencer remembers that the rest of us are in here."

"Thanks Ed. You jinxed us and brought the eye of Sauron here," Ralph grumbled as the three of them began to split up as the rest of the hangar broke into a frenzy as the woman theatrically checked her clipboard as though deciding where to go first.

"Who is she?" Skywarp asked, checking the femme's colorful outer shell over for any sign of human insignia.

Ed snorted. "She is way out of your league if _that's_ what you're thinking," he said, sending a dark glower in her direction. "No one knows for sure where exactly she stands in Spencer's chain of command, but we have guesses that she's the errand boy for now. Name's Carmen Rivera, and she's a real pain in the rear, especially when she throws in her peanut gallery comments when Spencer is drilling someone."

"Yeah, well, this pain in the rear can hear you," Carmen snapped as she approached them. She stopped dead in her tracks when she realized that Ed was wet. She sighed, lowered her hands so she was standing in an almost military posture. "Do I even _want_ to know why you are wet?" she asked, her voice slightly strained.

"No, ma'am," Ed muttered before ducking down around his jet to get dry. Carmen rolled her eyes before flashing a hand signal to a few technicians that had been hovering nearby. They scuttled off as Carmen turned to face Skywarp.

"What is your name and rank, pilot?" she asked. She ignored the looks of disgust for her and looks of pity for Skywarp that were being sent behind her back.

Skywarp stared at her for a second before remembering what he was supposed to do. "Um…" he began, but she cut him off.

"Well Airman, you need to be quicker about that. The superior officers are less forgiving than I am," she said before stepping around him.

Skywarp glanced at Ralph briefly, who mouthed '_See what I mean?' _ The Decepticon Seeker let out a yelp as he felt an unexpected pain in his gut. Turning around, he found to his horror that there were technicians poking around an opened panel. Carmen, oblivious to his discomfort, was watching on while another technician began searching for another panel underneath the nose of the jet. Skywarp tried not to fidget as the technicians began prodding mercilessly. "Ah, Miss Rivera, I'm sure you know…" Skywarp began in an effort to be polite. The humans were very finicky with politeness; if he were rude to them Skywarp could expect them to be rude back, and the same with politeness. He also got the rare case however when the person he was being rude towards responded in a polite albeit strained manner.

"Yes airman, I do know that your equipment is delicate and requires careful handling. Relax, we're trained professionals," Carmen said without looking at him as she leaned in to inspect something that a technician was examining. "Better to find the potential problem now than later while you're in the air."

How should he tell her that he _was_ the jet and was feeling every little poke? Thundercracker was _still_ tied up with Spencer human and Starscream was close to losing his temper. Both Seekers seemed to have forgotten about their third companion. "So, have you been working with Spencer for very long?" he asked conversationally. Perhaps if he could divert her attention from his innards for more than a few minutes, the technicians would stop since they would not have the directive of their leader.

"Seven years, almost eight," she replied as she made a note on her board.

"Where are you in his command staff?" Skywarp asked. This was the only help he would ever give to another male outside his species, specifically Ralph.

"Classified," she said. Another notation went down into her paper. Peeking past her, Skywarp could see one of the technician's hands starting to inch closer to the energon lines. This had a bit of a pink film on it; the humans would probably label it as a foreign contaminant and then only Primus knew how much longer Skywarp would be delayed at the fragging base.

"Classified as in you can't tell me or you _won't _tell me?" Skywarp asked. Carmen finally caved and looked up at him, her brown eyes flashing slightly. The end of her short brown-haired braid was slightly visible before she jerked her head to displace it.

"Classified as in I won't tell you," she said curtly before turning around again. Skywarp flinched as the second technician took another crack at what he thought was a moveable panel in the side. Carefully so that Carmen couldn't see, Skywarp discreetly sidled over to the technician, elbowed him sharply in the gut, and then disappeared just as Carmen turned to the source of the yelp. Skywarp snickered to himself as the technician sputtered in his attempt to explain himself to Carmen before failing miserably. Skywarp reactivated his hologram behind Carmen, and was shaking his head when she turned to face him again.

"I thought you said you were trained to do this professionally," he said, enjoying the scowl on Carmen's face. She glanced around and found to her dismay that they were slowly attracting an audience of pilots and technicians pretending to work while really watching the scene.

"We _are_," she hissed before scribbling another note on the paper. "You're acting like we're handling a living being or something. Just as an FYI, Spencer is going to be hearing about this if you don't shut up now," she warned.

"Are you Spencer's errand girl or something?" Skywarp asked, genuinely curious now.

"_No!_ Airman, don't you have something you could be doing right now? Such as tidying yourself up?" she said, irritation evident in her voice.

"Are you higher ranked than I am?"

"No! Wait, I mean yes! Yes, I'm higher up than you!" she said, pointedly looking anywhere in the expansive room but him.

"Wait, are you or are you not?"

"Yes! I am!" she hissed, her voice rising with each word.

"You're what?" Skywarp was having fun now.

"I'm higher up than you! Do I need to tattoo that to my forehead?" she demanded, giving him the satisfaction of eye contact again.

"Might improve your physical appearance a bit." Skywarp didn't know what classified as 'pretty' in human cultures and suspected that it was different between each culture seeing that Earth was a host to a myriad of them, but the femmes he'd encountered so far seemed to be somewhat sensitive about their physical appearances. Witwicky's potential black-haired mate was a prime example of that.

The technicians that had been fiddling with him were no longer pretending that they weren't staring. Carmen either didn't notice or care. "Spencer is _definitely_ going to hear about this!" she said.

"Name recognition is important when it comes to rank climbers… although I think that this report is going to mention your name a lot more than mine and you'll look more of the good guy," Skywarp countered. "Especially since you are a femme, and will most likely be overlooked otherwise."

If looks could kill, Megatron would be receiving a pile of purple scrap metal from Thundercracker when Thundercracker returned. "Oh, just… just… just shut up," she sputtered before turning again to see the current object of interest in her subordinate's hand, the pink-coated energon line.

In an act of desperation, Skywarp leaned over and pulled her shoulder hard so that she would have to face him and he could stun her with the act humans called 'kissing'. What he didn't count on was her fist coming around to sucker punch him in the face. Reacting quickly, he dodged the blow and aimed a kick into the back of her knee with the side of his boot, causing her leg to buckle. She had been balancing on that sole leg also in an attempt to get as much momentum into the swing as possible. Caught off balance, Carmen let out a yelp and dropped her clipboard and pencil to grab onto the nearest thing for support: Skywarp's shoulders.

He staggered under the unexpected weight, but did not fall. Instead her hands released him almost immediately and she fell to the ground. She would have landed on her face if her hands hadn't shot out to break her fall. Irritated, Carmen pushed herself up and back onto her feet. Skywarp had the sense to back away as she approached him, her hair mussed up and her expression something fierce. "I have just about had it with you!" she nearly yelled. "I've been having a frustrating day as it is, all because the dominance gene in males decided to kick in today! First a pair of twin jerks earlier, the pizza delivery guy, and now _you_!" With these words she marched right up to Skywarp, who managed to scramble back another few inches before she slapped him across the face.

Or at least she tried to.

She flinched when her hand went straight through the hologram. She took several steps back as the technicians suddenly scrambled to close the panels and tighten them. Then they tripped over each other in their frenzy to get away from Skywarp's physical form. Carmen meanwhile took a deep breath to collect herself. "Captain, contact Major Lennox and tell him that he almost left one of his… ah, _teammates_ behind," she said stiffly. She took her clipboard from the technician, and then said, "You, get his damned serial number while you're at it. I want Lennox to know exactly who _failed_ this inspection." She was still flushed in embarrassment and anger as she smoothed her baggy clothes again in an attempt to regain her professionalism.

_Wait, Lennox? If he's still here, then that can only mean…_

The sudden roar of Thundercracker's engine startled everyone, including Skywarp. "_**The Autobot twins Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are here… they walked into the room where Spencer was hassling me. They know we're here!"**_Thundercracker managed to say over their shared link just as the hangar doors slammed open. Pilots and technicians scattered as a few helmeted personnel stormed the room, closely followed by a yellow Lamborghini. There was a groan as the hangar doors began to close, threatening to trap them in, followed by a loud roar.

Skywarp sensed that with those numbers, he and Thundercracker stood a minimal chance of escape… plus there was something he wanted to try. He'd been watching some human films in his spare time without Starscream noticing, and noticed how when it came to fights between two groups of males, the sole female that happened to be in the vicinity would be taken by one party and threatened to earn the cooperation of the other party. The only problem would be if his intended hostage were not ranked high enough in Spencer's command to warrant such cooperation.

Carmen's curse of surprise was cut off as Skywarp appeared behind her, his arm tightly wrapped around her neck to prevent her from shouting out. He straightened to look at the NEST leader as the hangar doors closed with an ominous _boom_ behind him, Carmen still struggling to break free. A brief sensory scan revealed that Thundercracker had indeed escaped before the doors had closed all the way; Skywarp hadn't been as ready or forewarned as his comrade. An elbow to Carmen's back lessened her struggles long enough for Skywarp to retreat slightly and pull her closer.

There was a grinding sound as Sideswipe and Sunstreaker transformed into their true forms, weapons activated but silent. The NEST leader slowed down and came to a complete stop, his human team copying him. The pilots and technicians who desired not to be a part of this standoff had already vacated the hangar; there were a few curious bystanders casually pretending to be checking the jets over while really stealing side glances at both Sideswipe and Sunstreaker.

"It's just…" Sunstreaker began, a faint expression of disgust crossing his faceplates.

"Stop!" the leader, the male human Lennox from the sound of it, shouted. He pulled his helmet off as though to get a better look at Skywarp and ensure that there was no potential for misinterpretations in the exchange. "You're one of the Decepticons," he said.

"Yes I am…" Skywarp began, but Carmen cut him off.

"I think it's safe to assume that major, because none of the Autobots acted like this," she growled. Her sentence was cut off as Skywarp tightened his grip around her neck.

"Open the hangar doors, and she can go free," Skywarp said, remembering the lines from the last human film he saw, _Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade._ He'd been quietly exploring the website Youtube when he found a bunch of users' comments about a particular scene from the film. Starscream had been busy with a shouting match against a Decepticon, Skywarp couldn't remember which, but the point was that Starscream was distracted.

Which left Skywarp free to look at the film at his leisure.

Lennox stood up and gestured for the Autobot twins to lower their weapons. While he did this, Carmen managed to wiggle herself free enough to slide another comment in. "Do you have any idea what you're doing? Or should it not be a surprise to me that one of the first things that you 'Decepticons' learn after arriving here is how to take a hostage?" she whispered as he pulled her toward his physical form slowly as to not startle Sunstreaker into something rash; the yellow Autobot had his weapons out despite the 'lower weapons' order earlier.

"Open the hangar doors!" Lennox finally shouted, his easy compliance startling Skywarp a bit. The purple Decepticon had been expecting _some _form of resistance from the humans; maybe Carmen was a bit higher than she initially let on.

When no one immediately complied, a man that Skywarp had never seen before yelled, "What are you idiots waiting for? _Open the damn doors!"_

"Easy Spencer, you don't want to encourage the Decepticon," Epps said, gingerly placing a hand on the irate general's shoulder.

There was a groan and creaking as the hangar doors began to open again, exposing the glorious runway and freedom. Skywarp could just make out a navy dot in the sky as Thundercracker harassed the air control tower and the base in general while maintaining a safe distance from the base defense system. He hesitated, and then his hologram vanished, leaving Carmen to crumple to the floor. She scrambled away just as the jet immediately began to move for the exit. The humans watched as the jet slipped out of the hangar doors, and Lennox swore he heard Skywarp cackling in glee at his success.

Carmen was the first to explode once Skywarp left the room. "While I do appreciate the rescue effort, you should have just kept the damn doors shut! Now you're going to have to go find him all over again-" she began, her face flushing in embarrassment.

"Two can easily play at the Decepticon's game," Lennox assured her before gesturing for his men to return back to the tarmac: albeit slowly. Carmen frowned at their leisurely pace. Why weren't they hurrying?

Meanwhile, Skywarp was grateful for the escape. His link with Thundercracker had been jammed, so the chatting would have to occur later once they were out of range of the jamming. As per expectations, the Autobots were compliant when it came to the threatened life of one of the humans. He would have to do a little poking into the records to find out Carmen's real position in the chain of command.

At least he _heard_ the cannon before the projectile hit him.

"What the slag?" he shrieked, banking right in the nick of time to avoid one of Ironhide's missiles. A scan below revealed that there were armed Autobots waiting below. They were also uncomfortably close, seeing that they'd been hanging out near the runway. Now they had a clear shot at Skywarp's tailfins.

_Ah, so there is the second reason for their compliance…_

Inside the hangar, General Spencer and his staff could hear Skywarp's curses and return fire as he soared to evade the trap he'd flown into. Spencer and Carmen walked to the hangar doors and looked out as Skywarp narrowly dodged a sleek bomber only to be caught up in what looked like a strange version of keep-away. The navy jet was trying to jump in with his comrade "Money on the Decepticon," Carmen said after a moment.

Spencer glowered at her. "What were you doing near him in the first place?" he said, his tone mirroring his expression.

"Working. I'm not sixteen and dating anymore, _Dad_. No more guys. I have two kids at home remember?"

Spencer snorted. "And widowed if I recall," he said mildly.

Carmen threw him a look of pure poison before turning back to leave, but not before watching the Decepticon vanish in a purple flash, accidentally taking the bomber with it.

"Can't wait to hear that one when Skyfire gets back," Lennox said grimly as he walked up to them. "I have faith that he'll get back… hopefully without further entanglement. Ironhide! Let's go catch up to them, follow Thundercracker!" he shouted, turning and running back to the black GMC that was now sitting on the tarmac.

A/N: Anyone else hear that Paramount dropped Megan Fox from Transformers 3? She and Michael Bay were apparently fighting, and someone decided it was time for Sam to have a 'new love interest'. There's a whole list of potential candidates to fill in that spot, along with the positives and negatives of each choice.


	28. Thirty Feet Under

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Thirty Feet Under

"This _sucks_," Ari whispered as she stared gloomily at the foam cup of now stale coffee on the table. It was the first words she'd uttered all day, one day after the annihilation of her chocolate doughnuts courtesy of Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. Woodley didn't say anything; the treats had been a bribe for Aliskevicz's cooperation in distracting the twins so that Woodley, NEST's new liaison, could meet Optimus Prime without being traumatized first. Ari had tricked the twins into thinking they were going to step on her, only to send them both to the ground and scratch up Sunstreaker's paint.

Well, she _had_ been asking for it.

"You can always get more," Lennox suggested, gently pushing her plate with her bagel and cream cheese closer to her in an attempt to encourage her to eat again. In a fit of childish behavior, she grumpily pushed the plate away from her before resting her head on the cushion of her arms on the table.

Ari glared at him from where she was resting her head. "Yeah, where? I'm tired, I was dragged across nine or ten time zones _against_ my will, had my bribes forcibly taken from me, and I didn't sleep well at all last night despite the fact I was wiped out. I was afraid that the twins were going to come into my room and slingshot me off the island or something scary like that…" she snarled, her voice trailing off as another wave of exhaustion hit her.

"This coming from a fighter pilot? I thought you were used to such heights," Woodley said, frowning.

Ari narrowed her eyes at him. "Yeah, _when I'm in a jet with a parachute!_" she snapped, her eyes flashing dangerously. She let out a small whimper and let her head crash back onto the table.

Lennox stared at her thoughtfully, and then asked, "Did you think to check the refrigerator in the officers' lounge?"

Ari's head perked up at the mention. "What's in there?" she asked, her whole body suddenly still at the possibility of more treats.

Lennox glanced back to make sure that Ratchet was sufficiently distracted before turning around to face her again. "Some of the other guys keep some sugar-laden contraband in there because they know that Ratchet's not going to look there. Something about some food in there being more alive than it should be…" Lennox said, his voice trailing off when Ratchet walked by their table. He waited until Ratchet was a good distance away before saying, "I recommend you bring a short-range weapon of some sort just in case the leftover meat loaf goes rogue."

Ari snorted at the thought of food attacking. "Yeah, well, the twins are worse than a bad piece of meat. The meat you can get rid of easily. The twins, not so much," she said, stirring her stale coffee with her spoon. "What kind of stuff you got?" she asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Bear claws, cinnamon rolls, a few chocolate cannolis, apple strudels and a few other pastries that Ratchet wouldn't approve of. Stuff that shouldn't spoil easily, and all are on the bottom shelf," Lennox explained as the medical officer in question paused at the mess hall entrance to talk with one of his colleagues within the medical department of NEST.

"Did you raid a bakery before leaving or something?" Ari asked with all seriousness, an eyebrow arched in curiosity.

"No, once goodies started becoming confiscated, the others realized that it was time to stock up when they could. Money came out of their pockets; Ratchet has access to NEST budget records and would have caught on sooner if grossly unhealthy stuff started appearing on the records," Lennox explained, leaning back in his chair. "As far as I know, only the humans know about it, so as long as you keep it discreet from Sunstreaker, it should let you last until Woodley gets a hold of more chocolate doughnuts," he added, careful not to look at Woodley as he said this. The implication was somewhat obvious; the money for the food would have to come out of either Ari's or Woodley's pocket.

"I'm not paying for them," Woodley said bluntly.

Ari scowled but fished out a twenty. "That should cover it," she said before looking past Woodley. Her eyes widened to the size of saucers, and then she slowly got up from her seat. "See you later," she murmured softly as she snatched the remains of her sandwich and abruptly left the mess hall.

Ari shuddered as she walked into the corridor. Lennox and Woodley were going to find out in a few more seconds, but both Sideswipe and Sunstreaker had walked into the mess. She hadn't seen them since Sunstreaker was running for the sake of his life after using his cannon on the doughnuts. To dig it in a little more, when Ari had gone back to the hangar to recover the chunks for perhaps a small edible piece, she had found seagulls were snacking on the leftovers. Obviously it hadn't improved her mood.

_Clunk, clunk…_

Ari instinctively froze at the metallic footsteps before scuttling out the way. She held her breath in slight terror as first Sideswipe then Sunstreaker came around the corner, speaking to each other in their native language. Whatever they were talking about was making Sunstreaker excited, and Sideswipe seemed to be cautioning him. Ari could only imagine what mischief they were cooking up now. Just as long as it didn't involve her, she was cool.

She didn't move until they were out of sight and out of hearing range. Even then she didn't move, erring on the side of caution for this one. Only the good Lord knew what they were going to do, and who was going to suffer as a result. Again, she didn't care as long as it wasn't her who was going to be the day's victim. She had to have already filled her requirement of being a prank victim because of yesterday.

After twenty-five or so minutes standing there, waiting, she finally plucked up the courage to go back to her original mission. She found the officers' lounge without further incident, and clapped her hands together in an eager manner.

Thankfully, the lounge was unlocked. The word 'NEST OFFICERS ONLY' was written in English, French, Spanish, and what Ari assumed to be Cybertronian hieroglyphics. Interested, she pushed the door open, wincing when she heard indignant squeaks from the hinges.

The lounge was plainer than the one she'd encountered once in New York, but that all didn't matter. Ari placed her plate on the nearby table before looking around for the short white refrigerator. Spotting it against the far wall, she made a beeline for the refrigerator, and, licking her lips in anticipation, opened the refrigerator door. She then kneeled down to peer into the bottom shelf.

It was time for restocking. A half-eaten cinnamon roll was all that was left in a field of crumbs and smeared chocolate frosting. As her mind went into a state of denial she scanned the shelf more carefully, but found nothing. What made it worse was that the smeared chocolate left a telltale path out of the fridge and onto the carpet and across the room to the window over the sill to the outside. She swallowed nervously before peering out the window.

Someone had to invest in, or add proper targets to the NEST budget. Both twins must have been listening to Lennox's words, because the pastries he'd mentioned were being used for moving targets. Sunstreaker was being careful enough to stay out of range of the exploding glazes, frostings, and fillers as Sideswipe tossed them into the air. After Sunstreaker blew one up, both twins would investigate the splatter range, as though trying to figure out how powerful their weapons were and what the effects would be against a Decepticon. Ari tried to take consolation in the fact that the twins were trying to stay sharp for any confrontations with Decepticons, it was just so hard to do that when she could list off five different ways to practice _without_ using food.

Keeping her whimpers to herself, she shut the fridge and walked back to the entrance to the lounge, taking her bagel with her as she went. The caffeine from the NEST-cafeteria coffee was the only thing really keeping her awake. It wasn't enough though for her to maintain her usual chirpy attitude throughout the day.

In an almost trance-like state, she headed over to the rec room down the hall to take advantage of the TV and the DVD collection underneath the screen. She found that no one else was in the room, granting her the desired peace and quiet for a healing movie. She walked over to the DVD player to find that there was already a movie in. Unwilling to exert the effort into actually finding another movie and switching it, she went back to her armchair, picking up the remote in the process.

The film in the machine turned out to be _Swiss Family Robinson_. One of Riley's favorite movies despite its age. Ari decided that now was as good a time as ever to find out why. She settled down in the comfy armchair, and began picking at her sandwich as the opening credits came onto the screen. As the film continued, her bagel steadily disappeared until only the plate remained with its own personal field of crumbs.

She didn't know if it was halfway through the film, but she felt unusually sleepy. The heat of the island only added to her exhaustion. Stifling a yawn, she paused the movie and then promptly fell asleep.

Ari wasn't much of a dreamer, she was usually too tired to come up with any while sleeping. If she did, she never remembered them. But this one took the prize for the most bizarre dream she could remember after waking up. She had been on the island, with two pastries dressed like pirates chasing her across the place. But right as the pastries caught up, she woke up several hours later, shaking slightly but alive nonetheless.

She hadn't been bored by the movie per se, but it was more of exhaustion from the night before. She leaned against the window frame of the hangar, staring contemplatively out at the grassy areas of Diego Garcia, and the thin strip of beach beyond that. She could see the twins, flashes of yellow and red in the sun with the black form of Ironhide as he watched them. Sand flew up wherever they stepped or slammed into each other, Ironhide stepping in to correct something that one of the twins were doing.

Ari had heard from Woodley that there was a second pair of twins on their way from the stars. Ironhide was going to have his hands full.

There was a strangled yell as one of the twins suddenly stumbled, his foot getting stuck in the ground. Ari snorted softly as Sunstreaker yowled something in Cybertronian as Sideswipe began laughing at his brother's misfortune. Ari knew that Sunstreaker hated sand, it got everywhere. She didn't blame him, that's exactly why she hated it too. It would completely suck for Sunstreaker if he got covered in sand, or was trapped in the stuff. Too bad she couldn't make a quicksand big enough to swallow him up, catch it all on video, and then post it on the Internet. It would totally be worth all the trouble she would get into afterwards, she was still hurting from the loss of the chocolate cannolis.

She peeled herself away from the window and began walking slowly back down the hall. She wondered if Lennox knew a way off of Diego Garcia. She missed her friends in the squadron, missed Tyler, and was admittedly very bored. She knew as a fact from previous experience that the Internet was very fickle out here. As she crossed the rec room back to the entrance, she paused, looking at the DVD player. Might as well as do the good thing and put the movie back, maybe stick a children's film in to aggravate the next viewer.

As she pressed a random button to wake the machine up, an image from the movie came up on the screen, the last one she had seen before hitting 'Pause' in order to take her nap without missing much of the movie. In the image, a few main characters were frozen in motion, with a few pirates behind them. Puzzled, Ari pressed 'Play', and sat back on her heels to watch in fascination as the characters ran forward, only to stop suddenly. As the pirates barreled closer, the characters ran quickly across a circular patch of woven grasses. Being light, the characters got away with running on top, but the pirates, weighed down with their gear and weaponry, charged after them. Ari could only watch in wonder as the pirates suddenly lost their footing as the green mesh below them gave way. Ari, remembering how the main characters had set up this mesh net earlier in the film, winced at the following few minutes.

Actually, that gave her an idea. The soil on Diego Garcia was loose enough to pull this off, and then there was the added bonus of being this close the ocean; water was likely to be closer to the surface than it would be in the landlocked terrain of the United States. There was plenty of grass to tie together into a net. She could ask Ironhide for help too, she didn't see much disagreement coming from his end. He hated the twins' pranks as much as she did, and might entertain this idea of paybacks. She would also have to select the highest point of elevation on Diego Garcia that wasn't covered with NEST equipment, to ensure there wouldn't be a pool by the time the twins went in. The timing wasn't restricted either; she could tie the grasses together and if she had help, it would be done quickly, the hole could be made later in the afternoon, and the twins would be in by twilight.

Oh yes, she could probably pull this off.

But first she needed to find Ironhide.

* * *

Sunstreaker was bored.

He and his brother were resting in the shade of the hangar, escaping the noonday sun. Sand was still spilling out of his foot where it had been lodged when Sunstreaker had stumbled during target practice during the morning. The only humans present were the technicians, and they were already very used to the twins' shenanigans so scaring them was out of the question. Sunstreaker's current favorite human for terrifying had been out of sight all morning and all afternoon, being spotted briefly in the mess hall. After she'd torn out of there, the twins couldn't find her, but had found more sticky targets that seemed to be related to the chocolate doughnuts from yesterday.

Right now, Sunstreaker idly watched as Jolt scooped up what looked like to be a huge handful of grasses before studying them intently. Then he seemed to move on to some point off to the side, the hangar wall blocking Sunstreaker's view.

"I heard from Optimus that Skids and Mudflap are going to be arriving soon. In an Earth week or so," Sideswipe said lazily from where he was laying on his back. "Want to lay out a nice 'Welcome to the New House' mat for them?"

"I was thinking more of the red carpet treatment," Sunstreaker replied, twisting his head slightly to see his brother better.

"I don't think they can swim, and Optimus asked us to play nice, remember?"

Sunstreaker twisted his golden faceplates into scowl. "I don't feel like playing nice right now," he said before turning back to stare at a human using a rubber hose to clean off the grime from one of real human all-terrain vehicles.

A door slammed shut nearby, and both Sunstreaker and Sideswipe turned to find the Aliskevicz girl, Sunstreaker's current favorite human to torment entering the room. She seemed busy for real this time, lugging a big portable water tank and a ball of twine behind her. "Excuse me, I need this," she said to the technician hosing the vehicle down.

"Do you have the keys?" he asked.

"Yes. I'll wash it off myself when I'm done," she said, either ignoring or completely missing the twins sitting there.

The technician raised his hands in surrender. He shut the hose off and backed off as Ari went around and unlatched the back. With a grunt, she heaved the water tank into the back of the vehicle. She tossed the twine into the passenger seat, and, seeing the technician's water hose, asked, "Is that thing detachable?"

"Yes it is, why?" the technician asked warily.

"Detach it. I'll put it back."

"You better," the technician warned before relinquishing the hose to the woman. He walked over to where the hose connected to the wall.

"Hey fleshy!" Sideswipe shouted, causing Ari to jump in alarm. "Are you going to cool us down with that?" he asked as Sunstreaker nodded in agreement.

She smiled very sweetly. "Oh no, I don't think I'm worthy enough to get Sunstreaker's perfect, golden paint wet with such a common piece of equipment," she said while smiling. "Besides, I'm getting some saltwater for a scouring project in another hangar," she added as she started up the vehicle, the technician putting the rest of the hose into the back of the vehicle.

"Sounds like hard work," Sunstreaker said, shuddering at the thought of saltwater.

"So are you going to dismiss me from your golden and exalted presence?" Ari asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"Yes, scram and don't come back unless you've got freshwater for us," Sunstreaker said, waving his hand a bit. He liked her new attitude.

Apparently so did the technician. He was fighting back a smirk as he headed back indoor for his next task.

It became quiet and boring almost immediately for the twins. Sunstreaker closed his optics and dozed while Sideswipe copied him, both of them thinking of proper ways to introduce Skids and Mudflap to the island base.

_Boom!_

Both twins jerked back into consciousness at the sound of Ironhide's cannon. Then there was the sound of faint shouting, closely followed by another _boom_. There was a brief second of shouting, and then another _boom._ "Call it a hunch, but I think she lied about the scouring project and really squirted Ironhide with seawater," Sideswipe said. "We should consider getting her on board with us."

"Nah, she has to do something _really_ nasty in order for consideration," Sunstreaker disagreed.

"True."

Silence followed for another couple of minutes, and then an immense shadow blocked the hangar entrance. Sunstreaker cracked an optic open to find Jolt standing there. Surprising really, seeing that Jolt kept to himself most of the time when he wasn't exploring the island. Jolt had yet to be the victim of one of Sunstreaker's pranks, and Sunstreaker wondered what would aggravate his fellow Autobot the most. "What do you want?" he finally asked when Jolt didn't say anything.

Sideswipe sat up in alarm as Jolt activated his cannon, but before either twin could react, Jolt aimed up and blasted one end of a metallic beam on the ceiling. It came down and _whacked_ Sideswipe in the back, pitching him forward toward Sunstreaker.

"He's mine!" Sideswipe roared as Jolt took a few steps and took off.

Sunstreaker was too busy laughing at his brother's predicament to comment. But he also missed the _groan_ as the other end of the beam, already weakened from the first and unable to hold the weight, cracked, and then finally snapped off. He did notice however when it landed on his head.

Now _it's personal._

"He's _mine!" _Sunstreaker roared, catching his brother's ankle and pulling him down so that Sideswipe created a body imprint in the hangar floor. Upon seeing the debris and marring lines on his brother's head, Sideswipe started laughing, and had no guilt whatsoever in grabbing Sunstreaker's ankle and pulling _him _down to the ground. He used Sunstreaker as a brace to get up and nimbly dodged Sunstreaker's fingers. Angered, Sunstreaker picked himself up and tore after his brother.

Geysers of sand and grass erupted with each footstep as both twins followed Jolt's silver form. Blinded by anger, Sunstreaker cackled when he saw that Jolt had suddenly stopped and was facing them, looking quite terrified. Jolt was boxed in because there was only a thin stretch of beach and open sea behind him. In the end, he supposed, it didn't matter who got to Jolt first, what mattered was that Jolt was going to feel the wrath from both of them.

Sideswipe lunged for Jolt, letting out a war cry in the process. Startled, Jolt jumped away from the red Autobot. Sideswipe suddenly realized something; he had miscalculated and he was going to land face first onto a patch of flattened grass directly below him. Oh well, it only meant that Sunstreaker was going to catch up to Jolt first.

Sunstreaker's only warning that something was terribly wrong was when Sideswipe suddenly disappeared when he was coming down from the lunge and Jolt seemed to relax. The first bad sign was when he started slipping through muddy sand. As he slid forward at a high speed, Sunstreaker let out a howl when he came to the edge of a muddy pit. He clawed desperately for the edge but the muddy sand gave way underneath his fingers and he fell down.

_Clang! Whoosh!_

What seemed like gallons of seawater rushed by Sunstreaker's audio receptors as he landed on something hard and metallic. Then there was a rapid plunking sound as it all came back down. Sunstreaker moaned in despair at the loss of his paint job; and then spat out the seawater that had gotten into his mouth.

When all fell silent, both twins heard laughter up above. After Sideswipe, grass plastered all down his front, shoved Sunstreaker aside, he looked up at the edge of the huge pit, and found one human head and two Cybertronian heads peering down at them. Ari was cackling with glee as Ironhide shook his head while Jolt snickered.

"Thanks guys, I totally owe you both one," Ari said cheerfully as she looked at the two Cybertronians on either side of her. "So guys, how does it feel to be on the receiving end?" she asked the twins conversationally.

"I can't wait for you to go back to the States," Sunstreaker growled while Sideswipe peeled woven grasses off of himself.

"You suck, you know that?" Sideswipe shouted, using a human curse just to drive the point home.

"Yeah, so do you. Literally," Ari shouted back as Sunstreaker pried his arm out of the muddy wall, making a loud sucking sound as he did so. Ari straightened and turned to Ironhide. "Thanks for helping me make the hole, and Jolt, thank _you_ for helping with the water and getting them here," she said, turning to Jolt as she addressed him.

"Okay you win. Now let us out!" Sideswipe yelled from below.

"Not until _I_ think you've learned your lesson," Ari shouted back. "Now I'm going back in, I've got to return the AT vehicle, the water tank, and the hose," she said to Ironhide who nodded. She glanced down the hole again as Jolt disappeared, heading back to his exploring. "How long do you think we should keep them down there?" she asked Ironhide.

Ironhide snorted. "The two of you are going to stay there until sundown, when we'll come to help you out," he said to the twins. "In the meantime, feel free to climb out." Ignoring their protests, Ironhide turned and began heading back towards the main base.

Sunstreaker moaned at the damage dealt to his paint. There was mud, grass and scratches all over his arms, and he could only imagine what the rest of him looked like. Heck, he didn't _want_ to imagine it right now.

"So," Sideswipe said conversationally. "Was that nasty enough for consideration?"

"No, she just declared full war," Sunstreaker growled as one of his arm plates came off in his hand as he was checking to make sure he was still in one piece.

"Looks like the wall's too muddy for climbing. Betcha she planned that. So are we going to wait for rescue then?"

"Yes, yes we are."

"When's sunset?"

Sunstreaker was quiet for a few seconds before admitting, "I really don't know."

**A/N: In this context, a bear claw is a pastry… shaped like a claw that's generally got sliced almonds on top with a glaze. I've never had one before because of allergies, but someone I know very well loves them and says they're great. This is technically the 'sequel' to Sugar Fix, but I think can be read as a stand-alone.  
**


	29. Aquatic Vengeance

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Aquatic Vengeance

Jolt should have been worried that the twins hadn't come after him the second they'd escaped the sand pit that Ari had convinced Ironhide to make. It was Ratchet of all mechs who took pity on them and finally pulled them out about two hours or so before sunset. Ari said it was because the medic approved of the twins destroying the sugar goodies. Lennox disagreed and said it was because Ratchet was trying to make the twins feel indebted to him and therefore be less of a problem for him. Ironhide said that Ratchet freed them because something had been loose in Ratchet's processor at the time.

It was Ironhide who experienced Ratchet's foul mood during his checkup. Ari had been laughing the rest of the day while Jolt hid from the medic and the twins.

The next day, true to form, the twins Skids and Mudflap had somehow gotten into an argument while coming in toward Earth's atmosphere, knocking each other both off the preprogrammed course. They did not crash in a farm, or someone's field, but rather the New England city of Boston, Massachusetts. As per the president's orders, the National Guard secured the site immediately, and then the address of the crash site was sent to Lennox via radio. This sent the team into preparing for the recovery mission.

"There are approximately 620,535 residents in the _entire_ city of Boston, and the two dolts _had_ to crash into my mother's house," Ari said darkly as she dropped the two packs onto the plane deck near Jolt. She wore a childish scowl on her face, and it looked as though she were blaming Lennox for the twins' bad aim.

"How ironic, seeing you dumped two twins into a thirty-foot pit that took an hour and a half to pull them out of," Lennox said as Jolt settled in the back of the C-17 carrier with Ironhide grudgingly sitting next to a still slightly irate medic.

"Karma is a bitch," Ari said smoothly, sticking her tongue out at Lennox once his back was turned. "Besides, since my parents' divorce, my mother has had this fragile mental stability…"

"Liar. I met Ms. Aliskevicz at a function one time, the same one where you received your promotion to lieutenant. She'd just threatened deck the maitre d' if he spilled wine on her dress," Lennox countered.

"_You're_ lying, Mom is too nice for that sort of thing," Ari shot back as she leaned against Jolt as the ramp closed up, the plane's engines powering up below them. She was quiet for a moment before saying, "As an FYI, we're working together on security detail on this mission, Jolt." That being said, she walked over to the bench where the other few humans were sitting and strapped herself in before staring out into space.

"Looking forward to it," Jolt said warily. He trained his sensors on the twins, who were trying out other Earth languages, the current one being Catalan, a Spanish dialect from the European nation of Spain. Ironhide, sitting in front of Jolt and as far from Ratchet as physically possible, grumbled something unintelligible in their native Cybertronian about the C-17 itself and why there was a logical reason that he had never been an Autobot capable of flight. Jolt noted with a significant degree of satisfaction that the pest Galloway was not onboard; apparently one ride in the C-17 with Autobots was enough to last him a lifetime… and he must have heard that Ari was dying to push him out again so that she could witness the fall for herself. No one had thought to catch it on tape the first time.

Ratchet seemed to be quietly enduring the ride, Jolt didn't know about his attitude about being in flight. The medic's nerves seemed stretched thin however, and this became evident once he politely asked Ironhide to quit the whining about being in flight, and then asked Ironhide if he remembered the time pirates had jumped onto the ship the last time they went by sea. Ironhide retaliated by saying he'd rather deal with human pirates any day instead of a surprise attack from Skywarp, the 'loose cannon' of the Seeker trio. Ari didn't help, she only threw more fuel onto the fire by politely asking Ironhide to quit his bellyaching and not make the trip miserable for everyone else. Lennox had to step in and ask Ari to back down, and assure Ironhide that if the Seekers decided to cause trouble, they would have ample warning and time to summon fighters to support them. The C-17 itself had weaponry also. Quiet reigned until Ari asked what would happen if the C-17 had _real_ engine failure when the Seekers attacked, and wouldn't the weapons, powered by electronic signals, fail because Decepticons could short out circuitry? It was a question no one wanted to address or consider at the moment, but Ari persisted as though to make sure _everyone_ was thinking about it. She went quiet before Lennox could shut her up.

Jolt decided to help Lennox. Remembering an earlier conversation between Lennox and Ari, he asked her, "Is your maternal parent really as calm as you claimed earlier?"

"Hell no. Major Lennox just didn't see the part where she chewed the maitre d' out for spilling sauce on her dress," Ari said dismissively. "Of course she had the tough attitude; she had to raise my brother and I after all."

"Primus, there are two of you?"

"Yeah, but everyone says Jeff is much calmer than I am for some reason," Ari said. She frowned, and then added, "I just realized that when I tell people I have a brother, they freak out for no apparent reason. I wonder why that is."

_Maybe because they're worried that there are two people with your temperament, and one is apparently enough for them to handle, _Jolt thought, but didn't say it aloud. To do so, would invite another debate with Lennox as Ari would turn to one of her human companions to prove Jolt wrong. Aloud, he suggested, "Maybe they're hopeful to get two of you with your dynamic personality, and are excited to know there's another one like that out there."

"You really think so?" Ari said so hopefully that Jolt felt a smidge guilty for giving her false hope. Lennox along with two other humans looked as though they were refraining from laughing too hard at Ari's expression. She turned to face them, and the smiles were instantly replaced with serious expressions. "Where are we landing?" she asked, looking nervous.

"Fort Deven in Harvard, Mass," Lennox said, glancing at his watch. "From there, we more or less race across partway across the state to the suburbs of Boston. Hopefully, Skids and Mudflap will have received Optimus's message to stay put and will be there for us to collect them and come back. One of the Autobots and the humans will go into a smaller aircraft for the flight back; it's going to be packed in here as it is."

"Can I go?" both Ironhide and Jolt chimed at once. Being 'roommates' with a soon-to-be cranky medic and two sets of twins was going to be ugly for the Autobot who didn't switch out in time.

"Can I stay?" Ari asked hopefully.

"No to Ari, maybe to Jolt, and yes to Ironhide," Lennox said rapidly, having gained practice at speedy response from his daughter Annabelle's never ending questions. The plane began to descend, and he picked up his pack from the floor.

"I don't know about you, but I think you're playing favorites here," Ari said as she picked up her pack also, cursing briefly when the plane jolted as its wheels hit the runway outside underneath the aircraft's belly. She leaned over and handed her neighbor his pack since it was closer to her than him.

"Let me know if it becomes too obvious," Lennox replied dryly.

Jolt waited somewhat impatiently as Sunstreaker and Sideswipe finished up their conversation in time to realize that the plane had come to a complete stop and that the ramp was down, waiting for the departure. "All right, we're heading straight to the address sent to us. Don't stop; stay with Ratchet… Ratchet, use the sirens so that there is no question at stoplights. Everyone present is going to be auxiliary vehicles for the emergency we're heading to. I don't know if the owner of the property, Ms. Mary Reardon, was even home when this happened but I don't want to take chances," Lennox said, glancing warily at Ari, who was distracted by something on her black-gloved fingers. Instead of the NEST combat gear, she was wearing the black stealth armor and gear that her old superior officer, Stanton seemed to favor when going into close-quarter combat.

"I'm with Jolt," she said, completely unaware of the fact that Lennox had been doubtful of her mother's survival. She smiled simply at Lennox as she wiped her fingers on her pants leg before walking over to Jolt.

Lennox sighed, and walked over to where she was opening the back door. "Ari, I don't know if your mother survived the impact or not," he said quietly.

"Better start praying she did then," Ari said coolly as she closed the door and walked to the driver's side. "Or you're going to have two giant metal pretzels around a tree," she said before getting into Jolt, who started his engine.

"Would you really do that?" Jolt asked.

"No. Just let Lennox sweat it out for now. Thank God my fiancé is in New York right now, he'd have such a heart attack if something like that happened to him," she said as Ratchet left the runway area and onto a small service road that was connected to the tarmac. "It's a shame I don't know a shortcut to home from here, I've never been stationed at Fort Deven before. My friend Alexis was once. She said that there used to be a red-tailed hawk that was her old squadron's mascot before Skywarp shot it clean out of the sky. That's why F-22s aren't allowed around here anymore."

Jolt checked the Internet quickly for an image of the red-tailed hawk. "Skywarp probably felt threatened because he wasn't the most colorful thing out in the sky anymore," he suggested after viewing the image.

"Serious? Is he as vain as Sunstreaker or something?"

Jolt honestly didn't know, having never asked Skywarp that particular question before. Not that he would have had an opportunity to get that close anyway. It wasn't a big secret that Skywarp wasn't _that_ popular within the Decepticon ranks, being more of a fan favorite for others. "I personally wouldn't say he is _as_ vain as Sunstreaker, but then again, I don't know, maybe you can ask him yourself, or ask Starscream to ask him," Jolt said.

"Yeah, and then get blasted by Screamer's null cannons. Good idea."

"Well, I didn't mean it like that," Jolt said, keeping Ironhide's black form in view as the Autobots managed to get onto a road that had signs pointing toward the highway. "I just meant that if we ever catch a Seeker, we could just pass the message along."

"Hm, maybe. Whose bright idea was it to go to Fort Deven when we could have just gotten in closer?" Ari muttered, pulling her cell phone out and flipping the front to reveal a miniature keyboard. "Don't pull over for anyone; I think Barricade gets a kick out of constantly pulling us over for one reason or another," she said as her fingers tapped the keys, the text message remaining a secret to Jolt as he merged onto the highway.

Round two of twin torture began.

"_**Primus, these humans are so slow**__,_" Sunstreaker whined over the link to no one in particular. Jolt checked to see that the yellow Autobot was way ahead with his brother in the most left lane, the passing lane as the humans called it. "_**And the dirt is getting into me and it is irritating. It's going to take many solar cycles just to get to our destination, and by then the slagging media is going to be there and…"**_

"Hey Sunny, you want an easy ride? Check out the North Yungas Road in Bolivia when you have spare time. Safest and _easiest_ road on the planet," Ari said, grinning nastily. Jolt recognized that smile; it was the one she'd gotten when talking to Ironhide and himself when she was plotting vengeance on the twins.

"_**Don't listen to her Sunstreaker, it's the most dangerous road on the planet,"**_ Lennox warned from where he was with Ironhide. _**"Hundreds of people died every year until they opened an alternate, safer route."**_ He fell silent as Ratchet seemed to change his mind, suddenly abandoning the highway route. Jolt realized that the medic had found a less-monitored side road that ran parallel to the highway via some real time online maps.

Jolt felt his curiosity piqued as the Autobots almost immediately entered a green tunnel of trees after getting off the highway. The traffic light at the end of the ramp was green, so there was no time to stop and take a look around. Ari didn't seem to take notice of the scenery either; she seemed to be lightly dozing in the driver's seat. Jolt could see why Ratchet chose the route; not only was it scenic, with views of gentle rolling hills through the trees to their right, but it there were two lanes in either direction instead of one with no one else around. Ironhide accelerated, pulling up next to Ratchet and revving as though to race the medic. Jolt, not willing to be a part of their competition for now, settled comfortably behind Ratchet on the right side.

"_**Hey, where are the twins?" **_

_That _woke Ari up. "Maybe we lost them permanently?" she asked hopefully.

"_**No, the slagging idiots didn't get off the highway because they were ahead of us,"**_ Ironhide growled over the link, and Jolt checked with his own sensors to find the twins' signals coming from the highway that was running alongside them to the right. They were still both in the passing lane, still enjoying the high speeds the lane had promised them in the beginning of the trip.

"Betcha we can beat them," Jolt said to his older companions.

"_**Don't even try, I'm sure if we can still sense them, they can sense us,"**_ Ironhide warned, but Jolt was already accelerating. Ironhide cursed as the smaller Autobot managed to wedge himself between the two bigger Autobots. Jolt kept Sunstreaker's signal in check as he accelerated to get ahead of Ratchet, who was muttering something about the young and recklessness going well together.

Sunstreaker seemed to respond to the challenge, accelerating ahead of his brother. Faintly, the Autobots heard indignant honks from car horns as Sunstreaker and Sideswipe both rushed to keep up with their comrade. "Hey Jolt, not that I mind the sudden increase in speed, but, um, _why_ are we doing this?" Ari asked as her attention was finally snagged from the red cell phone in her hand.

"Racing Sunstreaker," Jolt said, mindful to keep an eye on the road and on Sunstreaker's signal.

Ari thought about this for a moment. "How does this sound? I drive and you keep an eye on Sunny. You'll know when you'll have to take over for some reason or another because I'll scream bloody murder," she said, gently tossing the phone to the passenger seat and tentatively placing her hands on the wheel and foot on the gas pedal. "That way I stand a lesser chance of getting killed, okay?"

"How about this, I drive and you steer."

"Okay, better than what I had in mind," Ari said, moving her feet away from the brake and gas pedals. Her grip increased on the steering wheel, and she focused on the road ahead while Jolt kept his sensors on Sunstreaker. There was no doubt now whether the yellow Autobot knew about this or not; Sunstreaker was racing ahead and Sideswipe was several cars behind his brother as he sought to maintain what control he had over obeying Ratchet's rules that were laid down before the trip.

"Haven't gotten caught yet?" Jolt asked Sunstreaker as there was a break in the trees and the two Autobots found themselves parallel with each other. Sunstreaker was casually weaving in and out of the lanes of traffic as he sought for the lead.

"_**Humans are unobservant when it comes to stuff like that. By the time I register on their speed-monitoring devices, I'll be long gone,**_" Sunstreaker replied, unconcerned as ever about the fact he was speeding. What puzzled Jolt was that Ratchet, long left in the dust, wasn't reprimanding Sunstreaker yet.

"Finish line shall be our destination?" Jolt asked, feeling a few green leaves slap against his side as he accelerated. Being an Autobot, he was more or less able to sense the gradual curves in the road, and adjusted his direction when Ari's weak human eyes missed the turn in the road.

"_**Works for me. See you there!"**_

"Not if I get there first!" Jolt challenged.

"Hey Silver, I know where we are now! Hang a left up here and then take an immediate right. There's a shortcut to my place, I remember this terrain now," Ari said, as she tightened her grip on the steering wheel. "Sunny boy will be stuck going straight through a tollbooth while we're going to run parallel with the highway for another mile, and then take a small highway trip for three exits. Sunny won't know, and we'll be ahead."

"Please let me know if the speed is too much," Jolt said, remembering the fact that humans were much more fragile than they made themselves out to be. "I'll take over steering now, Sunny and I won't be talking for a while."

"Cool. I'm texting Mom to see if she's okay," Ari said, letting go of the steering wheel and leaned back in the seat, her attention on the phone again. For such a little device, it seemed to command a lot of attention from the humans. Then Jolt remembered that Ari was a fighter pilot, and was clearly used to such high speeds. Then again, he was not a jet, but rather a vehicle right now… which put her life at higher risks than if she were in the air. But if Starscream were up there too, he reasoned, it would be equal risk then.

Ari seemed to sense that he was coming up to the first turn, because she reached up and held onto one of the handholds in the car without looking up as he geared up for the first left. Keeping g-forces in mind, Jolt was able to turn his body so that his entire self would not flip completely over, but took the two wheels on the right side off into the air. A similar thing occurred when he made the first right he came to, as per Ari's instructions. "We're almost there," he said.

"Okay, there's going to be a low bridge coming up now, Walker's Bridge. It's pretty long; it stretches over a river. We're going to see the highway also," Ari said, glancing up from her phone briefly in time to see an orange blur flash past the window. "What the hell was that?" she asked, looking back in an attempt to get a better look.

"A sign of some sort. Didn't get a good look," Jolt said, frowning to himself when he felt the road underneath him turn to gravel. Was it supposed to do that?

"Why are we inclining?" Ari asked, putting the phone down and frowning as she looked out the window. "There weren't any hills that _I_ remember…"

"It was years ago, remember?" Jolt said, decelerating a bit to get a better grip on the suddenly slippery road. He slowed down some more, just so he could see the road material better. He scanned the nearby highway, and was rather surprised to find that Sunstreaker had fallen back… _way_ back. "Um, did you get caught?" he commed his comrade.

**_"Nuh-uh. Say hi to the fishies for me, will you? I only regret that I won't be able to see it for myself, but will have to settle for the media coverage," _**Sunstreaker said in an innocent tone, Sideswipe's laughter audible in the background. There was an audible _click_ as he signed off.

"Why did he say that?" Ari demanded, suddenly sounding slightly panicked.

"I have a feeling we're about to find out," Jolt said, sensing the bridge coming to an abrupt stop ahead. He began to attempt to slow down.

* * *

Mary Reardon had had the strangest of mornings.

At first she attributed the massive _CRASH_ that woke her up to an after-effect of drinking a bit too much at her friend's bingo party. But then she found the giant crater in the dead center of her backyard on her way to the medicine cabinet, and she'd called the police immediately. In the middle of the call however, her electricity died rather violently. After dipping her hands in ice-cold water then wrapping them in bandages, she'd gone to investigate her yard, only to find members of the National Guard in her driveway. Yes, they'd tried to remove her from the premises, explaining that it was a matter of national security, but she vehemently refused.

So here she was, in a faded white wicker rocking chair on the back porch with an empty shotgun in her lap and a lemonade in hand, watching in fascination as soldiers tied the area off. The soldiers didn't know the shotgun was empty, and Mary didn't bother to correct their impression. The police were quickly shooed away around noon when two Lamborghinis, a Search & Rescue ambulance, and a black GMC Topkick took over her driveway. Her violet Subaru looked pathetically small next to the GMC.

"More police?" she asked as the leader, Lennox she recognized from her daughter's promotion ceremony a couple years ago, walked up the porch as the others went to the edge of the hole. She narrowed her eyes and said, "Army huh? How bad are we talking?"

"All you alright Ms. Reardon?" Lennox asked, frowning. He looked around before asking, "Is Ari here?"

"Other than for my killer hangover, yes, I'm fine," she said, scowling. At the mention of her daughter however, she raised her eyebrows. "No, I haven't seen my girl in a while. How is she?"

"A pain right now. Just took off and left us in the dust," Lennox said, annoyed.

"Well, if you came from Central Mass, she probably was trying to provoke you into drag-racing on Walker's Bridge. Did it all the time with her brother. Of course, it's under reconstruction right now, so it's impassable," Mary said, her voice trailing off when she saw Lennox's cross expression. "Why, what happened?"

Lennox opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when they heard a car engine. Turning, Mary saw a silver vehicle pulling into the driveway, water still streaming off of the sides. The others, she noticed, had turned also, and two men were struggling not to start laughing while the ambulance driver seemed to be fighting back a smirk. The driver's door opened, releasing a large amount of water, and Mary raised an eyebrow when she saw her daughter get out. Ari's dark hair was now plastered to the side of her face, and she was clearly still bringing her temper under control. She had taken the armor plating off, and her bodysuit was clinging to the clothing beneath it. She walked stiffly to the porch, only pausing to flick water at the two men. "You knew the whole time, didn't you?" she asked them icily.

"Ratchet found it while mapping out the route on the way here, and told us. We just took advantage of the information presented to us," one of the men said.

"How's this for paybacks?" she hissed, and then marched up to the porch. She leaned down to kiss her mother in greeting before taking the old white wicker chair and placing it next to her mother. Glaring at Lennox and the two identical men, she said, "So Mom, want to hear what's new about my life? Well, there's this _wonderful_ thing called 'Autobots' and they're…"

"ARI!"

**A/N: Transformers and all related media belong to Hasbro. All original characters belong to me and require my written permission to be used elsewhere. :)**


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